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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Originally Posted by Phil71els 
Thanks for all the support!! Its nice to know that others have made this journey already and found joy at the end.
I've seen the Doctor who was kind, patient and understanding. He told me that I am doing all the right things, asked me how much I drink (2 bottles of wine per night) and how I'd got here.
I explained a lot of things, my mother was an abusive alocholic (her mother was too) who would send soul destroying text messages to me (when she was drunk/had taken a months worth of diazapam in one day) over night to wake up to some mornings.
How after my first child was born my parents started to visit which caused friction between her and my wife and in anticipation of this, to reduce the anxiety, I'd have a few beers which gradually became a bottle of wine. When she died 7 years ago I stopped but realised I enjoyed the evening after a few glasses. Which eventually led to now. I told him I went to my first AA meeting yesterday also.
He prescribed me librium to take for a week, less and less each day. I've to eat a more nutritious diet, start exercising again (I used to run) and be more positive about things, which I tend not to be.
I feel like there is hope after all, because until yesterday I felt so trapped and controlled by drinking.
Later I plan to keep busy, I know I cant drink while taking librium and I dont want to but there is a habit to break as well as the addiction. I am a person who likes a routine and this will massively alter mine. I've a list of things I can do to keep me busy. Since I've had no energy from hangovers or just sitting drinking in the evenings over the last 5 years my house has gone from a lovely place to a sh*thole. Its untidy, dirty, piles of laundered clothes everywhere, kids toys everywhere. It needs decorated and replairs done too which I've been promising my wife I'd do for years now. Plenty to do.
I've seen the Doctor who was kind, patient and understanding. He told me that I am doing all the right things, asked me how much I drink (2 bottles of wine per night) and how I'd got here.
I explained a lot of things, my mother was an abusive alocholic (her mother was too) who would send soul destroying text messages to me (when she was drunk/had taken a months worth of diazapam in one day) over night to wake up to some mornings.
How after my first child was born my parents started to visit which caused friction between her and my wife and in anticipation of this, to reduce the anxiety, I'd have a few beers which gradually became a bottle of wine. When she died 7 years ago I stopped but realised I enjoyed the evening after a few glasses. Which eventually led to now. I told him I went to my first AA meeting yesterday also.
He prescribed me librium to take for a week, less and less each day. I've to eat a more nutritious diet, start exercising again (I used to run) and be more positive about things, which I tend not to be.
I feel like there is hope after all, because until yesterday I felt so trapped and controlled by drinking.
Later I plan to keep busy, I know I cant drink while taking librium and I dont want to but there is a habit to break as well as the addiction. I am a person who likes a routine and this will massively alter mine. I've a list of things I can do to keep me busy. Since I've had no energy from hangovers or just sitting drinking in the evenings over the last 5 years my house has gone from a lovely place to a sh*thole. Its untidy, dirty, piles of laundered clothes everywhere, kids toys everywhere. It needs decorated and replairs done too which I've been promising my wife I'd do for years now. Plenty to do.
I also feel you pain but VERY IMPRESSED by your passion to quit . My mum, was, and is still is an alcholic and loveliest person when i was growing up but an ABSOLUTE MONSTER on the drink, maybe thats why I am, or should i say being sober for 4 days, was an alcoholic.
Being married myself, i feel your pain and quilt, but if your wife is anything like mine, they will be hugely impressed your doing somethig constructive to quit and make yourself better!
Dont worry about your house being in need of some diy (most do)and dont look at it being a massive job. You wouldnt climb Everest in one effort but in stages via base camps. Use this method for you house, Write a list 'per room' whats needs doing and set manageable tasks, even, paint one wall (take all day to do it if need be) and tick them off as you go! Rome wasn't built in a day :-D
Keep us posted!
Warmest regards
Welsh Future
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 208
WelshFuture, Thanks for the support. I like the idea of taking it room by room. At least that way the daunting task is a set of fairly manageable chunks. Aim is to have it decent for the areas we will have visitors into over the festive period. Good luck. I am determined I can do it.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: UK
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So about 30 mins ago my wife asked me to go get something we need for kids lunches for school tomorrow from the store. She also asked me to get her some wine, she is stressed our house is not ready for gettting the festive decorations out yet. I went to the store and bought her some wine but got nothing for me. She drinks white which I dont. It was a shock at first to have to do this so soon but i just calmly walked in picked up a bottle for her, paid and walked out. She is drinking her first glass now. I have tea. I dont feel jealous at all, it is just a bit soon for me to feel totally comfortable with the situation. I wont drink thats for sure but it was an unexpected test.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Made it through. She had 2 large glasses of wine, I had tea. It didnt bother me that there was booze literally within arms reach. I want this too much. I watched TV, made the lunches for today. Had some more tea and went to bed sober and slept through only waking up once very briefly. Feel good but fear the bigger tests have yet to come and that was just a small one.
I'm making a different plan each morning based on whats happening that day to make sure I am busy or avoiding situations where booze might be available. Taking each day at a time. Not looking into the future for problems to worry about, just deal with them as they appear on that day.
Still sober.
I'm making a different plan each morning based on whats happening that day to make sure I am busy or avoiding situations where booze might be available. Taking each day at a time. Not looking into the future for problems to worry about, just deal with them as they appear on that day.
Still sober.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Originally Posted by Phil71els
Made it through. She had 2 large glasses of wine, I had tea. It didnt bother me that there was booze literally within arms reach. I want this too much. I watched TV, made the lunches for today. Had some more tea and went to bed sober and slept through only waking up once very briefly. Feel good but fear the bigger tests have yet to come and that was just a small one.
I'm making a different plan each morning based on whats happening that day to make sure I am busy or avoiding situations where booze might be available. Taking each day at a time. Not looking into the future for problems to worry about, just deal with them as they appear on that day.
Still sober.
I'm making a different plan each morning based on whats happening that day to make sure I am busy or avoiding situations where booze might be available. Taking each day at a time. Not looking into the future for problems to worry about, just deal with them as they appear on that day.
Still sober.
Keep going mate. It really does get easier every day, I'm not someone with significant sobriety time under my belt. I managed four and a half months this summer just gone and I was in a fantastic place, I could be around booze with no desire for it at all. It just gets easier but the first week or two it can feel quite difficult being around booze. That feeling doesn't last, the longer it gets between you and your last drink the better everything is.
I'm on day 14 now, I went out yesterday to the pub, people were drinking all around me and I didn't have any desire for booze whatsoever. Didn't even cross my mind. Stuck to soft drinks. It feels so good when you get home, sober and present, made a nice cup of tea and stuck a good documentary on.
If I was drinking yesterday, I'd have passed out on the sofa after drinking two bottles of wine, and right now as I type this I'll be desperately trying to resist going to the off license to get another drink. It's no way to live at all.
Take it from me too. Having experienced a few relapses, nothing changes if you decide to pick up again. You go very quickly straight where you left off. I've learnt now that it is ALL about the defence of the first drink.
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