Class of November 2018 Part 2
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Class of November 2018 Part 2
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I'm having a tough time right now. I have posted several times before that Friday has always been my big night. However, this one seems more difficult than the last 3. Maybe its because people around me in the office are talking about getting drinks soon, i got several invites to go out drinking, and the memories of the negative consequences from drinking are fading. The other crazy thing is my AV is not even trying to pretend that I'll just have a couple, I have been good and earned it. My AV is saying "go get drunk, its what you do, it's not like your really going to not drink forever, time to go do what you always do Friday."
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Join Date: Nov 2018
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Originally Posted by Rd2quit 
I'm having a tough time right now. I have posted several times before that Friday has always been my big night. However, this one seems more difficult than the last 3. Maybe its because people around me in the office are talking about getting drinks soon, i got several invites to go out drinking, and the memories of the negative consequences from drinking are fading. The other crazy thing is my AV is not even trying to pretend that I'll just have a couple, I have been good and earned it. My AV is saying "go get drunk, its what you do, it's not like your really going to not drink forever, time to go do what you always do Friday."
Here, have a Diet Coke (or your nonalcoholic drink of choice) with me. Let’s wake up tomorrow feeling smug and headache free. :-)
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
Originally Posted by Rd2quit
I'm having a tough time right now. I have posted several times before that Friday has always been my big night. However, this one seems more difficult than the last 3. Maybe its because people around me in the office are talking about getting drinks soon, i got several invites to go out drinking, and the memories of the negative consequences from drinking are fading. The other crazy thing is my AV is not even trying to pretend that I'll just have a couple, I have been good and earned it. My AV is saying "go get drunk, its what you do, it's not like your really going to not drink forever, time to go do what you always do Friday."
Get through tonight by any means necessary. Eat junk food. Call someone for coffee. Post here. Go to a movie. Afterwards, try to figure out a plan that let's your reorient how you think about Friday nights. You can absolutely still go out and have fun, you just need a strong strategy.
Best of luck.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Good job getting in here, Rd2quit, and letting those thoughts out. Your AV is a liar. You deserve to wake up tomorrow morning regret-free. Stick close, post often, keep yourself hydrated and full of food. Wishing you the best...
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 982
^ Some great advice for you there Rd2quit. I feel the same way, when I think about drinking it's to get a good buzz on. 1 or 2 isn't even considered....thus the problem. Abstinence solves all that.
My AV piped up pretty strong earlier and I drank a healthy shake to fill my belly, works every time. Day 33 here and life is good!
My AV piped up pretty strong earlier and I drank a healthy shake to fill my belly, works every time. Day 33 here and life is good!
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Thank you everyone for your help.
bonniefloyd - If I drink tonight, waking up tomorrow feeling like crap is best case scenario. More likely I will black out, embarrass myself and perhaps much worse. I will not drink tonight.
Orderfororder - A night out for drinks is different for me than many others. However, it is the same as a lot of people too. Many people drink way more than the binge drinking line of 4 or 5 drinks. They will also have negative consequences due to drinking. I know many people who may have one or two and be done and I know many people who have much more. I say this because it helps me not drink. Knowing I'm really not that different, but we are able to make choices that improve or even save our lives. I wont drink tonight.
caseyW - yes, both my kids and I deserve a non hungover me tomorrow. I will not drink tonight
JimiC - I figured I wasn't the only one that has an AV telling me to get drunk. We are close in days, this is day 28 for me. I will not drink tonight.
bonniefloyd - If I drink tonight, waking up tomorrow feeling like crap is best case scenario. More likely I will black out, embarrass myself and perhaps much worse. I will not drink tonight.
Orderfororder - A night out for drinks is different for me than many others. However, it is the same as a lot of people too. Many people drink way more than the binge drinking line of 4 or 5 drinks. They will also have negative consequences due to drinking. I know many people who may have one or two and be done and I know many people who have much more. I say this because it helps me not drink. Knowing I'm really not that different, but we are able to make choices that improve or even save our lives. I wont drink tonight.
caseyW - yes, both my kids and I deserve a non hungover me tomorrow. I will not drink tonight
JimiC - I figured I wasn't the only one that has an AV telling me to get drunk. We are close in days, this is day 28 for me. I will not drink tonight.
