Notices

My guide to moderation

Old 02-12-2019, 12:32 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
So scary but true, i will re read your post alot. Thank you
Tinkerbeau is offline  
Old 03-04-2019, 09:56 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lessgravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
Bunch of back-and-forth going on regarding thoughts on moderation. I thought long and hard about this concept and decided to bump my post on it for those considering the option.
lessgravity is offline  
Old 03-04-2019, 10:54 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
Evoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 648
This is ******* brilliant. Thank you lessgravity.

Wow.

I'll be referencing this again, to be sure.

I mean, seriously, can we sticky this post?

Wow.
Evoo is offline  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:26 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: MO
Posts: 46
I knew someone was spying on me

Great post!
enginear26 is offline  
Old 03-04-2019, 01:39 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
A true classic - the impact never gets old.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 03-04-2019, 06:50 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
 
tealily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Less, this is brilliant. Somehow I missed it the first time. Insightful, funny/sad, well written and absolutely true!
Thank you for reposting
tealily is offline  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:07 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Oregongirlsite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
Bunch of back-and-forth going on regarding thoughts on moderation. I thought long and hard about this concept and decided to bump my post on it for those considering the option.
Thanks Lg. I will read and reread. I’m stuck in the lie that I CAN moderate. But being truthful I WANT to moderate but CAN’T.
Oregongirlsite is offline  
Old 06-01-2019, 06:08 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lessgravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
Saw a recent post related to this thread I had written. Somethings in here I wanted to remember as well.

Moderation doesn't exist - those who need to can't and those who can simply don't need to.
lessgravity is offline  
Old 06-01-2019, 08:41 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ultramarathoner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Totally me until about 5 years ago.

For those in the heat of battle- I’m sure you recognize it’s not easy. Please also try to recognize that it’s worth it.
Ultramarathoner is offline  
Old 06-01-2019, 08:45 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Member
 
kinzoku's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
Lol not a fan of the clickbait title, big fan of the content.

Needed that today thanks!
kinzoku is offline  
Old 06-01-2019, 09:54 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
Member
 
Oregongirlsite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 176
Caught myself

I read this spectacular post in early March...I forgot I had. Gee, I wonder why. Caught myself as I read the comments.
Oregongirlsite is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 03:52 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
Member
 
PippoRossi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Great stuff right here!
PippoRossi is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 04:35 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 16
Hi Less
Thanks a lot for this post on moderation but I think it is more about being an alcoholic than an alcoholic moderating to any great success but maybe thats the point. I remember you gave up drinking around the same time I started 31/2 months sober last year and you strike me a formidable sober man considering all the socials you have been able to go on. I suppose I am trying to reach out (while drinking) and ask you and others at what point do you decide moderation is useless and decide upon sobriety?
Oleaceae is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 05:51 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lessgravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
Originally Posted by Oleaceae View Post
at what point do you decide moderation is useless and decide upon sobriety?
It's hard to say, and I remember wanting to hear from others the same answers you are looking for, during my days before I finally turned the corner. I think the truth is that I always knew I had to quit, or at least I had to quit in order to live a life worth living.

I look back and I can't believe I lived a life for so long that was in service to alcohol - everything was colored by my need to drink - my fatherhood, my career, my health, my relationships with women, my friends, my family, my money - everything was sacrificed at the alter of my addiction. So when did I decide that moderation/still drinking was useless? I wish I knew man. I think I really knew all along but I lived in a state of permanent adolescence for so long. It was easier, as brutal as life was, just to go on pretending things would change.

But of babble there bro. I can only say that getting sober was the best decision of my life.
lessgravity is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 06:58 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 16
Thanks Less
It sounds like you are not sure but you had the strong need to give up the booze and since then you are so happy for it. You sound so strong in your sobriety and your gains against being drunk. I feel like I am hitting myself again and again, still with a loving wife and a teenage son that is sweet but one day will challenge my habits if it goes on. There comes a time eh?... trying to talk myself into it
Oleaceae is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 07:17 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
Member
 
cangirl69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 5
Fantastic

This is the first time I've read this post and it is spot on the truth. I can relate to every point!! Very well written thank you so much
cangirl69 is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 07:21 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,048
I suppose I am trying to reach out (while drinking) and ask you and others at what point do you decide moderation is useless and decide upon sobriety?
I'm not a good example because I had 20 years of evidence that I couldn't moderate my drinking and I ignored it all until my life was in danger.

My advice to others is to define what moderate drinking is to you. The CDC (U.S.) defines it as

To reduce the risk of alcohol-related harms, the 2015-2020 U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans recommends that if alcohol is consumed, it should be consumed in moderation—up to one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men—and only by adults of legal drinking age. This is not intended as an average over several days, but rather the amount consumed on any single day.

https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-she...e-drinking.htm
For anyone reading, If any of that seems ridiculously low to you or not even feasible you might have a problem.

If you find yourself regularly 'changing the goalposts' on what moderate drinking is for you then I'd suggest it's likely you have a problem.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 06-03-2019, 07:51 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,642
This is such a great guide to moderation that I think I'll just savor it, but never use it
ThatWasTheOldMe is offline  
Old 06-04-2019, 06:25 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
lessgravity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,893
Originally Posted by Oleaceae View Post
with a loving wife and a teenage son that is sweet but one day will challenge my habits if it goes on. There comes a time eh?... trying to talk myself into it
Have you looked into AVRT or read Rational Recovery? I'm not an AA person, though in no way am I opposed to it, and RR was absolutely instrumental in getting me sober.

For me, my family has been the leverage I needed to put down the drink for good. I have a boy who is about to be a teenager and a newborn - it's exciting for me to think that my newborn will never know me as a drinker and that I will be/am able to make up to my son the years I spent in the bottle during his life. There is perhaps no deeper, more meaningful thing that having a family, my wife and my kids, who can look you in the eyes and rely you on in every way. I could not be that person when I was drinking. I am now. A different world. Not always easy, not always fun, but with more meaning and life and peace than I ever, ever had before.
lessgravity is offline  
Old 06-04-2019, 10:17 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by Oleaceae View Post
Thanks Less
It sounds like you are not sure but you had the strong need to give up the booze and since then you are so happy for it. You sound so strong in your sobriety and your gains against being drunk. I feel like I am hitting myself again and again, still with a loving wife and a teenage son that is sweet but one day will challenge my habits if it goes on. There comes a time eh?... trying to talk myself into it
Oleaceae - there is never a better time than now. Promise. Glad you are somewhere in the process of deciding "when" - but it won't get better the longer it takes you to make it happen. Best to you for that now part.

PS - LG, I think I'm going to copy and paste this for one of the accounts I manage for the restaurant groups. Thanks again for the bump
August252015 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:45 AM.