Cellardweller

Hi everybody,

I wanted to check in again and hopefully get some feedback on something I've been thinking about.

I've been staying sober, the meaning of the phrase "one day at a time" really is starting to hit home. This applies to drinking, but also to life in general. My S.O. and I have some long term plans, but really my best hope is to get through the day. She doesn't like hearing that. Life seems too big and overwhelming sometimes to take it otherwise. I used to be a long-term plan kind of guy, now I just want to finish my day's to-do list.

Finding something I'm passionate about since changing careers is still a process, haven't found that yet. Sometimes I do think about starting drinking again, less to do with stress, and more to do with restoring my 'drive'. Even if that means everything would come apart. Strange, right? Life is a little less eventful (the 'excitement' [lol] of trying to hold it all together and keep drinking has been replaced by keeping my life respectable and moving forward. To what, I'm not sure sometimes) than when I drank. Fewer ups, downs, and escapes.

So anyways, we got into a semi-heated discussion today before work. I think our disagreement revolved mostly around how there's a crowd that espouses marijuana's medical benefits, but really does it for the mind altering effects.

I saw the exact same thing in brewing. Consumption and over-consumption was done for any reason that sounded reasonable. There are legit people this stuff helps, but I'd wager most do it just to do it. This is where I have a problem: not calling it what it is, a lot of people use it to avoid problems because solutions are hard. When I lived in CA, getting your card was always joked about. "Just tell them you have neck pain."

I've got some problems that I've tried to get professional help to deal with, outside of drinking. The change starts with the person, through work. There's no quick fix and people need to look life and reality in the face and do the work.

Maybe a rant, but I needed to get that out.

For those still new in sobriety, the thought of drinking never really goes away. We've all crossed a line where things most likely will never go back to normal, our relationship with alcohol. There's a lot of work to do, it's a process. The good news is that things can get better, the Voice will be with you but you can put yourself into a place where you can tell It 'no'. You can put yourself into a place that you can improve and move your life forward.

Best wishes.