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Old 10-31-2018, 10:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Itís been a while.

Iíve been moderating a bit. Moderated today... Not sure why I have been so gone... so gone from here. I reached out for a helping hand and I got what I needed at the time but then I needed more.

Tonight was stupid. STUPID. Not because I did anything bad or embarrasing, or any thing like that... stupid because... was it worth it?

My daughter smelled alcohol on me tonight. Iím sure.... nothing bad... ugh.

Iím embarrassed to post...
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Old 10-31-2018, 10:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
Just livin' the dream
 
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Please don't be embarrassed to post. That is the whole reason we are here. You are hardly the first person to relapse. It isn't the end of the world.

What kind of support do you have? What can you do differently this time? We are always here to support you, but also having some face-to-face support is even better.

Make this the last time you have to start over. You can do this.
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Old 10-31-2018, 11:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
Be of sober mind
 
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Moderating? I thought you quit?

We all know there's no such thing as moderating for people like us.

Weren't you using AVRT? What happened to your BP?

You can do this. Drinking sucks and you hate it. Remember?
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You can resolve to live your life with integrity. Let your credo be this: Let the lie come into the world, let it even triumph. But not through me.
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Old 10-31-2018, 11:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Donít be embarrassed at all. I have yet to meet the alcoholic who got it to stick in the first go. For that matter I donít think Iíve met one who got it on the second. Having a relapse is a moment to learn from and letís you bolster your defenses against a trigger you may not have seen before. A mistake is only a failure if you dont learn anything from it. My mom used to tell me that and it got me through my first few relapses. The people here are so supportive and understanding and we would never take it upon ourselves to judge another addict. If no one has told you this yet today know that I love you and I have faith in you!
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Old 10-31-2018, 11:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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We have all had relapses. Wake up tomorrow and be sober one day at a time. Do you go to meetings, or have a sponsor to work with?
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Old 10-31-2018, 11:42 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome back nowsthetime

I remember even know looking in the mirror and seeing the shame and pain in my eyes. You really truly never have to feel this way again - if you're uo for change?

How about it?

D
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Old 11-01-2018, 04:12 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Glad you shared.

With God willing (so to speak- I know He is) and through my dedicated AA plan, this is my one and only quit. I don't have a relapse in me. That said, I know it would be terrible to have to "come back" and am proud of you and every single person who does.

Do you truly want to quit for good?
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:31 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Sorry to hear. Moderation doesn't exist. If you don't need to moderate you can, if you need to moderate you can't. Never met a person who is an exception to that rule.
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
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There is nothing to be embarrassed about here. **** we all are or have been embarrassed by our actions. That's why we're here.
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:39 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I hope that you decide to stop drinking for good.
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Old 11-01-2018, 02:20 PM   #11 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
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Glad to see you, Nowsthetime - I hope you'll keep talking to us. We care about you.
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A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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Old 11-01-2018, 02:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
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I didn't 'get it' the first time either. Nor the second time... But I kept trying til I finally got it right. Keep trying!
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Old 11-01-2018, 03:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
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hows it going nowsthetime?

D
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