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
^ You are correct, there are many here alongside of you who face this struggle. Me included. I didn't mean to make you feel alienated or anything like that. Just wanted to reinforce the fact that moderation is not an option for us, as much as our AV would like to convince us otherwise.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 388
Orderfororder - you are 100% right moderation is out of the question. Really for two reasons.
1) I have woken up telling myself "I need to not drink so much next time" so often it would be crazy to think I would actually not drink so much "next time."
2) on days I do take it easy, by which I mean not black out and wake up feeling sort of ok I still have like 8 drinks. I'd do that like 4 nights a week. That cant possibly be healthy. After quiting for 28 days I'm starting to realize how much alcohol was affecting me even when I did not get black out drunk.
1) I have woken up telling myself "I need to not drink so much next time" so often it would be crazy to think I would actually not drink so much "next time."
2) on days I do take it easy, by which I mean not black out and wake up feeling sort of ok I still have like 8 drinks. I'd do that like 4 nights a week. That cant possibly be healthy. After quiting for 28 days I'm starting to realize how much alcohol was affecting me even when I did not get black out drunk.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Glad you’ve decided not to drink, R2q. :-)
So, I finished Annie Grace’s book, and I feel encouraged. She provides lots of solid arguments to counter that AV. I found it so convincing that I’m starting to think I can actually do this.
My husband I had a nice dinner tonight, he likes his wine, but whatever. Cravings were there, but I handled it.
Also, I told him that I’m quitting drinking because when i drink, I drink too much. He’s pretty cool about it.
So, I finished Annie Grace’s book, and I feel encouraged. She provides lots of solid arguments to counter that AV. I found it so convincing that I’m starting to think I can actually do this.
My husband I had a nice dinner tonight, he likes his wine, but whatever. Cravings were there, but I handled it.
Also, I told him that I’m quitting drinking because when i drink, I drink too much. He’s pretty cool about it.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Hope everyone is having a Fab Friday night with a clear and sober mind and full open heart. I have had a busy/good week. Except for massive explosion fight with my 17 year old son the other day. We made up and back to normal. I do not have any urges at the moment nor have I had them all week. A bit of anxiety over New Years Eve Plans with our party buddies. One of those hotel package things where its all inclusive with open bar... We made the plans while drinking... Dreadful I don't even want to go...
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Hello everyone,
Hoping for a sober Friday to all. It's been a while since I been sober on a Friday. I worked on my PC, went to work no hangover and spent some time conversing with my family instead of being locked up in my apartment chugging beers and cognac. Just purchased Annie Grace's book as I seen it pop up a few times here.
Going to bed early so I can wake up early, hit the gym and have a productive weekend. I wish you all well and positive vibes.
Hoping for a sober Friday to all. It's been a while since I been sober on a Friday. I worked on my PC, went to work no hangover and spent some time conversing with my family instead of being locked up in my apartment chugging beers and cognac. Just purchased Annie Grace's book as I seen it pop up a few times here.
Going to bed early so I can wake up early, hit the gym and have a productive weekend. I wish you all well and positive vibes.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,060
Well done RD2quit and GhostFace glad you made it past the Friday night drinks temptation.
I was also tempted but I always am as I have spent years drinking everyday at home so I am always in my "trigger zone".
For the readers amongst you I recommend Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey. It uses Addictive Voice Recognition Technique known as AVRT.
Lots of information about that in the Secular Section of these forums.
I might be checking in a lot this weekend as I am struggling already and its only 6.45am!
I was also tempted but I always am as I have spent years drinking everyday at home so I am always in my "trigger zone".
For the readers amongst you I recommend Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey. It uses Addictive Voice Recognition Technique known as AVRT.
Lots of information about that in the Secular Section of these forums.
I might be checking in a lot this weekend as I am struggling already and its only 6.45am!
