wondering if drinking would really hurt
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: salt lake city utah
Posts: 1
wondering if drinking would really hurt
I can't tell if it was because I was sober this weekend, or if I didn't spend time with my boyfriend...but I really got a lot done!
My boyfriend and I usually spend the entire weekends together and he drinks-I drink. I waste my time watching movies with him, or sports I don't even like. We go out to eat and everySunday to breakfast. I haven't been working (I'm self employed and that has been going down the tubes because I'm just not "here" either physically, or mentally I just don't care when I'm with him, or when I'm drunk.)
So I was thinking that since I got all this stuff done, and feel now that I am okay with being alone, that maybe if only I drank at night, that it would be okay.
I am not sure. But I am afraid to find out that I am wrong.
It's just that it's now Monday and the liquor stores are open (Sundays they're closed) and I just feel the urge...quite badly.
I feel so good about all I've accomplished this weekend that I want to celebrate.
I wish I could celebrate in some other way. I deserve to celebrate in a way that won't make me forget how to keep up with my life...even short term...because there is so much to do! Even in my sleep this weekend I solved real problems...things just came to me and I wrote them down...things that have been bugging me for months! If I drink, will I lose that?
Damiana
My boyfriend and I usually spend the entire weekends together and he drinks-I drink. I waste my time watching movies with him, or sports I don't even like. We go out to eat and everySunday to breakfast. I haven't been working (I'm self employed and that has been going down the tubes because I'm just not "here" either physically, or mentally I just don't care when I'm with him, or when I'm drunk.)
So I was thinking that since I got all this stuff done, and feel now that I am okay with being alone, that maybe if only I drank at night, that it would be okay.
I am not sure. But I am afraid to find out that I am wrong.
It's just that it's now Monday and the liquor stores are open (Sundays they're closed) and I just feel the urge...quite badly.
I feel so good about all I've accomplished this weekend that I want to celebrate.
I wish I could celebrate in some other way. I deserve to celebrate in a way that won't make me forget how to keep up with my life...even short term...because there is so much to do! Even in my sleep this weekend I solved real problems...things just came to me and I wrote them down...things that have been bugging me for months! If I drink, will I lose that?
Damiana
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi Damiana,
So it sounds like things went really well on the weekend while you were sober and now that little voice is saying, well, maybe just in the evening. If you're an alcoholic you can't choose to drink sometimes. It doesn't work. I know I tried it, with great determination, countless times and sometimes it would work for awhile, but it never lasted. And, all I did was obsess about alcohol. And, that's the clincher. When you're obsessing about alcohol, you can't think about anything else. So, life just slides by.
I hope you hang around and get to know us!
Love, Anna
So it sounds like things went really well on the weekend while you were sober and now that little voice is saying, well, maybe just in the evening. If you're an alcoholic you can't choose to drink sometimes. It doesn't work. I know I tried it, with great determination, countless times and sometimes it would work for awhile, but it never lasted. And, all I did was obsess about alcohol. And, that's the clincher. When you're obsessing about alcohol, you can't think about anything else. So, life just slides by.
I hope you hang around and get to know us!
Love, Anna
OH SH!T
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: RICHMOND,VIRGINIA-
Posts: 1,655
WELCOME DAMIANA, :hello2
READ SOME POSTS,SEE WHAT OTHERS HERE DO.
I KNOW FOR ME ALCOHOL RULED MY LIFE FOR A LONG TIME.
I SUGGEST TRYING TO QUIT FOR 90 DAYS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO ANSWER SOME OF YOUR OWN QUESTIONS.
IF YOUR LIKE ME,I COULDN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO THAT W/O HELP.
STICK AROUND IT SURE CAN'T HURT!
..........ted
READ SOME POSTS,SEE WHAT OTHERS HERE DO.
I KNOW FOR ME ALCOHOL RULED MY LIFE FOR A LONG TIME.
I SUGGEST TRYING TO QUIT FOR 90 DAYS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO ANSWER SOME OF YOUR OWN QUESTIONS.
IF YOUR LIKE ME,I COULDN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO THAT W/O HELP.
STICK AROUND IT SURE CAN'T HURT!
..........ted
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Damiana,
I suspect that if you go back and read through your post again you just might find that you've already answered your own question.
Nobody can really answer that question for you, you need to find the answer within yourself. I know that, for me, when I drink I am not happy with the results that I get and when I stay sober, I accomplish things that leave me feeling happy and satisfied.
I think I hear some of those same thoughts echoed in your post.
Welcome to SR! Hope you stick around!
I suspect that if you go back and read through your post again you just might find that you've already answered your own question.
Nobody can really answer that question for you, you need to find the answer within yourself. I know that, for me, when I drink I am not happy with the results that I get and when I stay sober, I accomplish things that leave me feeling happy and satisfied.
I think I hear some of those same thoughts echoed in your post.
Welcome to SR! Hope you stick around!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Damiana-- Ted beat me to it (as usual!).
