Newly sober stress
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Newly sober stress
Hi SR group, I have been here for about 17 days and I went through some extreme stress this week. I lost it, ended up drinking. I experienced how drinking will make a horrible situation worse. I was in panic mode, crying, couldn’t feel my hands, like a numb static feeling. On top of a bad situation I got to a very low point rapidly. Lost my bank card and was without bus money even. Drinking in the street at 9 am to calm down. I’m still dealing with the stressful situation but I know I have to get through it sober. If I want to make it through i have to keep my mind clear. I had 3 drinks yesterday to get my nerves calm then just decided to start fresh. The drinks weren’t calming me down just making me more depressed. Learn from my fall, and get back on track. Glad to be back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm glad you made it bnacjk 
Yeah - I've never found a stress that was improved by drinking - only made worse...coming here tho and sharing that stress always makes me feel much much better
D
Yeah - I've never found a stress that was improved by drinking - only made worse...coming here tho and sharing that stress always makes me feel much much better
D
I had to learn to handle stress without drinking. It's hard at first but it gets easier. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland
Posts: 1,631
Take it easy on yourself. It really does take time. That's the good news--and the bad news. There is a moment when you stop feeling the cranking in your nerves. It just stops. Then the stressful situation is just what it is.
I was at a point where everything was a BIG deal. Driving to work...talking to colleagues. BIG HUGE DEAL. These days each thing that happens just happens. Good, bad or indifferent. It's okay. It will be okay.
But not until I was sober for a while. I don't really understand why that is, but it's true.
So, let it happen.
I was at a point where everything was a BIG deal. Driving to work...talking to colleagues. BIG HUGE DEAL. These days each thing that happens just happens. Good, bad or indifferent. It's okay. It will be okay.
But not until I was sober for a while. I don't really understand why that is, but it's true.
So, let it happen.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 116
I can relate. But this thought of yours might be hard by now, but actually helpful in the long run.
How? By not only mentally understanding, but emotionally internalizing, that now drinking would make you more depressed, especially when the numbing effect wears off after some hours. It will cause even more sadness.
That was one of the key factors for me to stay sober especially in such harmful situations. I have internalized this mechanism of my emotions, it helped me later on thinking "playing the tape forward, if you would drink". I imagined the feeling of sadness, kicking in just in couple of hours ... and then I would skip the drink.
How? By not only mentally understanding, but emotionally internalizing, that now drinking would make you more depressed, especially when the numbing effect wears off after some hours. It will cause even more sadness.
That was one of the key factors for me to stay sober especially in such harmful situations. I have internalized this mechanism of my emotions, it helped me later on thinking "playing the tape forward, if you would drink". I imagined the feeling of sadness, kicking in just in couple of hours ... and then I would skip the drink.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are here! Like others have said, we get it.
It was scary and not quite believable at first when people told me it could ONLY be better sober - and that meant anything and everything. Taking that "risk" as it seemed to me then was the best decision I have ever made.
Stick with us.
It was scary and not quite believable at first when people told me it could ONLY be better sober - and that meant anything and everything. Taking that "risk" as it seemed to me then was the best decision I have ever made.
Stick with us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,339
After stopping the drinking I found that my problems looked a lot more tractable than when I was drinking over the feelings. And I had a lot of problems to deal with! Going to some meetings, well lots of them, actually, helped me a lot with that, because I saw other people who had been through as much as I but were doing better, and that gave me something to aim toward. I also got into an IOP program at the time that was useful in many ways. The problems don't just vanish, but they do become more manageable after you put aside the drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Thanks for all the support. I think stress is the enemy to newly sober people. It’s amazing that one person during a long and extremely stressful immigration process has the right to separate loved ones, ruin hopes, dreams.... all within a matter of minutes and without any emotion. However, this could happen to anyone. A car wreck, medical diagnosis, etc these things in life can push someone not so firm in sobriety over the edge into the abyss of rock bottom.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
mariposa, I used to work in immigration and I saw some really sad stories, so hang in there. Keep working at it, there may be a way.
Missy7's post is really good above. In time all the frustrations of life become manageable but it is tough at first. I hope you make this the last time - there is no solution in the bottom of a glass.
See you in the new Weekender thread?!
Missy7's post is really good above. In time all the frustrations of life become manageable but it is tough at first. I hope you make this the last time - there is no solution in the bottom of a glass.
See you in the new Weekender thread?!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 1
I had a similar experience the other day. I was dealing with a very stressful confrontation with my gf( we are both in recovery) and instead of buying alcohol I bought a pack of cigarettes. I had not smoked or drank for 22 days. I felt i was dealing with far too much stress and pressure of too much all at once so I told myself to just quit quitting smoking and just focus on the alcohol.
Well, the cigarette tasted like ****, and when I finished my problems were still there. I'm just thankful I didn't drink, but it was a good lesson to myself that alcohol, nicotine or any other substance isn't going to solve my problems.
Well, the cigarette tasted like ****, and when I finished my problems were still there. I'm just thankful I didn't drink, but it was a good lesson to myself that alcohol, nicotine or any other substance isn't going to solve my problems.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
Thanks everyone. I know the gym and yoga would be really helpful right now but my money is really low. I can’t go into much detail but it’s a white knuckle time. I resolve myself to the only way I will get through to the better days is by staying strong and sober. Much love SR 💛
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