lessgravity

I just recently had an occasion with my friends and family where there was much celebration and, not surprisingly, much drinking. Ironically the celebration was for me. Although I had a really fun time and I didn't feel any real craving to drink, I did feel quite excluded and apart from the party in my name. In the end it was an experience in mindfulness for me - I just tried to stay present, enjoy the moments, see my feelings and thoughts. At one point I almost laughed out loud at some passing old Beast suggestions that, if I was ever going to drink, might have a few now, who would hold it against me. No sir, not now, not ever. Food for thought is all.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I don't like shaming people for feeling shame.

quitin2020

Man oh man oh man.

You have no idea how much the original post in this thread helped me just now.
I am new here and working on sober day 12.
My wife is leaving town for the weekend for a dance competition with my daughter.
These used to be "great" times when I could really blow out my drinking, and not have to worry about hiding anything from anyone. Just me and a big pile of cold beers to drink.

Thoughts have been creeping into my head this morning, that after she is gone, maybe I could just have a "few."
The original post here has slapped me back to reality about my inability to moderate. I am incapable of that, so I must not drink AT ALL.

My plan today is to go see "Ford vs Ferrari" at the movie theater with my son. I never go to the movies but this seems like a great plan to chew up some Friday night hours and keep my mind off of Miller Lite.

Thanks again for this outstanding post!!! SR is really really helpful to check in on when I am having these moments. Posts like this are why it is helpful.

lessgravity

Wha??

lessgravity

Thank you and I'm glad bc I know EXACTLY where you are right now - those weekends, free of family and responsibilities, used to be my times to brutalize myself at the bottle. I also can easily recall, in early sobriety, that they were the times I needed to be most vigilant. Making plans like you are is crucial. The truth is that the freedom, peace and confidence you'll gain when you get through the weekend sober will help you in the future. There is also a level of self-trust that I re-gained (or maybe found for the first time) after my solo sober stretches.

Good on you man. Welcome to SR, this place will get you sober if you work it.

Hevyn

I've always loved this post too, less. A true SR classic, as I've said in the past.
So happy to know it helped you, quitin.

Accord1

I'm not on here often anymore but when I saw this I instantly clicked on it and reread it. Still a good read and brings me back to the old days. Never going back there. An sr classic!!

Donnylutz

I was a "moderate drinker" for over a decade - alcohol may be powerful, but nothing is more powerful than DENIAL!!! I laughed so hard at this - but it is sad too. Thanks for posting it!

Kjma

LG, first time I've read the post-- very Jonathan Swift of you! I see my ridiculous justifications throughout it. Geez!! Thanks for sharing the satire. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal-- and nothing is where I want to be with drinking.

lessgravity

For the first time in a long long time I had a visit from the AV that I actually found myself listening to. These days in NYC have been extremely difficult, personal tragedy, career impact, just the mundanity of this insane place we find ourselves - for the first time I heard the AV say to me that a night of drinking my face off would be a relief, that I deserved it.
It was a passing thought in the end, a mere breeze across the landscape of my mind, but I felt a tug toward it that I haven't felt for a long long time. Like many here, I needed to revisit some old posts of mine to remind myself of the horrid depths I was wading in before I climbed out to sobriety.
Nothing about drinking can serve me any more. It's a relief to take care of myself and protect myself against the horrible places I was before. Thank you SR. Moderation is impossible, it's a mess of a life I've escaped from. Just thinking of the empties again and the anxiety they used to cause me - sigh. That poor drunk guy I used to be.
Here's to chopping wood, and carrying water.

crown86

Your guide to moderation is SPOT ON..too funny and so true glad I saw it

Mamatembo

Funny. Because it's true
Scary. Because it's true.

Well done

AAPJ

Less - sorry things are so awful in the Big Apple. Stay strong.

I just want you to know your thread here is my favorite thread I have ever read on SR. Whenever someone mentions moderation I reply with a link to your thread. Just did it again today.

I am going to lead a meeting some time by reading your original post. Pure gold.

Free2bme888

Bump for my benefit and others!😍

TexanJohn

I’m pretty sure I wrote that guideline! J/k... But I can’t control it any longer. I can behave during the week but come weekend, it’s catch up time!!! 2 days down!

Free2bme888

It’s weird how when I first read this, I had never hid my stuff, nor worried about empties


after drinking for less than 6 months after a over a year of sobriety, this was the case.

lied by omission


went to different stores.

guzzled drinks in secret

it’s awful. Truly awful how quickly one can sink to such levels to poison

Free2bme888

Bump

lessgravity

Owen90 - this thread is for you.

Surrendered19

lessgravity - "My guide to moderation" is one of the best things I've ever read.

Steely

A legend thread lessgravity.

All applies to me for sure. Couldn't help but remember the empties.

I could not stand the sound of them clanking into the bin. The sad voice of a neighbour I did not know saying, "oh, darlin'." Did not even see his face. He spoke from his room, early. A kind man, obviously. But still, the shame.

The shame so great stored the empties in boxes in spare room.

They are no more. And I am sober.

Thanks lessgravity.

Thanks SR.