carpetcleaner

...and I want to get out of it as soon as I can.
My plan is to read regularly on here for support as this is an amazing place for that and you guys are all fantastic support. My doctor is also supporting me.
I guess I could say I don't know what went wrong but I do know exactly what went wtong - I picked up that first drink during mid summer. I had been alcohol free and so happy but my addiction took over again.
Wow, even with physical symptoms I carried on these last few months. That's terrible.
CC

Free2bme888

You got this. You’ve done it before

You know what went wrong.

Welcome back😍

ScottFromWI

Welcome back carpet cleaner. Glad to hear you've been working with your doctor, and you will definitely find support and understanding here. It is pretty scary how quickly things go from good to horrible when we pick up a drink, I'm glad you realize the gravity of your decision to have that first one.

Ghostlight1

Yep, it's that first one. I'm glad you realize that. I carried on for long periods of time, after periods of sobriety, after taking that first drink.
Glad you're getting support, and of course you'll always find us here.


Best to you.

Awake61

Each time I picked up, after a period of sobriety, my drinking was much worse.
At this point, I know I won't survive another drink. I must stay present. There are lots of reasons to live sober. Doesn't always have to be pleasant, but at times it simply feels just soothing to sit and not be drunk.

Anna

Welcome back, carpetcleaner. I'm glad to know you're ready to do this again. I'm sure having your doctor's support will be helpful, too.

Hevyn

Good to see you - I'm very happy you're reclaiming your life. I felt the same when I arrived at SR - the daily visit here helped me find strength & courage. We know you will!

nigey1

It sure do s get harder doesn't it. I reckon enough is enough. I don't know about u but I can't see me doing this in a few more years. It's give up now for me or a bad outcome. Great to see u here.

carpetcleaner

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words. I'm truly grateful.

I'm at that fork and I'm going to take the right one.

Am 43 now and much of my life has been wasted due to drinking. What a complete and utter waste.

Wow, typing this out has me in tears. I'm so glad I'm back on SR.

CC

MantaLady

Good to see you back CC! x

Hevyn

CC - I was quite a bit older when I first came here. I'm glad you're taking these steps now, at only 43. You'll be avoiding so much misery.

MissPerfumado

I was 42 when I quit. Spent over a decade in deep, deep denial about it.

It's never too late. Don't think about the years past, think about the rest of your life. The first day of which is ... today.

Delilah1

Welcome back!!! I was 45 when I finally stopped for good, and it was so worth it. Just think, you can go into the new year with over a week or sobriety under your belt, and have a completely sober 2019.

I know you can do this!!!

least

I was 58 when I got sober for good. It was hard but is the best thing I've ever done for myself. My life is so much better now. No drama, no pain, no self hatred.

totfit

............but the other side is "nearly" heaven. The best part is you really never have to go through this again. Ultimately, though we can complicate it large and small, it is a matter of just not putting it in our system again. Why would we?

Zebra1275

I'm currently in Hell...

It sounds like you drove yourself there.

Good for you realizing that you need the help of others in finding your way back.

I wasted a lot of years trying to find my way back by myself. When I finally gave up trying to do it by myself, sobriety was much easier to achieve.

Welcome back!

wildflower70

Like others have said, life is so much better without the drink, and each time we go back to it, that drink takes a little more out of us, our self esteem, our health and happiness, and our freedom.

Be free from the prison of drinking, you are never too old, too weak, or too broken. I was 48 and I'm never going back! Bless you on your journey, and everyone here will help you on along the way.

carpetcleaner

Thank you everyone, I appreciate all your wonderful words.

I really can't get any lower with this Found myself drinking at 9.30am yesterday which is far from a first for me too. Not being able to take my child to visit family before Xmas. Just drinking whilst he watched TV. Utterly appalling.

​​​​​I've decided if I don't do something about this finally now, it's going to kill me.

Thank you everyone for being there.

CC

ScottFromWI

That's a pretty startling realization when you actually see it, isn't it. The tough part though is actually doing something about it...are you ready to do so?

carpetcleaner

I am ready because I don't want to die by drinking Enough is enough. I'm done.

CC.