Almost a year, question, and Happy Thanksgiving - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-22-2018, 07:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 148

Almost a year, question, and Happy Thanksgiving


All,

It has been a long time since I posted. I am posting to say hello and ask you a question. I've become very active in AA and have a home group and sober friends. I am still taking it day by day but some days alcohol doesn't even cross my mind and I am very thankful for that.

Over the past several months I wish I could say I've been on a pink cloud but recently I've been an emotional wreck. I've been missing my ex husband (we've been divorced for almost 20 years) a ton. We got together to talk and I just burst into tears. The relationship is haunting me. Is this normal?

Thank you all and thank you for your support. Happy Thanksgiving.
chowchow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to chowchow For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (11-22-2018), Anna (11-22-2018), Fearlessat50 (11-22-2018), Hevyn (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 08:10 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 145
Chow,

Congrats on a year.

Iíve got a little over a year, and feel that I continue to work through things from the near and distant past. For me, alcohol was a big coping mechanism.

Having shoved things down for so long, I try to be patient as I feel the healing, both physical and mental, is ongoing.

Happy Thanksgiving,
-bora
__________________
My house burned down. Now I can better see the rising moon.
Mizuta Masahide
boreas is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to boreas For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018), Fearlessat50 (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 08:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 51,596
Congratulations on your recovery.

I think that you begin to work through things when you're ready. Maybe this is the time for you to really come to terms with your divorce. It sounds like you're doing well.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018), Fearlessat50 (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 08:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
under new management
 
2ndhandrose's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,037
Hi chowchow

I am soon coming up on 4 years and my experience for the first couple of years was healing for my brain, my body and my spirit. I had a tough time, for sure.

Especially so, when I realised I had no buffer between me and my feelings once I stopped drowning them with alcohol.

Eventually, good feelings, actual authentic good feelings, made themselves known, too, and now I am thankful that I get to feel my full range of feelings and face them all with a clear heart.

Coming up on a year is so fantastic, it won't always feel like this.

__________________
"Catch your breath, take your time."
2ndhandrose is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 2ndhandrose For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018), Fearlessat50 (11-22-2018), Zebra1275 (11-23-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 08:51 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Fearlessat50's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 1,702
Hi chowchow, congrats on your sobriety! This is all very normal. In fact, whatever you are feeling is normal simply because thatís what you are feeling!

Sometimes we donít begin to come to terms with our past or process emotions until weíve had some sober time. I had two siblings commit suicide when I was younger and didnít truly start to deal with that until I stopped drinking a couple years ago and started therapy. I drank for a lot of reasons, but one for sure was to blot out and escape my feelings about my past.

The great thing about sobriety is it allows us to be fully present and feel all of our emotions intensely.
__________________
__________________________________________________ ____
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom - Viktor E. Frankl

If you have no other religion, make it gratitude.
Fearlessat50 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Fearlessat50 For This Useful Post:
2ndhandrose (11-22-2018), chowchow (11-22-2018), Deserto (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 09:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 4,817
Sure. Its normal. I'm having Thanksgiving with my daughter and her father, my ex, today. Sometimes I wish I had given that relationship more of a chance. But mostly not.

If you are working the steps maybe this is one to do solid fourth step on. And if you believe there are amends to be made, make them when you are ready. Or maybe you need to make amends to yourself? That's a huge part of it too.
entropy1964 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to entropy1964 For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 11:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
Living In The Moment
 

Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3,417
Happy Thanksgiving!

Congratulations on your sobriety. I have found an ebb and flow to emotions that through prayer, meditation and guidance from Higher Power/Great Spirit are being transformed.

I'm not alcoholic. I did have past trauma that's healing quickly. God works through many people, and also through connections in nature. Learning to trust our healthy instincts helps them strengthen. One day at a time.

Here's a thread I posted last May, about bulletproof coffee and meditation:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...2-day-1-a.html (Day 1)

What you're experiencing seems very normal.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

Namaste
Mango212 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mango212 For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 11:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Free2bme888's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2018
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,603
Congrats on your sobriety!

I was married 20 years, and even though I instigated the divorce, it was emotionally abusive, he stole money from me, we are still friends because we have teenage twins to raise. Makes it a hell of a lot easier to like him when I'm removed from the situation.


I burst into tears the other day because I miss what I never had with him. Probably the holidays doing it to me.


Hugs,
__________________
Free


Living Free since 7/6/2019

ďThe choice is ours: we can either be a host to God, or a hostage to our egoĒ. Wayne Dyer
Free2bme888 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Free2bme888 For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 12:01 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 148
Thank you all. Lot's of wisdom in your responses. Part of me wants my ex to miss me too and I don't think he does. He has moved on. He did say I he will always have a bond with me because we were together during our formative years.

I am remarried and have a teen now.

For years I didn't give my ex much thought except to wish him a happy birthday.

I don't want to drink again. It didn't do me any good. But I hate these feelings. I go between depression, loss and anxiety.
chowchow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-22-2018, 01:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
Living In The Moment
 

Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 3,417
Hi chowchow,

I've had great experiences with naturopathic doctors. Natural therapies and supplements have helped greatly with my healing, adrenal glands, kidneys, liver and gut health.

Have you talked to your doctor about your recovery?
Mango212 is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mango212 For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018)
Old 11-22-2018, 02:29 PM   #11 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 176,774
Blog Entries: 1
Hi chowchow - welcome back!

if the break was 20 years ago and you're remarried now, I think this might be something to speak with a counsellor over - not that I think you have a serious problem or anything...just sometimes it's good to speak to someone who can help you accept what is, and move on?

congrats on your sober time

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
chowchow (11-22-2018)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:09 PM.