cfrey5666

This is how stupid I am. Had a few glasses of wine at lunch (I have promised that I would not have a glass until 5:00) then decided that I would be so devious that while my husband was alseep I would walk to out club's craft fair (which was heldl in the clubhouse .... with , of course a bar) and had two double drinks, of course in takeout cups. Was toasted when I got home and was issued an ultimatum. That I need to take very seriously. I want to stop, I know what I have to do (just lost 72 pounds), why am I having such a hard time when I see how I hurt others?

Ama

Read the posts - Its a disease of obsession and insanity.....

Keep reading and see if you have a local AA meeting you could attend. Doesnt even matter if you ARE drinking as all that is required is that you have a desire to stop..

I am only off it 5 days.....but with each extra day I am getting abit stronger

Luvs Ama

cfrey5666

Thanks, I was wondering if anyone was out there!While I believe in AA's principles, I'm one of those people who like to incorporate several ways to combat this, this thing. I know that I am bored silly and I think that's partly why I turn to my friend. Daughter in college, son a senior in high school and a husband that travels. Why couldn't I become addicted to needlework!

Cindy

ted

WELCOME CFREY,GLAD YOUR HERE.
I ALWAYS HURT THE ONES CLOSE TO ME ALSO.
POINT IS THOUGH,I CAN'T DO THIS FOR THEM,I MUST BE READY AND WILLING TO DO IT FOR MYSELF.
IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOUR HAVING A HARD TIME
BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ALCOHOL
(PROMISING NOT TO DRINK TILL 5,HURTING OTHERS YOU LOVE,HURTING YOURSELF).
I DO A.A. TO HELP ME FIND A BETTER WAY TO LIVE W/O DRINKING.
GREAT PEOPLE HERE FOR SUPPORT AND HELP.
....................ted

cfrey5666

Well, I do have a good friend that does the program and I talk to her from time to time. I suppose it's about finding a meeting that you feel comfortable in and fits you. I have been to several meetings and it must be dumb luck, but most of the ones that I have stayed for seem to be more pity parties than ways to stay on program. I'm sure that does not encompass everyone or every meeting. Any thoughts?

cfrey5666

Does anyone have a suggestion for the FIRST DAY? I'm assuming it will be among the hardest --

Cindy

lulu70

First, I want to say "Welcome to SR!!!" This is a great place to go to supplement your recovery program. As far as AA goes, there are many different meetings to suit many different personalities. Sounds like you have a very good resource in your friend who already goes to AA. See if you can get a "where and when" (a schedule of meetings in your area) and hit as many different meetings as you can until you find a few you are comfortable with.

Good luck and keep posting!

ted

GET TO AS MANY DIFFERENT MTGS. AS YOU CAN.
LOOK FOR SIMILARITIES NOT DIFFERENCES.
FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS WHAT YOU WANT(LOVING LIFE,SERENITY,HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES)
ASK THEM TO BE YOUR TEMPORARY SPONSOR.
IT'S NOT HARD TO SEE IF YOU LOOK HARD ENOUGH.
12 & 12 MTGS.,BIG BOOK STUDIES,SPEAKER MTGS.,DISCUSSION MTGS.
ALL KINDS OUT THERE.
SPEAK WITH YOUR FRIEND SEE WHAT THEY THINK ALSO.
GODSEED.............ted

Ama

First day advice I got and that was last Wednesday - was to call the doctor but he wasnt available. I was mad mad mad mad mad mad mad.....

But I knew it was the end of the road......so I called my best friend who is 4 years sober and she called around and nearly died when she saw me (told me last night). Told her I really had it and actually realised that Librium and sleepers (what they usually give me) was really only going to take the jitters away and give me a smooth ride.....YET AGAIN!!!!!!

So in my drunken state - somehow - a little voice was screaming from within and said "You have to feel this".

I was scared beyond belief of the DTs so the advice I got was to take in loads of sugar. I did this with alternate glasses of water (detox) and decaf sugary coffee + vitamins that I could hardly even swallow. It worked but it was horrendous.

