Visiting relatives tomorrow-husband says I “have to drink a little”
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Originally Posted by Hootowlhoot 
Other wise have a drink and and decline additional
Because declining a drink means your pregnant or your a drunk
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Because declining a drink means your pregnant or your a drunk
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Good job on getting through Christmas!
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 119
Originally Posted by Gettingcloser
Thank you for the update. I was thinking of you!
today isnt offnto a great start with him. I’m having a good day at work but he is flying off texts to me right now , he is in a bad mood about the holidays and family in general. I told him I’m not feeding into it. It’s exausting doing this
I know not drinking won’t solve our problems but it doesn’t seem to help either. My whole head hurts now. I want to not drink though so I can stay level headed during these times and he has one less thin to hold over my head 
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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Originally Posted by miamifella
It is weird that he thinks it is so important to appear to drink. And if it is such an issue, why not just tell his parents that you are an alcoholic in recovery?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,434
I'm so glad you stayed strong hoot - and glad your husband agreed in the end.
To be honest tho it sounds like this dynamic between you has been going on a while. Its a bizarre mindset to me now where being sober is less embarrassing that being fall down drunk but I know that mindset exists.
It may be a bit much to expect that you being sober for a short while will change anything much?
That doesn't mean the efforts not worth it!
In the longer term tho I hope it does, but who knows - this is your journey not your husbands,
D
To be honest tho it sounds like this dynamic between you has been going on a while. Its a bizarre mindset to me now where being sober is less embarrassing that being fall down drunk but I know that mindset exists.
It may be a bit much to expect that you being sober for a short while will change anything much?
That doesn't mean the efforts not worth it!
In the longer term tho I hope it does, but who knows - this is your journey not your husbands,
D
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Well done! I honestly think that if you keep laying down your boundaries and holding strong, most spouses will adjust. My husband and I are by no means a perfect couple, but we’ve evolved over time, and part of that has involved me setting boundaries. Anyway, I echo what everyone else says : you have to look out for youself.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Congratulations on your recovery.
There was a lot of emotional and psychological abuse going on in my life before I had any idea the things that seemed normal and familiar to me were actually very hurtful and damaging.
Al-anon and nar-anon are great resources, along with domestic violence recovery hotlines and help centers. Simply having people who understand abusive situations helped me see things more clearly and I started gaining tools and skills to deal with ithem.
There was a lot of emotional and psychological abuse going on in my life before I had any idea the things that seemed normal and familiar to me were actually very hurtful and damaging.
Al-anon and nar-anon are great resources, along with domestic violence recovery hotlines and help centers. Simply having people who understand abusive situations helped me see things more clearly and I started gaining tools and skills to deal with ithem.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 293
This season seems to bring out the weirdness in my husband too. Christmas day we had a big blow out fight because the drama with family and the stress of all that was on our plates.
So life still has its challenges but because I am not drinking I am able to deal with this seasonal sh*tshow with a clear head. I am not confrontational (major thing for me when I was drinking) I watch my sober self take everything in stride. I am present and functioning. I know when to hold em' and I know when to fold em'.
Above all else, stay sober. You can't go wrong with that approach.
So life still has its challenges but because I am not drinking I am able to deal with this seasonal sh*tshow with a clear head. I am not confrontational (major thing for me when I was drinking) I watch my sober self take everything in stride. I am present and functioning. I know when to hold em' and I know when to fold em'.
Above all else, stay sober. You can't go wrong with that approach.
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