Bought wine and booze for a dinner party tonight
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,819
What happens when you do develop a bone of temptation?
Is your abstinence based on the absence of desire, only ?
In a lot of your posts you speak of the 'nostalgia' of intoxication and how you beat it or win out.
I'm an avid AVRT'er precisely because my path has to include living comfortably with latent desire, temptation. From my perspective I don't think the desire for booze/intoxication ever vanishes ,completely, heck I think it is sometimes important to 'tease' the desire lest I think the apparent absence of it is the sole reason I choose not to ever drink again.
For me thinking that I will know I won't drink , even loosely based, on the absence of desire doesn't work.
Eliminating desire or fighting desire doesn't work for me, desire is integral to life and beyond my capacity to circumvent, realizing and accepting that has made me able to dismiss it.
None of this is intended to be a gotcha or 'method' message, just a view , from my path, and an observation of the things you relate.
Is your abstinence based on the absence of desire, only ?
In a lot of your posts you speak of the 'nostalgia' of intoxication and how you beat it or win out.
I'm an avid AVRT'er precisely because my path has to include living comfortably with latent desire, temptation. From my perspective I don't think the desire for booze/intoxication ever vanishes ,completely, heck I think it is sometimes important to 'tease' the desire lest I think the apparent absence of it is the sole reason I choose not to ever drink again.
For me thinking that I will know I won't drink , even loosely based, on the absence of desire doesn't work.
Eliminating desire or fighting desire doesn't work for me, desire is integral to life and beyond my capacity to circumvent, realizing and accepting that has made me able to dismiss it.
None of this is intended to be a gotcha or 'method' message, just a view , from my path, and an observation of the things you relate.
What happens when you do develop a bone of temptation?
Is your abstinence based on the absence of desire, only ?
In a lot of your posts you speak of the 'nostalgia' of intoxication and how you beat it or win out.
I'm an avid AVRT'er precisely because my path has to include living comfortably with latent desire, temptation. From my perspective I don't think the desire for booze/intoxication ever vanishes ,completely, heck I think it is sometimes important to 'tease' the desire lest I think the apparent absence of it is the sole reason I choose not to ever drink again.
For me thinking that I will know I won't drink , even loosely based, on the absence of desire doesn't work.
Eliminating desire or fighting desire doesn't work for me, desire is integral to life and beyond my capacity to circumvent, realizing and accepting that has made me able to dismiss it.
None of this is intended to be a gotcha or 'method' message, just a view , from my path, and an observation of the things you relate.
Is your abstinence based on the absence of desire, only ?
In a lot of your posts you speak of the 'nostalgia' of intoxication and how you beat it or win out.
I'm an avid AVRT'er precisely because my path has to include living comfortably with latent desire, temptation. From my perspective I don't think the desire for booze/intoxication ever vanishes ,completely, heck I think it is sometimes important to 'tease' the desire lest I think the apparent absence of it is the sole reason I choose not to ever drink again.
For me thinking that I will know I won't drink , even loosely based, on the absence of desire doesn't work.
Eliminating desire or fighting desire doesn't work for me, desire is integral to life and beyond my capacity to circumvent, realizing and accepting that has made me able to dismiss it.
None of this is intended to be a gotcha or 'method' message, just a view , from my path, and an observation of the things you relate.
^ This. A house full of booze and the only thought I have when I look at it is how awful it would be to drink some and lose that complete control I've had for the past 4-5 months. The thought of being tipsy doesn't appeal to me let alone getting hammered.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
These are all very good comments. I always drank beer and whiskey and my wife drinks wine or spritzers. I dont have any beer or whiskey in the house because I quit drinking. There is still My wife's alcohol. I really can't imagine any scenario where I would even be tempted to drink it. When I am tempted, which happens often, I want to go to the bar. I want to sit down and order a beer and an old fashioned. I dont go because I can't drink anymore, not because I don't want to.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
My instinct tells me a sober alcoholic should not purchase alcohol under any circumstances. I understand the strong attraction and mental obsession with buying alcohol and being attracted to the packaging and sophistication.
i also think assuming that the people you bought the alcohol for could enjoy it responsibly is not morally correct.
I would think again before doing it again.
i also think assuming that the people you bought the alcohol for could enjoy it responsibly is not morally correct.
I would think again before doing it again.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Maybe I am just concerned right now in particular, but I hear a whole lot of "do it your way." I get that and I don't do things the same way as everyone else in AA - but I do follow a path I started learning from people who have what I wanted. A happy, joyous and free life lived sober and well.
