D122y

SR Ohana,

Humbly request insights you have received from your helpers, support, Dr's, Lawyers, Cousins, AA family et al.

I don't mind if you think the advice or observation seems trivial, the main thing is that it meant something helpful to you.

The more the better.

Thanks.

ScottFromWI

What kind of advice are you seeking D112y? We cannot give medical advice here per forum rules, but perhaps if you could be a bit more specific we could help?

D122y

Scott,

I was thinking about trying to capture the...best of the best...go to words of wisdom...like....with every low feeling a high will follow...or....trust the process....

Stuff like that...

I guess if someone gets advice during their sessions it could be considered medical advice....but maybe not...

It really is not for me...more for the group...

I will use any feedback, but maybe others may benefit.

It could be what someone gleemed from an aa meeting or a train ride conversation.

Thanks.

Anna

You might find this helpful:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

RUL23

mariposa

Fearlessat50

My therapist worked with me to accept that no one could take my sobriety from me as Mariposa said. This is one area of control I have. Focusing on the health implications of continued drinking was helpful. I found it fascinating learning that alcohol addiction causes an increase in dopamine but a decrease in dopamine receptors so the dopamine doesn’t have anything to bind to. This is why we are always chasing the high. It made me realize what alcohol was doing to my brain and. question the point of drinking anymore anyway.

I think the main thing my therapist helped me with is just knowing that everything passes in time. Waves crash, clouds pass, feelings and experiences pass. It’s so simple. Why didn’t my parents just tell me that? It’s helpful because I used to drink to escape from a bad feeling or situation not thinking about how it would pass on it’s own regardless of drinking and that drinking would only worsen the problem.

Buckley3

I guess I treat my time with my therapist as invaluable time for me to speak uninhibitedly about things I am experiencing and thinking.

I regard it as a very - perhaps my only - truly safe place to let it go.

Not that I do entirely. But I do a lot. I am still guarded and still feeling out the relationship with my therapist. But I respect greatly and have decided to trust the professional nature of having a place that allows me to explore things about myself without fear.

I find that, for me, nothing much happens directly in the session. It's always a slow and kind of steady growth of ideas and insight in the days/ weeks after that leave me believing it's working and that the process is unfolding.

I give my therapist a lot of credit, she's very patient with me and is for the most part really good about not projecting her own stuff onto me or pushing me in one or another direction. For the most part she pretty much just lets me go and occasionally challenges me or reflects back to me things I've said or done.

She's also been really good at helping me frame things in a different perspective.

Here's an example. One time I was talking with her about the fear I carried around that people around me would see me as that 40 something guy who just got his 3rd DUI, etc. etc.. She told me - and in fact insisted - that I write down a different perspective and carry it in my pocket. I am a 40 something guy who made a mistake like many do, and I have owned the process from the start and have shown in my actions that I am committed to sorting it out and that this one mistake by far doesn't define who I am.

What a difference of perspective eh?

At some point I'll table it all. But right now I intend to continue talking with her because I still feel there's a lot to talk about and I'm genuinely enjoying the growth I believe I'm experiencing and the shift in my perspectives that is happening.

Just the other day I walked out of work smiling. Genuinely smiling. I can't remember the last time I did that. Decades probably.

Hope you find what you're looking for.

-B

D122y

I want fresh words.....a fresh born on date. I learned this from my boss, whom I don't really like but respect.

People love new and fresh. Old ideas spoken in different ways, maybe the same, by new faces.

It works.

Buckley3

I'm a big fan of this too.

I believe there's too much cliche in the world. The same words get used over and over and over and start to lose any relation to something tangible and concrete in the world... they start to lose meaning.

I happen to think it's a big reason why so much in life doesn't feel genuine. And why so many seem to be unable to find a way to get out of abstraction and into meaningfulness...

I have a wonderful best friend who challenges me all the time to be original and find my own unique voice. When he first started saying such things years ago I didn't really understand. Now I realize just how lucky I am to have someone like that in my life...

-B

ScottFromWI

One of the best things I've learned from my counselor is the the concept of "not for me". AKA - the ability to simply let go of the things that I cannot change. Or even better, not engage them in the first place and move on.

This has been very helpful to me both in dealing with my addiction and also my anxiety. I can't really give a concrete explanation of how it works, but on a general if something comes up that i would normally go off on - I think to myself - "Is that for me?" Taking that moment to decide before I react really helps a lot - and when I look back it's amazing how much time I spent worrying about things that were absolutely "not for me".

D122y

Yes. My crave lurks, but I cherish my sobriety. My strength, mental and physical, my self awareness, and my patience are soaring higher than I have ever felt.

It is like being born again.

It has taken this long though and i still feel I am moving upward.

Thanks.

D122y

I so relate.

I work with a bunch of type A folks. They are bright, playful, and love to be under stress and duress.

I consider myself bright, but i am not playful and do not like stress or duress. It took me being sober to realize this.

I walk a different path these days because of this realization.

Whatever it takes.

Thanks.

D122y

I relate sort of.

My wife sometimes corrects me....sit up straight. She used to pinch me under the table sometimes...don't say that. I used to get so pissed at her....stop that!

She was just trying to help.

Sometimes it gets on my nerves and I show my displeasure...I don't mind being embarrassed by a little family spat in public. It is awkward always...but otherwise she will railroad me.

I used to use these frustrations as a reason to drink so they can be a trigger.

My wife is 5 ft 1. I am 6 ft 2. She is not small, she is concentrated.

Thanks.

Guener

As somebody that has suffered through depression for a long time without help for many years (my whole life), my therapist helped me to realize that dark thoughts were something that can be temporal and how to deal with them while I was (am) having those feelings. When I was experiencing suicidal ideation, she helped me to come up with the concept of a box that I could store those emotions in, recognizing them, but putting them up on the shelf to address another time while I tried to reset my thinking. I do the same thing now with my AV, putting the cravings when I have them into that box, and I engage in activities that get me through to the other side, only to think about why I may be having those urges later when I'm more sure of myself, not to dwell upon them while I'm feeling it. It's helpful to me that my therapist is in recovery herself, so we talk about how I'm doing all the time on that front.

Fearlessat50

D122, I’m glad you started this threat. A lot of good insight here. A lot of this resonates with me and gives me more to reflect on as well.
Thank you

I meant started this thred. Not threat. Lol

DriGuy

That's interesting. I was chasing the high toward the end too. Instead of getting happy, I would briefly get that glow sometime into that first drink, but it only lasted a minute or two. The rest of the night was spent trying to get that glow again, but to no avail.

trailmix

lol - that's good!

DriGuy

That was my experience also. I went through a couple years of counseling during college. It was free to students, just one of the perks.

There was only one time I had an insight during a session. It was the first one I had, in fact the first big insight I ever had in my life, and it was a block buster. It put me on an immediate cloud, and I told the counselor it solved my problem and I wouldn't need to see her anymore. Little did I know that insight was just a key that opened a floodgate, and I was about to experience a flood of emotions to follow.

So a week later I went crawling back to her thinking I was losing my mind, and asked for help. All my big insights were preceded by periods of anxiety, sometimes at near panic levels. Eventually, I just recognized anxiety and realized something important was about to surface. But there was always that fear of the unknown of what was about to be discovered that caused the fear and confusion. Oddly, once they surfaced, I would experience elation, even about things I had consciously rejected about myself, because they seemed too contrary to what my ego wanted to believe.

What a roller coaster of a year. Eventually, I was advised to stop digging so deep so fast, and things settled down, but my, what highs I had during those years. I could have done without the panic, but the highs were nothing like I had ever experienced before.

serenitynowplz