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Good Morning! 
ReadyAtLast… We got so much snow here in NH! Hope you made it to NYC safely and are enjoying your trip!
ClearPath64… I get the “reward” trigger (although now I try REALLY hard to think of it as a punishment!), but I’m so baffled by the “tired” trigger! I hope your grand-furkids are behaving for you!
Strawberry18… How did your cookies turn out?
Bonniefloyd… Renaissance on! Renaissance off! So glad you’re getting a little more time
Scott2295… My husband is the same way, although in recent years I feel like he’s begun to think twice.
Chaisson… I am not familiar with MWO, but I understand what you are saying. SMART is really great and I don’t understand why the forums are suffering – especially since they are a HUGE meeting alternative to AA. It’s disappointing, but I’m really grateful to have this SR. This was the first place I joined back in 2008.
GhostFace… Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing
Alcohol DEFINITELY keeps me from being my best self! I love your Saturday morning plans! Thank you so much for the positive vibes! They help so much
Hopeforme2014… I, too, love Annie Grace! So not ready for all the snow we got yesterday. It’s waaay too early for me!
TeeJayVerm… I just love your tiger kitty You have some really exciting goals!
obosob… Congrats on hitting the 1 week milestone! That is really awesome! So proud of you I think your friend is so right… “I never regret not drinking” either! So glad you turned down the beer invite!
least… Hi! I remember you from when I joined in 2008. I’m so happy for your progress
Rd2quit… I can so relate to what you are experiencing. I have said those things to myself so many times.
Bonniefloyd… I love your advice to Rd2quit! I’m so glad you stayed strong through dinner!
orderfororder… “Playing the Tape Forward” has been very effective for me lately – especially when I take the time to write it down.
CaseyW… Great advice! How are you doing?
JimiC… I had the same experience last night when I ordered a sprite (not exactly healthy! LOL) instead of an alcoholic beverage.
joy57… Oh gosh. Teens. (she screams) I don’t know if you have been reading all the posts, but I am in the same darn boat coming up in a few weeks and… DRUNK PLANS. I am the queen of drunk planning. I am actually using this upcoming trip and our April vacation plans to keep my resolve to remain alcohol-free stronger. I have SO MUCH STRESS about this upcoming trip for which I don’t even want to go. When I was drunk it sounds AWESOME, right? OMGosh…
Kaily… AVRT really resonated with me too! Yes! Keep checking in. Do whatever it takes to make it through the weekend! I think you should go out and do something really wonderful for you!
Strawberry18… I’m so happy we’re not hungover either! Hangovers SUCK!!! Way to go, my friend!
ReadyAtLast… We got so much snow here in NH! Hope you made it to NYC safely and are enjoying your trip!
ClearPath64… I get the “reward” trigger (although now I try REALLY hard to think of it as a punishment!), but I’m so baffled by the “tired” trigger! I hope your grand-furkids are behaving for you!
Strawberry18… How did your cookies turn out?
Bonniefloyd… Renaissance on! Renaissance off! So glad you’re getting a little more time
Scott2295… My husband is the same way, although in recent years I feel like he’s begun to think twice.
Chaisson… I am not familiar with MWO, but I understand what you are saying. SMART is really great and I don’t understand why the forums are suffering – especially since they are a HUGE meeting alternative to AA. It’s disappointing, but I’m really grateful to have this SR. This was the first place I joined back in 2008.
GhostFace… Welcome! I’m so glad you are here! I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing
Alcohol DEFINITELY keeps me from being my best self! I love your Saturday morning plans! Thank you so much for the positive vibes! They help so much Hopeforme2014… I, too, love Annie Grace! So not ready for all the snow we got yesterday. It’s waaay too early for me!
TeeJayVerm… I just love your tiger kitty
You have some really exciting goals!obosob… Congrats on hitting the 1 week milestone! That is really awesome! So proud of you
I think your friend is so right… “I never regret not drinking” either! So glad you turned down the beer invite!least… Hi! I remember you from when I joined in 2008. I’m so happy for your progress
Rd2quit… I can so relate to what you are experiencing. I have said those things to myself so many times.