Why don't you quit for 90 days and see what happens. You may discover that you can stop and your life may get more productive and peaceful. You may discover that you can't stop, in which case you may need to get the help that you need and that is readily available. And, hey, since you are on a path of discovery, why not check out an AA meeting or three? There you will find lots of people who understand and share your same issues. The only requirement is a DESIRE to stop drinking. Just being here and asking these questions shows that drinking is a problem. I hope you take action now and save yourself some future misery and grief. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing, OK?
jojo
Why don't you quit for 90 days and see what happens. You may discover that you can stop and your life may get more productive and peaceful. You may discover that you can't stop, in which case you may need to get the help that you need and that is readily available. And, hey, since you are on a path of discovery, why not check out an AA meeting or three? There you will find lots of people who understand and share your same issues. The only requirement is a DESIRE to stop drinking. Just being here and asking these questions shows that drinking is a problem. I hope you take action now and save yourself some future misery and grief. Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing, OK?
jojo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Here was my thinking:
Just at night, just a 6 pack, and only on weekends.
Well, because it's the weekend, I can have a 12 pack.
I ran out of 12, there's more night left, go get some more.
Just a 6 pack during the weeknights.
I had a great day at work, I'll have a 12 pack tonight.
I don't feel so bad in the morning if I just have a 12 pack, so that's OK every night.
And on and on and on....
I am an alcoholic, and there is absolutely no safe way for me to drink. If you feel that you are alcoholic as well, it holds true for you too...
Ken
Just at night, just a 6 pack, and only on weekends.
Well, because it's the weekend, I can have a 12 pack.
I ran out of 12, there's more night left, go get some more.
Just a 6 pack during the weeknights.
I had a great day at work, I'll have a 12 pack tonight.
I don't feel so bad in the morning if I just have a 12 pack, so that's OK every night.
And on and on and on....
I am an alcoholic, and there is absolutely no safe way for me to drink. If you feel that you are alcoholic as well, it holds true for you too...
Ken
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right here.
Posts: 105
Ken,
You sure you haven't been peeking in my windows?
That's exactly the way it worked for me. One little justification here, one little rationalization there, and before I knew it I was up to a case (minimum) every day of the week.
That's the scary part about this disease. It just sneaks up on you and by the time you even start thinking that you might have a problem, you're already firmly in its grasp...
You sure you haven't been peeking in my windows?
That's exactly the way it worked for me. One little justification here, one little rationalization there, and before I knew it I was up to a case (minimum) every day of the week.That's the scary part about this disease. It just sneaks up on you and by the time you even start thinking that you might have a problem, you're already firmly in its grasp...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Originally Posted by subliminalurge
That's the scary part about this disease. It just sneaks up on you and by the time you even start thinking that you might have a problem, you're already firmly in its grasp...
Yup, yup!
jojo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Subliminal...
...a CASE? You're a real drunk... 
Never did a whole case every night, but damn sure tried!!!! Guess I should have started earlier. I could have gone on with that post to include that -- can't drink enough when I start at 6:00, so go home early to drink more.
Boy, glad it's not like that right now. Don't know how I survived or worked...
BTW, the above line is something one of the old-timers in my HG uses when he refers to some folks -- being a real drunk... At some level, if the description in "we agnostics" applies (see my tag line below), then I'm a real drunk/alcoholic too.
Ken
Never did a whole case every night, but damn sure tried!!!! Guess I should have started earlier. I could have gone on with that post to include that -- can't drink enough when I start at 6:00, so go home early to drink more.
Boy, glad it's not like that right now. Don't know how I survived or worked...
BTW, the above line is something one of the old-timers in my HG uses when he refers to some folks -- being a real drunk... At some level, if the description in "we agnostics" applies (see my tag line below), then I'm a real drunk/alcoholic too.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 37
wouldn't do it.....
Well, maybe I would....
but I'm not going to drink today. The time before the last time before the last time I tried to quit drinking, I went a whole week, the first time in....years. I decided to 'celebrate' with a half a case of beer....to make a long story short...I ended up doing drugs that night with total strangers, getting my car towed, missing work the next day...etc.
Haven't you had that feeling now for awhile, that if you're going to get it together FOR GOOD, you have to quit drinking forever??? When you look at the future, do you envision one getting plastered here and there, or do you see yourself clean and sober? How do you think you would be happier?
Jessica
but I'm not going to drink today. The time before the last time before the last time I tried to quit drinking, I went a whole week, the first time in....years. I decided to 'celebrate' with a half a case of beer....to make a long story short...I ended up doing drugs that night with total strangers, getting my car towed, missing work the next day...etc.
Haven't you had that feeling now for awhile, that if you're going to get it together FOR GOOD, you have to quit drinking forever??? When you look at the future, do you envision one getting plastered here and there, or do you see yourself clean and sober? How do you think you would be happier?
Jessica
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