Hope from hopelessness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Hope from hopelessness
I posted yesterday and couldnt even do that correctly in starting a new thread. I don't even know where to begin, but those that know my story, and talked through over the years I appreciate the help. I'm on the verge of losing everything. I mean it! Only reason why is my loving wife who has had it with me. I can go on with possessions, jobs, court, kids....when it comes us addicts it just doesn't matter. We still do it anyhow.
I had a major breakdown today and I was sober, but I've had it. I spoke with my sponsor and tried to keep it in, but it came out like rain. Maybe I needed it to motivate me AGAIN. I dont know! At this point right now I told him I dont think AA is working for me. How is me reaching out going to help whatever it is I'm going through? The situation is still going to be there regardless. "Meeting makers make it" NOPE. Whatever it is I'm not knocking AA. This has by far been the worst year of my life and my family. My doings! My actions.
Ok, let me pick myself up off the ground. Now what? Go to sober-living as its the last thing I havent done yet. Rehab, jail, self-medicate, doctor prescribed meds, nothing...done them all. Funny as I cant even afford that at the moment (soberliving).
I really don't know what next to do anymore. I'm just waving the white flag in general.
I had a major breakdown today and I was sober, but I've had it. I spoke with my sponsor and tried to keep it in, but it came out like rain. Maybe I needed it to motivate me AGAIN. I dont know! At this point right now I told him I dont think AA is working for me. How is me reaching out going to help whatever it is I'm going through? The situation is still going to be there regardless. "Meeting makers make it" NOPE. Whatever it is I'm not knocking AA. This has by far been the worst year of my life and my family. My doings! My actions.
Ok, let me pick myself up off the ground. Now what? Go to sober-living as its the last thing I havent done yet. Rehab, jail, self-medicate, doctor prescribed meds, nothing...done them all. Funny as I cant even afford that at the moment (soberliving).
I really don't know what next to do anymore. I'm just waving the white flag in general.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,287
I feel for you, I really do. I understand your feeling of hopelessness.
But ... and here's the thing, you have tried all you mentioned above, and you gave your own answer too.
Do you mean living a sober life or is sober-living a place, like a detox centre?
The thing is, Getright, none of the problems are going to go away , whether you drink or not , so why not rather try the "not". very often just that in inself will make all other things easier to handle or make them fall in place.
Please don't give up. You have so much more living to do. And you might just surprise yourself by being pleasantly surprised. Thinking of you.
But ... and here's the thing, you have tried all you mentioned above, and you gave your own answer too.
Go to sober-living as its the last thing I havent done yet.
The thing is, Getright, none of the problems are going to go away , whether you drink or not , so why not rather try the "not". very often just that in inself will make all other things easier to handle or make them fall in place.
Please don't give up. You have so much more living to do. And you might just surprise yourself by being pleasantly surprised. Thinking of you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Hoping for a better day Wednesday. I came to a few choices I have to make. Instead of going to the gas station for more booze just took a shower and got in bed. Mind you I only have these current delights such as a warm shower and bed because of my wife. Shes not here to see me as she works grave yard to support the family.
Meanwhile I get fired from a job in a record 5 days.
Hoping for better days. It is an old quote but true "If you're going through hell keep going" - Winston Churchill
Meanwhile I get fired from a job in a record 5 days.
Hoping for better days. It is an old quote but true "If you're going through hell keep going" - Winston Churchill
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by getright15 
How is me reaching out going to help whatever it is I'm going through? The situation is still going to be there regardless.
You're here cause you know quitting is the answer. May not change what you are going through, but it can't hurt. You've had a stint of sober time. I hope you can get back to it. Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm really sorry that you're struggling so hard right now. I think that if you are motivated to stop drinking for good, you will be able to do it. Whether you use AA, AVRT, books, etc is less important than you having motivation. You will be able to work through your problems, slowly but surely, as long as you don't drink.
I'm really glad that you posted.
I'm really glad that you posted.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello.
I did lose it all. The only thing that kept off the street was friends couches. Still I drank. And would when I got back on my feet.
