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Almost a year, question, and Happy Thanksgiving

Old 11-22-2018, 07:57 AM
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Almost a year, question, and Happy Thanksgiving

All,

It has been a long time since I posted. I am posting to say hello and ask you a question. I've become very active in AA and have a home group and sober friends. I am still taking it day by day but some days alcohol doesn't even cross my mind and I am very thankful for that.

Over the past several months I wish I could say I've been on a pink cloud but recently I've been an emotional wreck. I've been missing my ex husband (we've been divorced for almost 20 years) a ton. We got together to talk and I just burst into tears. The relationship is haunting me. Is this normal?

Thank you all and thank you for your support. Happy Thanksgiving.
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Old 11-22-2018, 08:10 AM
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Chow,

Congrats on a year.

I’ve got a little over a year, and feel that I continue to work through things from the near and distant past. For me, alcohol was a big coping mechanism.

Having shoved things down for so long, I try to be patient as I feel the healing, both physical and mental, is ongoing.

Happy Thanksgiving,
-bora
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Old 11-22-2018, 08:13 AM
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Congratulations on your recovery.

I think that you begin to work through things when you're ready. Maybe this is the time for you to really come to terms with your divorce. It sounds like you're doing well.
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Old 11-22-2018, 08:49 AM
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Hi chowchow

I am soon coming up on 4 years and my experience for the first couple of years was healing for my brain, my body and my spirit. I had a tough time, for sure.

Especially so, when I realised I had no buffer between me and my feelings once I stopped drowning them with alcohol.

Eventually, good feelings, actual authentic good feelings, made themselves known, too, and now I am thankful that I get to feel my full range of feelings and face them all with a clear heart.

Coming up on a year is so fantastic, it won't always feel like this.

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Old 11-22-2018, 08:51 AM
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Hi chowchow, congrats on your sobriety! This is all very normal. In fact, whatever you are feeling is normal simply because that’s what you are feeling!

Sometimes we don’t begin to come to terms with our past or process emotions until we’ve had some sober time. I had two siblings commit suicide when I was younger and didn’t truly start to deal with that until I stopped drinking a couple years ago and started therapy. I drank for a lot of reasons, but one for sure was to blot out and escape my feelings about my past.

The great thing about sobriety is it allows us to be fully present and feel all of our emotions intensely.
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Old 11-22-2018, 09:59 AM
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Sure. Its normal. I'm having Thanksgiving with my daughter and her father, my ex, today. Sometimes I wish I had given that relationship more of a chance. But mostly not.

If you are working the steps maybe this is one to do solid fourth step on. And if you believe there are amends to be made, make them when you are ready. Or maybe you need to make amends to yourself? That's a huge part of it too.
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Old 11-22-2018, 11:23 AM
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Happy Thanksgiving!

Congratulations on your sobriety. I have found an ebb and flow to emotions that through prayer, meditation and guidance from Higher Power/Great Spirit are being transformed.

I'm not alcoholic. I did have past trauma that's healing quickly. God works through many people, and also through connections in nature. Learning to trust our healthy instincts helps them strengthen. One day at a time.

Here's a thread I posted last May, about bulletproof coffee and meditation:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2-day-1-a.html

What you're experiencing seems very normal.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

Namaste
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Old 11-22-2018, 11:43 AM
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Congrats on your sobriety!

I was married 20 years, and even though I instigated the divorce, it was emotionally abusive, he stole money from me, we are still friends because we have teenage twins to raise. Makes it a hell of a lot easier to like him when I'm removed from the situation.


I burst into tears the other day because I miss what I never had with him. Probably the holidays doing it to me.


Hugs,
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Old 11-22-2018, 12:01 PM
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Thank you all. Lot's of wisdom in your responses. Part of me wants my ex to miss me too and I don't think he does. He has moved on. He did say I he will always have a bond with me because we were together during our formative years.

I am remarried and have a teen now.

For years I didn't give my ex much thought except to wish him a happy birthday.

I don't want to drink again. It didn't do me any good. But I hate these feelings. I go between depression, loss and anxiety.
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Old 11-22-2018, 01:37 PM
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Hi chowchow,

I've had great experiences with naturopathic doctors. Natural therapies and supplements have helped greatly with my healing, adrenal glands, kidneys, liver and gut health.

Have you talked to your doctor about your recovery?
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Old 11-22-2018, 02:29 PM
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Hi chowchow - welcome back!

if the break was 20 years ago and you're remarried now, I think this might be something to speak with a counsellor over - not that I think you have a serious problem or anything...just sometimes it's good to speak to someone who can help you accept what is, and move on?

congrats on your sober time

D
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