Renvate

I am recovering from a 2 month daily binge, about 2 bottles of champagne a night, or 16 beer's or 2 reds. What ever I felt those nights.

Anyway, I was sober for about 4 days but I slipped on a plane trip , free wine. I had 3 glasses.

I probably got a small buz, but then came an onslaught of extreme depression until I sobbered up again.


I couldn't believe how crap it made me feel. I felt no euphoria at all just misery.

Iam still sober after those wine's. But Just still shocked from its effect.

lessgravity

When did you last drink?

DriGuy

I can't remember this clever ditty, but maybe someone else can remember it for me. I'm not sure if the words are exactly correct, but it starts out something like, "Alcohol gave me the wings to fly, but...."

It was one of those metaphors that resonated as, "So true." I haven't heard it for 20 years.

Anna

Hi Renvate, Alcohol is a depressant so it's not surprising that you feel down after drinking. Do you have a plan for how to stop drinking and stay sober?

Caralara144

Alcohol gives you wings!!
But it takes away the sky..

Dee74

so...whats the plan Renvate?

D

Soberwolf

Hi Renvate the quotes I've highlighted I can relate heavily too as when I was trying to give up the drink this was basically my life story. Everyone is ready when thier ready it could be today it might be tomorrow it might not happen at all. All I can say is keep trying

newhope01

Sounds like your situation may be a blessing in a disguise as you are no longer able to get anything positive out of your drinking anymore.

Something similar happened to me once. I decided I was going to consume alcohol and in order to be able to get out of the house without having to explain myself and get a pat down on the way back in, I lied and said I was going to AA.

I went to AA but also picked up nasty cheap box wine on the way to the meeting and carefully stashed it in the car. During the meeting I felt so horrible. All I could think about was how much of a lying fraud I had become and left the meeting half way through.

I went home and still consumed the alcohol but it was the worst drunk I ever had. The feelings of guilt were immense and I remember thinking how it was a good thing that AA ruined drinking for me. Basically, I couldn't ignore my conscience anymore.

Fearlessat50

Hi Renvate. I read that this happens because after a period of chronic alcohol abuse, your brain chemistry is changed. Forever. Alcohol causes a flood of dopamine which results in the initial highs. After abuse, though, the alcohol causes a decrease in dopamine receptor sites so that the dopamine now has nothing to bind to. This is why there is always that feeling of chasing the high that addicts know. I think it’s fascinating! Along with what I also understand about kindling and PAWS, this is also a huge motivator for me to not drink at all ever again.

least

I hope you get sober before it's too late.

Primativo

The high I got from alcohol towards the end of my drinking days, i.e. the last few years, was definitely much different from the early days of my drinking life.

I think back to when I was in my 20s and getting drunk was generally fun, particularly in my early twenties, euphoria for sure. The fun declines every so slowly, sos lowly we don't actually notice it. If you were to experience the sensation of being drunk at 21 and instantly switch to how it feels drunk at 35 after I became alcoholic, I think we'd all be amazed.

In the last few years, when I drank, I never really got a high. I'd just get bloated stomach, wretching, vomiting, nauseous, acid reflux, loss of appetite, and then grogginess and black out.

Sure, I still get the warm fuzzy feeling after a few drinks, but that soon paves way to total intoxication.

That said, I know the feeling all to well of the second and third day of binging, when you no longer feel drunk or high, just very depressed and sick. It's a horrible place to be, we feel compelled to carry on drinking even though it's just making us feel worse. I never want to go back there.

thomas11

I think when we reach the point of drinking to feel normal, or that drinking doesn't get us drunk, its time to quit.

Renvate

" i couldn't ignore my conscious anymore" is probably the best way to put it.

I read a lot about Naltrexone and it says that if you take it you don't get a buzz but you just get drunk, and this, in turn, helps you to quit.

In saying that, the moment on the plane felt like my brain did this by itself without the medicine. By far the worst drunk I've ever felt.

What's my plan? i dunno... just not drink.( but i know i need more then just that) i have sober strength when i am with my family and the reason for my binge is because i was alone in my apartment for those 2 months, and everywhere social i went there was alcohol. I did go to a few job interviews but the end of the year made it hard to find a position and i couldn't sit in the at apartment anymore for another 2 months because i would drink.

I made the conscious decision to move out and buy a plane ticket back home, cutting my tenancy agreement because i was just going to drink and isolate and nothing else if i stayed there longer.

Atm I am staying with my close family and staying sober is much easier and a lot more enjoyable here than alone. I've come to the conclusion that i can't live alone, which is frustrating because i want to live alone and have my own place like i did a few years ago.

Meraviglioso

In the end I got no euphoria from drinking ever. What I did get, and know I will get if I choose to drink again, is a brief feeling of "clocking-out" from the real world. I can turn away from bad emotions or over-excitement or whatever I want to adjust and not feel, and just drink to escape.
But that temporary escape does nothing to change the situation I want to avoid. It is still waiting for me when I sober up along with various new problems I created while drinking.
In addition, my drinking brought on extreme depression, paranoia, anxiety and suicidal tendencies. This occurred within hour of starting and happened every time. I am never suicidal when sober, even during periods of depression or great stress. I am always suicidal when drinking.

I now work very hard at recognising when that desire to escape comes on. It comes on strong and I know alcohol will provide immediate relief. I work very hard at remembering that the relief is short lived and offers no permanent solution. I work very hard at remembering the misery that comes with drinking.

Dee74

I've probably given this to you before but it really is a great set of links about making a recovery action plan.

Just trying not to drink was futile really because sooner or later I found myself in so many physical and emotional opportunities to drink.

It was like treading water till my next drink. Having a well defined cogent recovery action plan and using it is kinda like learning to swim for the shore.

D

Outonthetiles

The I put it is: alcohol stopped working for me. Unfortunately, it took me about two years to catch on to that fact.

Calmerwaters

Agree. And once I read studies that outlined that alcohol 'tricks' you into thinking that if you drink, you'll feel good, I finally accepted that I was swirling in a vortex of an illusion that it was feeding me.

Alcohol is a poison. And every time it crossed my mind to drink, or romanticise drinking, I would interrupt that thought with imagining the reality - dry wretching, vomiting, nausea, looking disgusting, low-self esteem...THAT is the reality.

those were all of the REAL side effects of drinking, not the fake ones alcohol wanted me to believe.

The minute alcohol passed my lips, it was an exercise in controlling the desire for more...the real effect of alcohol was not euphoria, the real effect of alcohol was a compulsion to keep going until I passed out.

It took me a while to truly realise the pleasant feeling of sobriety was much more valuable to me than the 'illusion' alcohol was selling me.