It took a moment of revelation to make me see my plight, and it was literally life or death. Been hospitalized three times.
Believe me, I think as you know, things can and will get worse if we continue to drink.
Best to you. You can pull yourself out of this. Just make a start like you're doing. And remember, you never have to drink again.
I did lose it all. The only thing that kept off the street was friends couches. Still I drank. And would when I got back on my feet.
It took a moment of revelation to make me see my plight, and it was literally life or death. Been hospitalized three times.
Believe me, I think as you know, things can and will get worse if we continue to drink.
Best to you. You can pull yourself out of this. Just make a start like you're doing. And remember, you never have to drink again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
No its an actual sober living house. Its almost like paying for a dorm room but its weekly. House rules such as curfew, daily AA meetings etc. So its almost like rehab but not as structured.
Originally Posted by Ayers
I feel for you, I really do. I understand your feeling of hopelessness.
But ... and here's the thing, you have tried all you mentioned above, and you gave your own answer too.
Do you mean living a sober life or is sober-living a place, like a detox centre?
The thing is, Getright, none of the problems are going to go away , whether you drink or not , so why not rather try the "not". very often just that in inself will make all other things easier to handle or make them fall in place.
Please don't give up. You have so much more living to do. And you might just surprise yourself by being pleasantly surprised. Thinking of you.
But ... and here's the thing, you have tried all you mentioned above, and you gave your own answer too.
Do you mean living a sober life or is sober-living a place, like a detox centre?
The thing is, Getright, none of the problems are going to go away , whether you drink or not , so why not rather try the "not". very often just that in inself will make all other things easier to handle or make them fall in place.
Please don't give up. You have so much more living to do. And you might just surprise yourself by being pleasantly surprised. Thinking of you.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,338
Originally Posted by getright15
Hoping for a better day Wednesday. I came to a few choices I have to make. Instead of going to the gas station for more booze just took a shower and got in bed. Mind you I only have these current delights such as a warm shower and bed because of my wife. Shes not here to see me as she works grave yard to support the family.
Meanwhile I get fired from a job in a record 5 days.
Hoping for better days. It is an old quote but true "If you're going through hell keep going" - Winston Churchill
Meanwhile I get fired from a job in a record 5 days.
Hoping for better days. It is an old quote but true "If you're going through hell keep going" - Winston Churchill
Great choice!!
Some Brutally honest conversation here....
You are doing great they distraction and posting him. I can see that you were online right now and then is way better than drinking.
Some people think that detox centers “work for them” or that A.A. “works for them”. Or that SMART “ works for them “. Or that certain medications “works for them”
But the cold, hard truth? Those things don’t “work”For any of us in and of themselves. It is us, the addict, who work the different tools described above to help us be free from the chains of addiction.
There are many of us here that don’t go to AA. There are many of us here that AA has helped.
For me, it was that I was so sick of being ashamed, and being chained to my addiction motivated me to want to get sober.
I am six months today, and if I can do it, believe me, you can do it too
I believe in you.
SR is here for you. Make us one of your tools that help you get and stay sober .
Big hugs all around you
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
"But the cold, hard truth? Those things don’t “work”For any of us in and of themselves. It is us, the addict, who work the different tools described above to help us be free from the chains of addiction."
This really is the truth about beating addiction I think. Took me a long time of wallowing in the mud wondering what was going to get me out of it. Turns out it was me. I had to do the work.
For me, my addicted brain would think me out of taking action. Made sure I found every excuse possible to keep drinking. I needed to turn everything upside down to brake the hold addiction had on me.
If I knew I should exercise, I just did. Instead of pouring a drink, I forced myself to eat. No thinking . Just action. every day I would do something I always wished I did or knew I should have before I could think myself out of it.
I found he support I needed here on SR. I posted every day. Morning and night. Or just logged on and read. I joined the September class and shared with them.
Mostly tho, "you just have to want to be sober more than you want to drink".
You are here. I read your posts. I know you want to be a better man. Brake your addictions back. Be the person you know you can be. Pick your chin up, stick your chest out and take action!
You can do this getright15.