I firmly believe two things I think fit to mention here-
Alcoholism is absolutely "cunning, baffling and powerful." We get free of any need to fear it, in AA speak, and can go and do whatever we like .... but our choices need to be guided by fundamental premises. I trust myself bc I know when NOT to trust myself.
Second, something I have heard and observed often in just my own sober time, is that a relapse starts well before the first drink.
I think that is something so crucial to remember - a relapse starts well before the first drink.
If you are committed to any progam of recovery, and it's a good one working for you then no, you probably won't drink just bc you bake boozy food or go to a liquor store. But my position is that making the next right choice that keeps me going on a solid path of recovery means I am moving ever further from the potential relapse rather than closer to the drink.
Take care of yourselves - it's def up to each of us to do what we need to do to stay on track.
I firmly believe two things I think fit to mention here-
Alcoholism is absolutely "cunning, baffling and powerful." We get free of any need to fear it, in AA speak, and can go and do whatever we like .... but our choices need to be guided by fundamental premises. I trust myself bc I know when NOT to trust myself.
Second, something I have heard and observed often in just my own sober time, is that a relapse starts well before the first drink.
I think that is something so crucial to remember - a relapse starts well before the first drink.
If you are committed to any progam of recovery, and it's a good one working for you then no, you probably won't drink just bc you bake boozy food or go to a liquor store. But my position is that making the next right choice that keeps me going on a solid path of recovery means I am moving ever further from the potential relapse rather than closer to the drink.
Take care of yourselves - it's def up to each of us to do what we need to do to stay on track.
My instinct tells me a sober alcoholic should not purchase alcohol under any circumstances. I understand the strong attraction and mental obsession with buying alcohol and being attracted to the packaging and sophistication.
i also think assuming that the people you bought the alcohol for could enjoy it responsibly is not morally correct.
I would think again before doing it again.
i also think assuming that the people you bought the alcohol for could enjoy it responsibly is not morally correct.
I would think again before doing it again.
Maybe I am just concerned right now in particular, but I hear a whole lot of "do it your way." I get that and I don't do things the same way as everyone else in AA - but I do follow a path I started learning from people who have what I wanted. A happy, joyous and free life lived sober and well.
I firmly believe two things I think fit to mention here-
Alcoholism is absolutely "cunning, baffling and powerful." We get free of any need to fear it, in AA speak, and can go and do whatever we like .... but our choices need to be guided by fundamental premises. I trust myself bc I know when NOT to trust myself.
Second, something I have heard and observed often in just my own sober time, is that a relapse starts well before the first drink.
I think that is something so crucial to remember - a relapse starts well before the first drink.
If you are committed to any progam of recovery, and it's a good one working for you then no, you probably won't drink just bc you bake boozy food or go to a liquor store. But my position is that making the next right choice that keeps me going on a solid path of recovery means I am moving ever further from the potential relapse rather than closer to the drink.
Take care of yourselves - it's def up to each of us to do what we need to do to stay on track.
I firmly believe two things I think fit to mention here-
Alcoholism is absolutely "cunning, baffling and powerful." We get free of any need to fear it, in AA speak, and can go and do whatever we like .... but our choices need to be guided by fundamental premises. I trust myself bc I know when NOT to trust myself.
Second, something I have heard and observed often in just my own sober time, is that a relapse starts well before the first drink.
I think that is something so crucial to remember - a relapse starts well before the first drink.
If you are committed to any progam of recovery, and it's a good one working for you then no, you probably won't drink just bc you bake boozy food or go to a liquor store. But my position is that making the next right choice that keeps me going on a solid path of recovery means I am moving ever further from the potential relapse rather than closer to the drink.
Take care of yourselves - it's def up to each of us to do what we need to do to stay on track.
Lets not make this thread about AA and not AA.
People are sharing their experiences and beliefs Less.
You get that when you start a thread
I'm not in AA, but I keep a dry house. I don't buy drinks for my guests.
I figure if I can't be comfortable in my own house, I'm in trouble.
I spent a lot of time people pleasing as a drinker. I don;t do that anymore - but
I'm not a zealot either.
My dad is a normie he likes port.
I've bought him port before, but not in the first few years of my recovery.
Shopping in a liquor store is pretty much like shopping in a sports store for me now. Nothing in there to interest me.
