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Old 12-10-2018, 07:52 AM
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Child minds

So I used to drink a lot when my child was younger and I don't know where she got her sense that my drinking was bad because around 3yrs old she would scream if I put beer in the shopping cart and wouldn't quit till I took it out. Later on she would sniffed my drinks and straight up call me out by telling the waitress "my mom said she wasn't going to drink but I guess that's a lie". It did work because after that I was too embarrassed to order my drink.

But now she is a tween and wants me to drink and tells me it's okay, you deserve one or can I make you a drink. She is obsessed with watching youtube on how to make drinks and is always asking if we can make them. I've asked her why she's okay with me drinking suddenly and she doesn't have a answer just because.

So I guess my question is if anybody else's kids have even changed their option on their drinking.

And yes she knows I don't want to drink anymore.

Last edited by BeachBrat; 12-10-2018 at 07:55 AM. Reason: Added more
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:16 AM
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Maybe she is trying to justify her own interest in drinking? To be honest, I would be quite concerned.
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:18 AM
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Yeah, I agree with Anna. I started drinking at about age 12 I think. Mom didn't ever catch on but then she was drinking herself.

Are you interested in tackling your own drinking issues? Have you gotten any sober time recently?
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:29 AM
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Children live what they know. I would be a bit concerned. I don't know any tweens that watch you tube videos about making cocktails.
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:41 AM
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That's one of the odder questions I've seen asked here.
Are you trying to get sober?
Do you consider yourself an alcoholic or have a drinking problem?
Why is your daughter looking for how to make drinks?
She's not even of age to drink.
Do you drink in front of her?
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:51 AM
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Actions speak a lot louder than words when it comes to drinking. If your kids see you drinking, they will likely think it's OK even of you tell them that it's not.

We cannot control other's actions of course, but likely your best plan of action would be to take responsibility for your own problem and solve it by quitting and staying quit. If they see you taking that responsibility, it may teach them to approach it the same way. That's not to say that they won't drink alcohol - but if they see you being responsible about your problem they may have some more respect for the potential dangers themselves.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:06 AM
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[QUOTE=biminiblue;7073103]Yeah, I agree with Anna. I started drinking at about age 12 I think. Mom didn't ever catch on but then she was drinking herself.

Are you interested in tackling your own drinking issues? Have you gotten any sober time

I've only managed about 6months at a time in the late couple of years. For right now it's only day three.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by BeachBrat View Post
I've only managed about 6months at a time in the late couple of years. For right now it's only day three.
Day three is a great start.

I think if you can stay on that path, it will help all your issues. If your daughter is indeed drinking you'll be able to talk to her more clearly and she's more apt to listen if you're not drinking yourself. I know I didn't listen to my mother about drinking and drugs when she was drinking herself every day. Seemed hypocritical to me.

Everything becomes more manageable and less fear-inducing with some sober time.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:11 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Actions speak a lot louder than words when it comes to drinking. If your kids see you drinking, they will likely think it's OK even of you tell them that it's not.

We cannot control other's actions of course, but likely your best plan of action would be to take responsibility for your own problem and solve it by quitting and staying quit. If they see you taking that responsibility, it may teach them to approach it the same way. That's not to say that they won't drink alcohol - but if they see you being responsible about your problem they may have some more respect for the potential dangers themselves.
I totally agree I have to start taking responsibility for my drinking and quit for good. I have allot of reteaching to do with her, well at least I think I do I'm not sure.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 View Post
That's one of the odder questions I've seen asked here.
Are you trying to get sober?
Do you consider yourself an alcoholic or have a drinking problem?
Why is your daughter looking for how to make drinks?
She's not even of age to drink.
Do you drink in front of her?
Yes I am trying to get sober.
I know I'm a alcoholic.
I guess she thinks it's fun or maybe she thinks it's normal.
I try to hid it from her but I know she knows. I've been off and on the fence for a couple of years about finally quitting, then there's time where she'd surprises me with a drink and being me I take it even when I don't really want it but I still drink
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:20 AM
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I'm always pained in a very deep way by any damage that I may have, and certainly did, cause my son when I was drinking. I'm not sure what you're even really asking with this post. But I am sure that you need to quit drinking for yourself, and for your daughter. Honesty and openness is a wonderful thing between parents and kids. But so is leading by example. I'd be concerned about her interest and current behavior. But I'd be more concerned about continuing to choose to drink.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:59 AM
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Oh, okay. I understand now.
And, yes, three days is great. Six months is great too and no one can take that away from you.
It must be hard having your daughter so interested in drinking.
Especially when she's making drinks for you.
I know I would be awfully tempted to drink.

I wish you the best. And welcome to the forums. I'm glad you're here and post away about whatever's on your mind.
You'll find a lot of support here
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Old 12-10-2018, 11:33 AM
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Getting sober is certainly the most important thing in my FOO with an alcoholic mom. Getting help for my brother and me was one of he best things my parents did. It didn't prevent me from becoming an alcoholic but my understanding of the value of getting mental health and LIFE support has been critical to my rcovery.
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Old 12-10-2018, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Maybe she is trying to justify her own interest in drinking? To be honest, I would be quite concerned.
I agree with this. Getting you to drink will cover up her own drinking.
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Old 12-10-2018, 01:28 PM
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I have a tween too. Kids learn from their peers, older siblings, social media, etc They also learn from their parents. I would be concerned about my child watching YouTube videos on making cocktails. I think the most important thing is to be a role model and set an example. Lead the life you want to teach your child to have.
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Old 12-10-2018, 03:27 PM
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I'd be concerned too. I hope you can make this your turning point, BeachBrat. Kids need good role models - you can be that

D
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