Bonniefloyd… I love your advice to Rd2quit! I’m so glad you stayed strong through dinner!
orderfororder… “Playing the Tape Forward” has been very effective for me lately – especially when I take the time to write it down.
CaseyW… Great advice! How are you doing?
JimiC… I had the same experience last night when I ordered a sprite (not exactly healthy! LOL) instead of an alcoholic beverage.
joy57… Oh gosh. Teens. (she screams) I don’t know if you have been reading all the posts, but I am in the same darn boat coming up in a few weeks and… DRUNK PLANS. I am the queen of drunk planning. I am actually using this upcoming trip and our April vacation plans to keep my resolve to remain alcohol-free stronger. I have SO MUCH STRESS about this upcoming trip for which I don’t even want to go. When I was drunk it sounds AWESOME, right? OMGosh…
Kaily… AVRT really resonated with me too! Yes! Keep checking in. Do whatever it takes to make it through the weekend! I think you should go out and do something really wonderful for you!
Strawberry18… I’m so happy we’re not hungover either! Hangovers SUCK!!! Way to go, my friend!
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Joy - 17-year-old son — I have one of those. He causes me no stress though; that position is taken by my 19-year-old daughter. Anyway, I feel your pain!
Ghostface — I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on Annie Grace’s book. I’m going to read her next one too, but it’s not out yet.
Kailey — I’ll check out Rational Recovery. My plan is to read and read and read until the brainwashing takes hold.
ososob — good on you, saying no to beer. I had a beer-related dream last night. So relieved to wake up this morning.
strawberry — I always feel rotten about myself when I’m hungover at one of my kids’ activities. It feels good being fully present, even when the weather is yucky, doesn’t it?
BreakFree — thanks! I feel that I’m in no way qualified to say much when others struggle because I’ve fallen on my face so badly, so many times. But we all need encouragement, and I think giving encouragement when we can strengthens our resolve. So how are you doing today?
Ghostface — I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on Annie Grace’s book. I’m going to read her next one too, but it’s not out yet.
Kailey — I’ll check out Rational Recovery. My plan is to read and read and read until the brainwashing takes hold.
ososob — good on you, saying no to beer. I had a beer-related dream last night. So relieved to wake up this morning.
strawberry — I always feel rotten about myself when I’m hungover at one of my kids’ activities. It feels good being fully present, even when the weather is yucky, doesn’t it?
BreakFree — thanks! I feel that I’m in no way qualified to say much when others struggle because I’ve fallen on my face so badly, so many times. But we all need encouragement, and I think giving encouragement when we can strengthens our resolve. So how are you doing today?
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
OMGoodness, guys. Yesterday was a whirlwind and I was only able to keep up with reading the posts but no time to write. We got a lot more snow than expected and we were NOT prepared. I spent all day taking care of snow removal and taxi’ing my teen and his friends around because they had the day off from school. On November 17th! Unheard of. "Back in the day" we pretty much always had school. Now they call school off if it's too cold! Lucky kids! LOL
ReadyAtLast and Themechanic… Where are you? Please check in! It’s unlike you not to be here. Come back no matter what, you hear? I hate to assume the worst and I always do because when I disappear, that’s what it usually means so if you’re just busy and it’s not “worst case scenario”, please forgive me! I hope you’re so busy enjoying your alcohol-free life that you just haven’t had time! I’ve heard that happens ;)
So back to yesterday. VERY triggery. Lots of hard, frustrating work. I didn’t expect snow removal and taxi’ing to take up my whole day so I was extra tired and frustrated because I didn’t get to the other half of my list. I tried to let it go, but I was SO TIRED. By late afternoon I just wanted to sleep. I tried to take a little nap to a meditation, but the UPS guy ruined that by triggering my dogs! Then my husband came home early and announced a last minute work event we had to go to. I was SO, SO super frustrated. I had to jump into action: touch base with kids, make arrangements, shower and get ready… OH MY! I wanted to send out an SOS to you guys requesting positive thoughts, but I just didn’t have time until we hit the car and then I had text messages I had to reply to. I was sooo tempted. It started while I was showering. Thinking about the upcoming trip and how I’ll likely drink anyway so “What’s the point?” Then I’d think of you guys. And then my oldest son, who has – on his own – decided to refrain from smoking pot and how I’d be letting him down and setting a bad example. The pot story for another time. I really had to do a mental “play the tape forward” because there was NO time to write. What did it for me in the end: thoughts of you guys, my son and the knowledge that if I should drink tonight (last night) I would ruin my entire week and not enjoy Thanksgiving like I plan to. Drinking last night would have likely ensured drinking tonight and possibly tomorrow (to “feel better”) and then I’d spend the first two days of the week recovering and get so behind that Thanksgiving would be overwhelming instead of enjoyable. Um… no thanks. EF THAT!!!
