Time for a change ?
Do your best
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Time for a change ?
What is one thing you could improve/do/change about yourself today
I'd be grateful for heavy feedback from those with more than 5 years of recovery to show newcomers it's not just them trying to figure all this out we all are everyday
Today id like to improve on more efficient workouts, taking more time to hear & listen to others rather than the blah blah sound of my own voice lol
Id like to keep not judging others sometimes its hard for me but a gentle reminder is who the **** am i to say **** about judging others
I love small changes the ones most people miss thats the good stuff
What can we do today i wonder said pooh to piglet
I'd be grateful for heavy feedback from those with more than 5 years of recovery to show newcomers it's not just them trying to figure all this out we all are everyday
Today id like to improve on more efficient workouts, taking more time to hear & listen to others rather than the blah blah sound of my own voice lol
Id like to keep not judging others sometimes its hard for me but a gentle reminder is who the **** am i to say **** about judging others
I love small changes the ones most people miss thats the good stuff
What can we do today i wonder said pooh to piglet
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
Not related at all to wanting to drink anymore but I still need to worry less.
Do what you can and then let it go is still great advice - but sometimes fear beats out faith - for a day or two
D
Do what you can and then let it go is still great advice - but sometimes fear beats out faith - for a day or two
D
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hi SW!
I am just coming up to 4 years, so I hope it is okay to add my 2 cents
Actually, when I read some of the posts from newly sober people I would like to say that one of the great gifts of sobriety is the ongoing growing up. It is not a one and done situation!
Just recently, through a very painful interaction with my best friend, I have had an epiphany about my lack of boundaries and my lack of respect for other's boundaries.
Without that painful experience, I would still be trampling boundaries, far and wide!
I am very thankful to be able to continue learning new things about myself and better ways to interact with those around me.
I am just coming up to 4 years, so I hope it is okay to add my 2 cents
Actually, when I read some of the posts from newly sober people I would like to say that one of the great gifts of sobriety is the ongoing growing up. It is not a one and done situation!
Just recently, through a very painful interaction with my best friend, I have had an epiphany about my lack of boundaries and my lack of respect for other's boundaries.
Without that painful experience, I would still be trampling boundaries, far and wide!
I am very thankful to be able to continue learning new things about myself and better ways to interact with those around me.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,754
I credit gratitude with my positive life now. I was newly sober and feeling discontent and it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first, cause I was new to sobriety and feeling very depressed still.
But I made myself do it and now I find that I take delight in many things, small or large, ordinary or extraordinary.
Another thing that has contributed to my personal growth is expressing thanks to people. A long time ago I wrote a letter to Alex Haley, the author, and he wrote me back! And on the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. So that has become my motto.
A few months ago I had to patronize the local UPS store. I was carrying a large pkg, awkwardly, and when I came up to the store's front door, an employee asked me if she could carry the pkg into the store for me. That really made my day. So I stopped at the service center after I was done, and praised her to the head honcho. Also sent an email to corporate headquarters about her kindness and willingness to go the extra mile.
I notice most people will complain about bad service or products, but people rarely comment on the good things. A kind word can make someone's day.
In answer to the original question - the one thing I do to keep my life happy is to practice gratitude every day. I like Fearlessat 50's signature: if you have no other religion, make it gratitude.
I was newly sober and feeling discontent and it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first, cause I was new to sobriety and feeling very depressed still. But I made myself do it and now I find that I take delight in many things, small or large, ordinary or extraordinary.
Another thing that has contributed to my personal growth is expressing thanks to people. A long time ago I wrote a letter to Alex Haley, the author, and he wrote me back!
And on the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. So that has become my motto.A few months ago I had to patronize the local UPS store. I was carrying a large pkg, awkwardly, and when I came up to the store's front door, an employee asked me if she could carry the pkg into the store for me.
That really made my day. So I stopped at the service center after I was done, and praised her to the head honcho. Also sent an email to corporate headquarters about her kindness and willingness to go the extra mile. I notice most people will complain about bad service or products, but people rarely comment on the good things. A kind word can make someone's day.
In answer to the original question - the one thing I do to keep my life happy is to practice gratitude every day. I like Fearlessat 50's signature: if you have no other religion, make it gratitude.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Originally Posted by least 
I credit gratitude with my positive life now. I was newly sober and feeling discontent and it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first, cause I was new to sobriety and feeling very depressed still.
But I made myself do it and now I find that I take delight in many things, small or large, ordinary or extraordinary.
Another thing that has contributed to my personal growth is expressing thanks to people. A long time ago I wrote a letter to Alex Haley, the author, and he wrote me back! And on the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. So that has become my motto.
A few months ago I had to patronize the local UPS store. I was carrying a large pkg, awkwardly, and when I came up to the store's front door, an employee asked me if she could carry the pkg into the store for me. That really made my day. So I stopped at the service center after I was done, and praised her to the head honcho. Also sent an email to corporate headquarters about her kindness and willingness to go the extra mile.
I notice most people will complain about bad service or products, but people rarely comment on the good things. A kind word can make someone's day.
In answer to the original question - the one thing I do to keep my life happy is to practice gratitude every day. I like Fearlessat 50's signature: if you have no other religion, make it gratitude.
I was newly sober and feeling discontent and it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first, cause I was new to sobriety and feeling very depressed still. But I made myself do it and now I find that I take delight in many things, small or large, ordinary or extraordinary.
Another thing that has contributed to my personal growth is expressing thanks to people. A long time ago I wrote a letter to Alex Haley, the author, and he wrote me back!
