Uhmm....hi?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,971
Sidekick,
Congrats on Day 21! And congrats on getting through last night without a drink. Can you remember what you did specifically to get through that urge last night? Can you consciously praise yourself for getting through that and reinforce the new behavior so it becomes a habit when you feel triggered?
When we are newly sober, it’s important to start forming new more healthy ways of thinking and behaving and coping strategies when life goes sideways.
I’m sorry what you are going through and for your mom’s pain. Nothing will be made better by drinking. Alcohol may give you moments of immediate gratification and relief but hours, days, months, years of grief and problems. Can you allow yourself to sit through intense feelings of emotional pain and discomfort and know that they will pass?
My therapist has told me before to imagine myself riding a wave. Feelings are just like stages of waves. They will always crest and they will eventually break and the ocean will go back to calm.
I have watched four close relatives die. I regret that for the two I was able to be physically present for, I was not emotionally present. Not during their illness and not for their last breath. I was either drinking to numb the pain or hungover.
The only problems that go away when we stop drinking are the ones caused by drinking. For some that is a lot. For me, I was functional as an alcoholic. I had a high bottom. I recognize my life could have been better and is better without drinking. But there are still going to be life stressors and problems and things we can’t control. We can always control our choices, though.
You will eventually get stronger as you get through this time sober. You will be able to look back with pride that you stayed present for your mom.
I hope to see you keep coming here.
Congrats on Day 21! And congrats on getting through last night without a drink. Can you remember what you did specifically to get through that urge last night? Can you consciously praise yourself for getting through that and reinforce the new behavior so it becomes a habit when you feel triggered?
When we are newly sober, it’s important to start forming new more healthy ways of thinking and behaving and coping strategies when life goes sideways.
I’m sorry what you are going through and for your mom’s pain. Nothing will be made better by drinking. Alcohol may give you moments of immediate gratification and relief but hours, days, months, years of grief and problems. Can you allow yourself to sit through intense feelings of emotional pain and discomfort and know that they will pass?
My therapist has told me before to imagine myself riding a wave. Feelings are just like stages of waves. They will always crest and they will eventually break and the ocean will go back to calm.
I have watched four close relatives die. I regret that for the two I was able to be physically present for, I was not emotionally present. Not during their illness and not for their last breath. I was either drinking to numb the pain or hungover.
The only problems that go away when we stop drinking are the ones caused by drinking. For some that is a lot. For me, I was functional as an alcoholic. I had a high bottom. I recognize my life could have been better and is better without drinking. But there are still going to be life stressors and problems and things we can’t control. We can always control our choices, though.
You will eventually get stronger as you get through this time sober. You will be able to look back with pride that you stayed present for your mom.
I hope to see you keep coming here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 3
I was able to make it through last night by baking....lots and lots of baking. Pumpkin bread to be exact. 
All the comments I read on the thread was what sealed the deal for day 21.
I thank all of you. :')
My mother has been admitted to hospice. We had no idea of the massive tumor growing in her chest. Crazy......since she has been in here, her health is diminishing. Smh. I refuse to let her go through this without a SideKick. I refuse to let addiction take advantage of the situation.
Love....Love HARD! Hug your loved ones and keep them close.
All the comments I read on the thread was what sealed the deal for day 21.
I thank all of you. :')
My mother has been admitted to hospice. We had no idea of the massive tumor growing in her chest. Crazy......since she has been in here, her health is diminishing. Smh. I refuse to let her go through this without a SideKick. I refuse to let addiction take advantage of the situation.
Love....Love HARD! Hug your loved ones and keep them close.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
side,
Great job hanging with you Mom while she is sick. That is absolutely the right thing to do if at all possible.
From day 1 until now....I kept busy, ate a lot of sweets, and napped. I had horrible agoraphobia. It was nearly crippling at times.
Sr saved my life. This place has the knowledge base of thousands of experiences ready to offer addiction healing guidance.
Getting through the first several days was like a shiny new pair of shoes. After a while being sober was no longer the new thing to do for me.
I thought I was bored, but it was my av tricking me.
The addictive voice will try every angle you can possibly imagine to get us to drink. The analytical voice has to win.
Thanks.
Great job hanging with you Mom while she is sick. That is absolutely the right thing to do if at all possible.
From day 1 until now....I kept busy, ate a lot of sweets, and napped. I had horrible agoraphobia. It was nearly crippling at times.
Sr saved my life. This place has the knowledge base of thousands of experiences ready to offer addiction healing guidance.
Getting through the first several days was like a shiny new pair of shoes. After a while being sober was no longer the new thing to do for me.
I thought I was bored, but it was my av tricking me.
The addictive voice will try every angle you can possibly imagine to get us to drink. The analytical voice has to win.
Thanks.
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