SO… we went to the work thing and… you know, sometimes I worry that what I might write will trigger others so I’m just going to say right now… TRIGGER WARNING! We walked in and the first thing I saw was a bar surrounded by people I knew with drinks in their hands. My throat was dry and my mouth watered. Nope. I’m not going to do it. I sat down and looked at the menu and the first thing I see is that they have several of my favorites on tap. The guy two seats down is drinking one of them and it looked SO GOOD. OMG… big sigh. I look to my right at my husband, down at the menu, up at the waitress and say, “I’ll have a Sprite please.” Gawd that felt good! Crisis averted. That’s all it really takes for me. Just that ONE DECISION. But man, it was hard. It’s not easy saying no to myself. But you know what? That Sprite tasted amazing and as soon as I took that first sip, I lost all desire for that damn cold beer that staring me down just minutes earlier. And you know what? I’m sure you can guess. That guy nursed that beer until I knew it would be warm and yucky! Me? We finished our meal and got up to be social and that beer was still there. YUCK! LOL I would have definitely finished two and been ready for my third. Like Rd2quit shared, there was a lot of normal drinking going on, but there was also a lot of problem drinking. The top partner came over to us while we were eating and he was already very buzzed and said some stupid things. Then the second top partner gave me **** because I was drinking water when we went over to say HELLO. By that time I had already finished my Sprite, had a cup of coffee and switched over to water because I was so dehydrated from all the work I’d done during the day. I paid a lot of attention to the alcohol aspect of the evening, but I felt great. I felt so GOOD about myself to not be drinking. OMGosh… the relief. When we left, I was proud of myself and was able to be there for my son again as he is experiencing his first broken heart. We got home, I changed into my PJ’s watched one episode of Riverdale and went to bed! I wanted to come into my office and share with you guys, but my dogs were missing us so bad, I couldn’t leave them on the couch! Anyway… that’s my story!
Guys… WE CAN DO THIS! Let’s do whatever it takes to keep going! Keep coming back!
Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way!
ReadyAtLast and Themechanic… Where are you? Please check in! It’s unlike you not to be here. Come back no matter what, you hear? I hate to assume the worst and I always do because when I disappear, that’s what it usually means so if you’re just busy and it’s not “worst case scenario”, please forgive me! I hope you’re so busy enjoying your alcohol-free life that you just haven’t had time! I’ve heard that happens ;)
So back to yesterday. VERY triggery. Lots of hard, frustrating work. I didn’t expect snow removal and taxi’ing to take up my whole day so I was extra tired and frustrated because I didn’t get to the other half of my list. I tried to let it go, but I was SO TIRED. By late afternoon I just wanted to sleep. I tried to take a little nap to a meditation, but the UPS guy ruined that by triggering my dogs! Then my husband came home early and announced a last minute work event we had to go to. I was SO, SO super frustrated. I had to jump into action: touch base with kids, make arrangements, shower and get ready… OH MY! I wanted to send out an SOS to you guys requesting positive thoughts, but I just didn’t have time until we hit the car and then I had text messages I had to reply to. I was sooo tempted. It started while I was showering. Thinking about the upcoming trip and how I’ll likely drink anyway so “What’s the point?” Then I’d think of you guys. And then my oldest son, who has – on his own – decided to refrain from smoking pot and how I’d be letting him down and setting a bad example. The pot story for another time. I really had to do a mental “play the tape forward” because there was NO time to write. What did it for me in the end: thoughts of you guys, my son and the knowledge that if I should drink tonight (last night) I would ruin my entire week and not enjoy Thanksgiving like I plan to. Drinking last night would have likely ensured drinking tonight and possibly tomorrow (to “feel better”) and then I’d spend the first two days of the week recovering and get so behind that Thanksgiving would be overwhelming instead of enjoyable. Um… no thanks. EF THAT!!!
