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Big 5-oh! 50 days sans alcohol! While I’m thrilled to be feeling so much better and not looking like I just rolled home from Vegas, I find myself wondering what has led me astray in the past so that I can do it differently this time. With the exception of pregnancy and having very young children with no desire to drink at that time, the longest time I’ve ever gone since I seemed to develop these horrible drinking habits is a little over nine months. When I think back to what made me drink again, it’s a bit terrifying how easily I let it happen. It was just a whim. I felt like my husband and I weren’t getting along so great and an easy way back to normalcy was to have dinner and a bottle of wine or two. That was prob three-five years ago. How stupid is that? I let everything I had worked so hard and sometime not so hard... but everything that was helping to sustain my happiness, slip back into the bottle. Eventually I was back in Hell and while I’ve had a few bouts of stopping for short periods of time, I could never put together good sober time. Honestly, I’m scared that I will give it all up again. It happened so easily every time before. I know all the tricks and the plans, but history shows I seem to convince myself unconsciously that I’m ok. I DO NOT EVER want to go back there. I’m at 50 days today and my next stop is 100. I’m really trying to love myself enough to not F up the life I’m building AF. I want it to be one that I will never risk losing. I’m in that frame of mind today and need to figure out how to stay there. |
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Congrats on 50 days! It is so important to remain vigilant. I've had months sober and just blown it. I think at some point surely it has to stick. Especially if we want it bad enough. Keep up what you are doing! :) |
Well done! Keep it up, you're doing great. |
Congrats on 50 days! That is awesome! Keep right on going, SNP. |
Congrats on 50 days :) I posted here a lot, even when I thought I didn't need to. I wanted to remind myself daily that the problem was still there, if not active. I also had a action plan for all those times I started thinking about drinking, or those times I was ambushed by an opportunity to drink. Basically, keep using your support - it will get you through and keep you sober. |
You sound very positive about stopping drinking for good and that's a great start. I completely understand how you began to ease back into drinking by believing that a bottle of wine would help smooth things over in your marriage. The disease works so hard to convince us that alcohol will solve each and every problem. And, of course, it only makes things worse. 50 days of sobriety is great and I know you make it to 100 and beyond. :) |
Congrats on 50 days! I relapsed several times at first. In order for me to achieve long term (hopefully permanent) sobriety, I had to work on changing myself. Each short sobriety phase was easy at first because I was motivated by remembering my last drunk episode. But once that wore off, I had nothing to fall back on. I hadn’t changed myself, my beliefs, my habits and behaviors. I started going to individual therapy, which i did for a year, and still go occasionally. I do meditation, yoga and exercise religiously. I follow 12 steps. I am a more spiritual person. Coming to SR daily, journaling and practicing gratitude have been so helpful for me as well. Stay strong and develop a daily practice for working on yourself and your sobriety. You can do it! |
I relate very much to this post. Pregnancy was easy to quit, breastfeeding no problem, but every time it snuck back into my life. After my youngest was born, and I quit breastfeeding, and knew he was my last child, I hit the bottle hard. And I almost lost my family in the process. Each time it got worse, and I NEVER want to go back to that miserable life. I have 100 days as of yesterday, and what has changed for me this time is I’ve completely Taken it off the table, and AA and SR are big parts of my life. I can’t afford the consequences anymore. You can do this!!! |
Congratulations serenitynowplz!! :Dance7: |
Congrats on 50 days. Keep rolling:) |
Hows it going SNP? D |
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