And on the bottom of his stationery were the words: FIND THE GOOD AND PRAISE IT. So that has become my motto.A few months ago I had to patronize the local UPS store. I was carrying a large pkg, awkwardly, and when I came up to the store's front door, an employee asked me if she could carry the pkg into the store for me.
That really made my day. So I stopped at the service center after I was done, and praised her to the head honcho. Also sent an email to corporate headquarters about her kindness and willingness to go the extra mile. I notice most people will complain about bad service or products, but people rarely comment on the good things. A kind word can make someone's day.
In answer to the original question - the one thing I do to keep my life happy is to practice gratitude every day. I like Fearlessat 50's signature: if you have no other religion, make it gratitude.
Excellent! These are the same things I'm working on. Gratitude. It goes a long way. I don't expect it back, I just try and spread it.
Thank you, Least
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,754
This article (from two yrs ago) says gratitude can make you happier. I tend to believe that.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
I just know it does make me happy. I pray for it every night. And it works.
To put a smile on someone's face of someone who didn't expect a simple 'thank you' or 'excuse me' or saying random nice things to strangers about how good they look or for their help. It helps me lead a better life.
Gratitude. I love it.
I try and help the homeless. Especially the mentally ill. It's unexpected to them. And they may or may not show appreciation, but I get something out of it.
And the person bagging groceries. I tried to tip one, and he said he couldn't except tips. But just the act of showing my gratitude, and profuse thanks, made him smile.
It made my day.
Thanks for the article.
To put a smile on someone's face of someone who didn't expect a simple 'thank you' or 'excuse me' or saying random nice things to strangers about how good they look or for their help. It helps me lead a better life.
Gratitude. I love it.
I try and help the homeless. Especially the mentally ill. It's unexpected to them. And they may or may not show appreciation, but I get something out of it.
And the person bagging groceries. I tried to tip one, and he said he couldn't except tips. But just the act of showing my gratitude, and profuse thanks, made him smile.
It made my day.
Thanks for the article.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
From my current family and life situation at just past 2 yr 9 mo - being able to separate the difficult from the positive, and have more patience for the former working out as it is meant to- while actively enjoying and appreciating the latter.
We are in a very difficult phase with my 16 yr old step daughter - and a challenging but very hopeful one with my 20 yr old step son. Yesterday, she was missed because of her refusal to participate in our Thanksgiving Day, but I truly lived in our time with him & the beauty of it.
We are in a very difficult phase with my 16 yr old step daughter - and a challenging but very hopeful one with my 20 yr old step son. Yesterday, she was missed because of her refusal to participate in our Thanksgiving Day, but I truly lived in our time with him & the beauty of it.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,902
I'm coming up on 9 years in a few months and drinking again is not really a concern, but as a human being there is still work to do.
I continue to try to live my life "one day at a time" but sometimes Fear and Anxiety about the future creep in. One thing I learned in AA along time ago is that FEAR stands for Future Events Appear Real. I need to remind myself that 90% of what I worry about never happens, or if it does happen it turns out to not be a big deal after all.
And I can always work on patience, sometimes that's in short supply.
I continue to try to live my life "one day at a time" but sometimes Fear and Anxiety about the future creep in. One thing I learned in AA along time ago is that FEAR stands for Future Events Appear Real. I need to remind myself that 90% of what I worry about never happens, or if it does happen it turns out to not be a big deal after all.
And I can always work on patience, sometimes that's in short supply.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,572
More than 4 years sober, thoughts of drinking are rare and not a big deal.
On the other hand judgmental thoughts, worried thoughts -- I have plenty of those! Practicing gratitude helps, and I am using mindfulness and inquiry to try to disrupt my habitually negative thoughts.
It's an ongoing thing. I sometimes feel that there is a lot of love and kindness within me, that I do not show and do not share with the world, because I can't get out of my own way. I'm only 56, but seeing my father die last year reminds me that time is not unlimited, and there's no telling how much time I have. If I don't let my light shine now, when will I?
Today I will try to get out of my own way, and express love instead of judgment and fear.
On the other hand judgmental thoughts, worried thoughts -- I have plenty of those! Practicing gratitude helps, and I am using mindfulness and inquiry to try to disrupt my habitually negative thoughts.
It's an ongoing thing. I sometimes feel that there is a lot of love and kindness within me, that I do not show and do not share with the world, because I can't get out of my own way. I'm only 56, but seeing my father die last year reminds me that time is not unlimited, and there's no telling how much time I have. If I don't let my light shine now, when will I?
Today I will try to get out of my own way, and express love instead of judgment and fear.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
A timely thread! I've been sober for just over six years and I honestly thought I'd hit all the milestones/put everything behind me. Yet I find to my surprise that I'm still turning corners and improving. I just moved to Montana for work and in a lot of ways I'm starting a very new chapter of my life. Not just the change in latitude and it's hard to describe. But I'm learning to be better at things that I thought I just couldn't do. One example- I'm getting better at being a "morning person".
I guess after 25 years of dreading the morning hangover I've learned that there's beauty in those early morning hours. Don't get me wrong, I'd still rather sleep in but the adjustment has been surprisingly easy.
I suppose I could get better at not procrastinating. It's one of my worst habits. I'm very punctual in my work life but in my personal life I will use any excuse to put stuff off. As time goes by I'm slowly getting better at owning stuff and not putting if off but it's a challenge.
I guess after 25 years of dreading the morning hangover I've learned that there's beauty in those early morning hours. Don't get me wrong, I'd still rather sleep in but the adjustment has been surprisingly easy.I suppose I could get better at not procrastinating. It's one of my worst habits. I'm very punctual in my work life but in my personal life I will use any excuse to put stuff off. As time goes by I'm slowly getting better at owning stuff and not putting if off but it's a challenge.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