This really is the truth about beating addiction I think. Took me a long time of wallowing in the mud wondering what was going to get me out of it. Turns out it was me. I had to do the work.
For me, my addicted brain would think me out of taking action. Made sure I found every excuse possible to keep drinking. I needed to turn everything upside down to brake the hold addiction had on me.
If I knew I should exercise, I just did. Instead of pouring a drink, I forced myself to eat. No thinking . Just action. every day I would do something I always wished I did or knew I should have before I could think myself out of it.
I found he support I needed here on SR. I posted every day. Morning and night. Or just logged on and read. I joined the September class and shared with them.
Mostly tho, "you just have to want to be sober more than you want to drink".
You are here. I read your posts. I know you want to be a better man. Brake your addictions back. Be the person you know you can be. Pick your chin up, stick your chest out and take action!
You can do this getright15.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
get right, reaching out is not the ‘solution’ that AA offers, though that might be what some will tell you. you have found out for yourself that meetings and such did not “work”.
if you are going to go for AA, then doing what AA recommends/suggests would make sense. just as going to SMART or sober living and then following and implementing their ‘solutions’ makes sense.
picking a path and then actually walking it is advice that has proven very useful to me indeed. maybe you will, too.
if you are going to go for AA, then doing what AA recommends/suggests would make sense. just as going to SMART or sober living and then following and implementing their ‘solutions’ makes sense.
picking a path and then actually walking it is advice that has proven very useful to me indeed. maybe you will, too.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Lots of great advice here getitright. I'd echo the sentiment that there is no plan or program that will just "fix" things for you or do the work for you - that's your job. And in a sense that's what your sponsor is trying to tell you too, but in the context of AA since that's the program he and you are part of currently.
But yeah, bottom line is that you need to do the hard part yourself regardless of how you go about it.
But yeah, bottom line is that you need to do the hard part yourself regardless of how you go about it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,973
I didn’t do AA. I did individual therapy on a weekly basis. I still go occasionally. I also do meditation and yoga, lots of intense cardio exercise including running. To stay sober, I had to completely overhaul my thinking, behavior and lifestyle. There are so many different paths to recovery. Just don’t give up!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Yes, beyond honest here about it all. I have to be. I haven't spoke to my sponsor today, so I'm sure he thinks I'm out getting smashed. At this point he is not wrong. Like I said earlier I have some big boy choices to make.
A) Yes, I want to have sobriety
B) I want to be able to work a regular job and be there for my family
C) I'm sick of all of the drama and insanity
A) Yes, I want to have sobriety
B) I want to be able to work a regular job and be there for my family
C) I'm sick of all of the drama and insanity
Originally Posted by Free2bme888
Great choice!!
Some Brutally honest conversation here....
You are doing great they distraction and posting him. I can see that you were online right now and then is way better than drinking.
I am six months today, and if I can do it, believe me, you can do it too
I believe in you.
SR is here for you. Make us one of your tools that help you get and stay sober .
Big hugs all around you
Some Brutally honest conversation here....
You are doing great they distraction and posting him. I can see that you were online right now and then is way better than drinking.
I am six months today, and if I can do it, believe me, you can do it too
I believe in you.
SR is here for you. Make us one of your tools that help you get and stay sober .
Big hugs all around you
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by Free2bme888
Some people think that detox centers “work for them” or that A.A. “works for them”. Or that SMART “ works for them “. Or that certain medications “works for them”
But the cold, hard truth? Those things don’t “work”For any of us in and of themselves. It is us, the addict, who work the different tools described above to help us be free from the chains of addiction.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by getright15
A) Yes, I want to have sobriety
B) I want to be able to work a regular job and be there for my family
C) I'm sick of all of the drama and insanity
B) I want to be able to work a regular job and be there for my family
C) I'm sick of all of the drama and insanity
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
Today I decided to take my prescribed medications and not drink. Good thing I'm broke anyhow. My wife did let me know though "don't think for a second that I can stay here and drink as much as I want"
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Fortunately for you all 3 of those things are possible. And the solution to all of them is exactly the same. Hope you can make those "big boy" choices and get all 3 of them.
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