But I was right; as I know I had to feel it; experience the horrifying pain of this disease; afterall I was inflicting it on everyone else and taking the painfree road myself you see. It is a very selfish disease :-(

Hope that is of some benefit - But I am on day 5 and I am sober and on the road to recovery!!!!

Luvs Ama

DaveFromMPLS

The first day is the hardest only because you mind hasn't changed yet. I'm worked on my first day 4 times last week and I found that being alone, emotionally and literally is the easiest way to slip.

The support here is real. Many people smarter than us all have been there before , many have recovered, and many have yet to do so.

When I decide and you decide that our idol that we worship should no longer be the drugs that control us. then we see that growth in our lives can no longer be stopped, by a substace that becomes the only growth we want.

As a 21 year old I am so glad I am here now. I will never leave because the people here all have a desire to be healthy. Without seeing that everyday I would not recover.

On day 2 and feeling stronger with every word I read here and write here. Get your thoughts out it is extremely helpful to me.

Just my thoughts

Thanks
Dave from MPLS

Anna

Hi Cfey,

Welcome and I'm glad you've found us. There's lots of support to be found here.

For me, I had to purposely do something else specific at the time of the day when I would have been drinking. I would do something that would take my mind off drinking, even if only for a few minutes. I think you can't just stop drinking - you have to change a lot of things in your life, and finding things to do that you find fulfilling can help a lot. I tried volunteering and it helped save my life.

Love, Anna

faithandhope

cfrey -

You can make it - one day at a time...just like we all do. There's an old saying that the person who got up first this morning is the one with the most sobriety.

Keep busy, pick up the phone and call your friends in the program, go to as many meetings as you can in the next few days. I think I went to three or four meetings a day during my first two weeks. And I substituted sugar for alcohol...not good but better than drinking. I told myself that I could have anything / do anything I wanted during my first 30 days...just as long as I didn't drink.

Hang in in there, we are here for you,

faith&hope

Phinneas

cfrey-- Keep reaching out for help and support and you'll be fine. It won't be easy, but you'll make it if you are willing to do whatever it takes to be free of this ugly addiction. Do it for yourself, no other reason is good enough. And, do try as many meetings as you can. Look for similarities, not differences and you'll find all the support and help you need.

Hang in there. There IS hope.

jojo

quercusalba

cfrey -

I wanted to reiterate what people here have said - going to meetings can be a very important piece of the recovery puzzle. Sometimes it really does take awhile to find one that suits you. There is also a group called Women for Sobriety (www.womenforsobriety.org) that I have actually found more helpful in my case than AA. Anything that helps you stop drinking (in a healthy way, that is) is a good thing - you can fashion your own program to suit who you are as a human being in recovery. I think one of the keys for me is that I cannot do this alone. I have told all of my friends and family that I cannot drink - sharing with others lightens the load and also gives you a sense of accountability. That's one of the reasons that groups like AA are such a good thing. If you're bored, do something to get out of your own head - find a place to do volunteer work (soup kitchen, local SPCA, nursing home, children's home, heck - write letters for Amnesty International!). I find that if I put the focus on others, I feel the "need" to drink less and less. You've lost 72 pounds (congratulations) - maybe that means you could get into exercise as a healthy distraction; that's another thing that I do. Hike, bike, run, walk, kayak, snowshoe - get outside and be physical. Take a class. Do something good for *you*. I have been right where you are (sober one month); I too was issued an ultimatum by my husband. However, you can't do it for him - you have to do it for you. And the people above are right - we do hurt the ones we love the most, which really stinks. You can get better too, one day at a time, just like all of us here. Be honest with yourself, be humble... and forgive yourself.

I wish you all the best on your journey.

--anne

mill

Stay busy. Physically running myself into the ground is the only thing that helps me, and I get the added benefit of all that muscle work makes me eventually fall asleep. If I am not busy, I want to pull my hair out and break something.

10 days of "almost" completely sober, for me that is huge. I just cannot stop drinking if I am bored.

Mill