sweetichick

I didn't start drinking at all till I was 24. Then I controlled it till I got divorced. She has rebelled against her father who was way too strict and kept her isolated. She is at uni partying with her new found friends. I pray for her safety. God help her if she is like me, which she is, and thinks alcohol makes her happy and outgoing. I was protected by my parents but she has noone except my stupid ex-husband. I am glad she has broken away from him but it's the wrong path. God help her.

Dee74

I know it must be scary to think about all the bad things that might happen sweetichick but you can't stop her going out - I reckon you can be a good role model though, about the dangers of alcohol and the importance of staying sober?.

D

sweetichick

Good point Dee. No more drinking when I feel like I can't cope. No more slips. I have another daughter who is 17. She could follow the same path. I wasn't a good example. **** did I stuff up their lives. I warned them about drugs but did it really stick. I liked fast cars and excitement. Is it in the genes? I hope not.

Kdon853

My daughter the same 19 yrs old away at college. Taking after me right now , hopefully she picks up her mothers good habits not mine. Hope and pray.

sweetichick

Thanks KD . I will pray a lot. I believe in guardian angels whether they are just deceased relatives I don't know.

entropy1964

My daughter is 17 so I understand the anxiety.

One thing I've learned: She doesn't listen to what I say. She's too busy doing what I DO. That's just the deal.

The most effective parenting is by example. By saying one thing, and doing another,I am creating a world of falsehoods and illusion.

All I can do is stay sober and be there for her. Let her know how much I love her.

Anna

Sweetichick, I hope that your daughter makes good decisions in her life, regarding alcohol. Show her, by example, what recovery looks like.

Meraviglioso

I understand your concern sweetichick, I feel the same way. My sons are only 10 and 8.5 but I am terrified they will end up like me. Absolutely, the only hope I have to parent them and guide them in a healthy way is by staying sober myself. I cannot be living an alcoholic lifestyle and then expect them to behave in healthy ways.

Gerard52

19 and partying like everyone else. Worrying is understandable but your daughter is a different person from you. She may well be like the vast majority of people who party and move on. Best not predict bad outcomes.

NerfThis

There is no guarantee she will end up on the wrong path. My friend's mother was an alcoholic. I used to party with said friend at 19. We're now both 35 and my friend hardly drinks. My mother barely drinks, yet when I was drinking, a lot of those occasions would be alcoholically.

How is your own personally recovery going sweeti? Remember to focus on getting yourself better.

Hawkeye13

SW, being an example of what recovery looks like is the single most powerful thing you can do at this point to protect your kids.

It's hard, but the added benefit is a wonderful second chapter of life for you too.

sweetichick

Thanks for all the replies and reassurences.. I ts great to be able to vent on here and hear others with similar experiences.

Pinky1

My youngest daughter is 21 and very very rarely drinks now (even though she used to) because she told her dad she doesn't want to end up like me.
My eldest has never really drank. I know how you feel, I was worried about my youngest daughter once but now she won't really drink because of how she's seen me. She's had to send her licence up and has lost her passport and her only concern for ID is if she wants to buy a knife! (She's a chef)

DontRemember

Are you still drinking,sweet?

sweetichick

I don't really care if my daughter is out partying. From what I have heard she is acting responsibily. Not getting drunk or picking up men. She is a good role model for her younger sister.

JJ9

sweetichick

Always some negative hurtful response on this forum. You don't even know about the situation with my kids.

ReadyAtLast

I don't think anyone is being hurtful sweeti.

As they say on the plane put your own oxygen mask on first before helping your kids. The best example you can set them and the best thing you can do for you and them is for you to stop drinking. How are you getting on?

MantaLady

Are you drinking Sweetie? I don't see how JJ's response was negative and I believe JJ was trying to be supportive.

This might sound harsh and is not intended to but do bear in mind that you started this thread about your daughter and your concerns she is out partying and drinking to much so it is quite unfair to lash out at people that are only trying to respond to the question you put out there. It is true that no-one really knows about your situation with your kids and if you hadn't posted this inviting and asking for comments no-one would be mentioning them at all.

You seem frustrated, hurt and angry...what is really going on here Sweetie? We do want to support you and we do care xx

hopeful4

Maybe you should have a talk with her that you don't want to control her but that you know she is smart, so you want to do what you can to educate her on the risk. That since she has a parent who is an addict she is more at risk, so she needs to educate herself on the risks so she can keep her drinking in check.

Just my two cents.