SO… we went to the work thing and… you know, sometimes I worry that what I might write will trigger others so I’m just going to say right now… TRIGGER WARNING! We walked in and the first thing I saw was a bar surrounded by people I knew with drinks in their hands. My throat was dry and my mouth watered. Nope. I’m not going to do it. I sat down and looked at the menu and the first thing I see is that they have several of my favorites on tap. The guy two seats down is drinking one of them and it looked SO GOOD. OMG… big sigh. I look to my right at my husband, down at the menu, up at the waitress and say, “I’ll have a Sprite please.” Gawd that felt good! Crisis averted. That’s all it really takes for me. Just that ONE DECISION. But man, it was hard. It’s not easy saying no to myself. But you know what? That Sprite tasted amazing and as soon as I took that first sip, I lost all desire for that damn cold beer that staring me down just minutes earlier. And you know what? I’m sure you can guess. That guy nursed that beer until I knew it would be warm and yucky! Me? We finished our meal and got up to be social and that beer was still there. YUCK! LOL I would have definitely finished two and been ready for my third. Like Rd2quit shared, there was a lot of normal drinking going on, but there was also a lot of problem drinking. The top partner came over to us while we were eating and he was already very buzzed and said some stupid things. Then the second top partner gave me **** because I was drinking water when we went over to say HELLO. By that time I had already finished my Sprite, had a cup of coffee and switched over to water because I was so dehydrated from all the work I’d done during the day. I paid a lot of attention to the alcohol aspect of the evening, but I felt great. I felt so GOOD about myself to not be drinking. OMGosh… the relief. When we left, I was proud of myself and was able to be there for my son again as he is experiencing his first broken heart. We got home, I changed into my PJ’s watched one episode of Riverdale and went to bed! I wanted to come into my office and share with you guys, but my dogs were missing us so bad, I couldn’t leave them on the couch! Anyway… that’s my story!
Guys… WE CAN DO THIS! Let’s do whatever it takes to keep going! Keep coming back!
Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Well, well, well — hello, Day 5. We meet at last.
I am just starting the Easyway book by Allen Carr. I think the approach is similar to Annie Grace’s book, which I LOVED, but her next book isn’t out yet, so I’m reading this. Then I’ll read Rational Recovery next. I’ll keep reading until it fully sinks in to my thick skull.
The weather here is absolutely perfect today. This used to tempt me to go to a local brewery, sit outside, and knock back a few. Notice the words “used to” — because you know what’s better? Doing ANYTHING else. Why numb my senses when I can hit the outdoors and really BE there. My plan today: long walk, go to the park with the family, then take puppy to the dog park so I can let him tire himself out off leash.
I am just starting the Easyway book by Allen Carr. I think the approach is similar to Annie Grace’s book, which I LOVED, but her next book isn’t out yet, so I’m reading this. Then I’ll read Rational Recovery next. I’ll keep reading until it fully sinks in to my thick skull.
The weather here is absolutely perfect today. This used to tempt me to go to a local brewery, sit outside, and knock back a few. Notice the words “used to” — because you know what’s better? Doing ANYTHING else. Why numb my senses when I can hit the outdoors and really BE there. My plan today: long walk, go to the park with the family, then take puppy to the dog park so I can let him tire himself out off leash.
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