Transparency
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 55
Transparency
I made my way to day 12, no cravings, feeling good, then... it hit me. Hard. I wanted to drink so bad, it felt like my veins were about to pop. My body went completely numb. I honestly can’t explain it. I’ve never felt this way before. So, I’ve given in. I got the bottle. I’m not drunk or even drinking at all, but I have the bottle. My brain is longing to hear that beautiful crack, as I twist off the cap, yet somehow, I don’t. My body says yes and my brain says no.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Then don't. Dump it out. Lose the temptation.
Your brain is saying no and to dump it out. Your alcoholic brain is telling you to quench the thirst. Don't think about it another second. Just get rid of it. Eat something. Go for a walk. Just DO.
Your brain is saying no and to dump it out. Your alcoholic brain is telling you to quench the thirst. Don't think about it another second. Just get rid of it. Eat something. Go for a walk. Just DO.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,500
I hope you decide to get rid of the bottle.
Go out for a walk, call a friend, eat some good food, do whatever you can think of to ease your feelings. Once you get through this craving, it will get easier.
Go out for a walk, call a friend, eat some good food, do whatever you can think of to ease your feelings. Once you get through this craving, it will get easier.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
You made it to twelve days, do you really want to throw it away for a very temporary thing?
I would dump it. That sound of the bottle opening is now your enemy.
Drinking isn't going to solve anything and think of how you'll feel tomorrow.
I would dump it. That sound of the bottle opening is now your enemy.
Drinking isn't going to solve anything and think of how you'll feel tomorrow.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 55
Well, I definitely won’t dump it out, I can return it for a refund. I haven’t opened it. Maybe that’s only available here? Drinking is not cheap in Canada. My plan is to bring it to a different store and say it was an unwanted gift, get my money back and move on.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 55
I don’t entirely understand how there can be a battle between two different “me”. I’m so glad I posted to hear an outside (of my head) opinion. The bottles going back after work. I can’t let this consume the real “me” again. Thank you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 55
Posting my thoughts seems to help and under the title transparency, I might as well be honest. I quit drinking 12 days ago. I quit smoking cigarettes 9 days ago. I was ready for a total life overhaul. I smoked a decent amount. I drank significantly more than the average person. I am young and have a family. I love them and they love me. I have made mistakes, while drinking or not. My only motivation to quit drinking and smoking, is the expense. Here, 25 cigarettes is about $18. 375ml of vodka is $20. I make middle class money but this is a waste of it. Am I entirely selfish that this is my reason to quit? Or is any reason, reasonable?
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Thank you!
I was worried there for awhile. Seriously, I was.
I relapsed that way so many times I couldn't count them. And I sure don't want to see anyone else do it.
Believe me, you're making the correct decision. A bottle of misery and it's short term effects and long time after-effects is just not worth it.
Good for you.
I was worried there for awhile. Seriously, I was.
I relapsed that way so many times I couldn't count them. And I sure don't want to see anyone else do it.
Believe me, you're making the correct decision. A bottle of misery and it's short term effects and long time after-effects is just not worth it.
Good for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 55
Ghostlight, or anyone that posted, any response, positive, negative, I don’t even care, is a response. While I’m struggling, it means everything to me. Truly, THANK YOU! It’s a few minutes that kept me occupied instead of grabbing that bottle. Another hour or so and I’ll be leaving work. I just got a crappy coffee from the vending machine, still better than booze.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'm really glad you thought it through Uh Oh.
For what its worth I was in a similar situation once - I just dumped the bottle - I considered the cost writeoff was a good investment in my future - and it was
D
For what its worth I was in a similar situation once - I just dumped the bottle - I considered the cost writeoff was a good investment in my future - and it was
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Personally, I think any reason is a good reason to quit. However, I think you will find many additional reasons, in addition to saving money, to stay sober, as time goes on.
I quit smoking 10 years ago cold Turkey. The reason I quit was it was affecting my breathing when exercising. I now have so many reasons to remain nicotine free. Save money, dont smell like cigarettes, bad example for the kids I now have, cheaper health care. The list goes on and on.
I only quit drinking 45 days ago. I drank most days but would get blackout drunk a couple times a month. I quit drinking specifically because I woke up Saturday 45 days ago, again ashamed of my actions the night before, and again feeling awful. Just 45 days in totally sober and I already notice additional benefits. One of the biggest is my depression has almost totally lifted, I had no idea it was from alcohol use.
I quit smoking 10 years ago cold Turkey. The reason I quit was it was affecting my breathing when exercising. I now have so many reasons to remain nicotine free. Save money, dont smell like cigarettes, bad example for the kids I now have, cheaper health care. The list goes on and on.
I only quit drinking 45 days ago. I drank most days but would get blackout drunk a couple times a month. I quit drinking specifically because I woke up Saturday 45 days ago, again ashamed of my actions the night before, and again feeling awful. Just 45 days in totally sober and I already notice additional benefits. One of the biggest is my depression has almost totally lifted, I had no idea it was from alcohol use.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 55
I don’t know why today is the day, it’s tough. Im pushing 14 hour work day now, with a few hours left (this is typical). Liquor store will probably be closed by the time I leave (I’m in Canada, lots of regulation). Which means, the bottle will be there tomorrow. I can’t dump it, I can’t. It’s literally money down the drain. I always made my (first) run on lunch so I’ll return it on my lunch break tomorrow if I can get away from work. If I can’t... who cares? I have to.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
The longer you have the bottle the more likely you are to drink it. If you do end up drinking it you are still out the $20 and that's the least of your issues. Continued sobriety is priceless. I vote down the drain. It will also help you think twice next time, if you know you will be out another $20.
I know money is your motivation for quitting but this is just one $20. If you end up drinking it, then buy another you are out another $20, then another bottle, and $20 more dollars, and on and on. Cut your losses and poor it out.
I know money is your motivation for quitting but this is just one $20. If you end up drinking it, then buy another you are out another $20, then another bottle, and $20 more dollars, and on and on. Cut your losses and poor it out.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Rd2quit has it spot on. Even in your words I sense the internal struggle you are facing. If money is your motivator, dumping it down the drain should be a great visual reminder of how wasteful alcohol is.
In just over 2 months, I have saved $635 U.S. Now another $250 since my wife stopped too. Would that be enough motivation to stop for you?
The other benefits of being sober are worth 100 times the $$$.
Btw, I used the money saved to purchase airfare for a quick getaway to Florida in January for my wife and kids. And we have been able to donate to others in need.
In just over 2 months, I have saved $635 U.S. Now another $250 since my wife stopped too. Would that be enough motivation to stop for you?
The other benefits of being sober are worth 100 times the $$$.
Btw, I used the money saved to purchase airfare for a quick getaway to Florida in January for my wife and kids. And we have been able to donate to others in need.
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