It doesn't play on my mind at all, before or after.
D
People are sharing their experiences and beliefs Less.
You get that when you start a thread
I'm not in AA, but I keep a dry house. I don't buy drinks for my guests.
I figure if I can't be comfortable in my own house, I'm in trouble.
I spent a lot of time people pleasing as a drinker. I don;t do that anymore - but
I'm not a zealot either.
My dad is a normie he likes port.
I've bought him port before, but not in the first few years of my recovery.
Shopping in a liquor store is pretty much like shopping in a sports store for me now. Nothing in there to interest me.
It doesn't play on my mind at all, before or after.
D
Couldn't disagree more. It's a decision in line with how I see myself in a world where many people drink normally. My path is my own, uneffected by whether the booze is in my fridge or at a store on the corner - it's just simply not mine to drink.
Some of the comments in here are coming across in a very 'if you don't do it our way, you are likely to fail down the line' which isn't very fair.
I don't keep a dry house, but I no longer drink. I also was not at an insanely dangerous alcoholic level when I decided to give up alcohol (like many here were). Having read many stories here, I could tell that I could end up that way though, so I quit before it got too far. I don't think I am making a mistake by keeping alcohol in the house. My husband is a drinker and so are my friends. Should I keep a completely dry house? I clearly have enough control to not drink here, so should I throw all the alcohol away and punish my sensible husband and friends just because there could be an off chance that I'd suddenly go crazy and drink some of it? The fact is, alcohol doesn't interest me any more, so I'm not worried about it being here.
I don't keep a dry house, but I no longer drink. I also was not at an insanely dangerous alcoholic level when I decided to give up alcohol (like many here were). Having read many stories here, I could tell that I could end up that way though, so I quit before it got too far. I don't think I am making a mistake by keeping alcohol in the house. My husband is a drinker and so are my friends. Should I keep a completely dry house? I clearly have enough control to not drink here, so should I throw all the alcohol away and punish my sensible husband and friends just because there could be an off chance that I'd suddenly go crazy and drink some of it? The fact is, alcohol doesn't interest me any more, so I'm not worried about it being here.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Everyone has the right to follow their own path and do what works for them. It is a reality alcohol is all around us and to keep a dry house if a partner drinks is a difficult thing.
We can't exist in a bubble where there is no alcohol and we only interact with sober people.
i do think to make a judgement on whether a person can drink alcohol and enjoy it sensibly is not ours to make.
What i I have difficulty with is the physical act of going to a licker store picking out alcohol and purchasing it. I can see that this would fulfill a desire but think it is very risky.
Very interesting thread this one. I feel you are trying hard to convince yourself and defend yourself. I am not a fan of AA but their saying 'Be true to thine self' is a good one.
We can't exist in a bubble where there is no alcohol and we only interact with sober people.
i do think to make a judgement on whether a person can drink alcohol and enjoy it sensibly is not ours to make.
What i I have difficulty with is the physical act of going to a licker store picking out alcohol and purchasing it. I can see that this would fulfill a desire but think it is very risky.
Very interesting thread this one. I feel you are trying hard to convince yourself and defend yourself. I am not a fan of AA but their saying 'Be true to thine self' is a good one.
Just wanted to say that I am really impressed that you were able to host a party with alcohol. It brings to mind that maybe you are just a heavy drinker or your alcoholism hasn't progressed that far. I once let someone bring alcohol to my house and ended up downing a glass while they went to buy pizza. I think I was at about 6weeks dry. You are really determined and strong and I admire that.
Just wanted to say that I am really impressed that you were able to host a party with alcohol. It brings to mind that maybe you are just a heavy drinker or your alcoholism hasn't progressed that far. I once let someone bring alcohol to my house and ended up downing a glass while they went to buy pizza. I think I was at about 6weeks dry. You are really determined and strong and I admire that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: NY
Posts: 327
I’ve had parties at my house and bought some beer and wine, a lot of people bring their own , some bring liquor and take it with them.
I usually pour most of the beers ur the next day leave some in the outdoor fridge.
Honestly if I wanted to drink I would just go back to my old bar. Guys would probably think I just came out of the bathroom. All recoveries are a different let’s all just get to the destination.
I usually pour most of the beers ur the next day leave some in the outdoor fridge.
Honestly if I wanted to drink I would just go back to my old bar. Guys would probably think I just came out of the bathroom. All recoveries are a different let’s all just get to the destination.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)