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Old 10-30-2018, 07:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Tired.


Posting here for accountability. I have not been able to achieve or maintain any days without wine at night. It is directly linked to my insane schedule and the fact that I have about 45 minites tops to wind down every night. I understand that I will have more energy, better sleep, and a more positive outlook when I'm not drinking anymore, but that's hard to remember at the end of an exhausting day, when I'm getting ready for another exhausting day and no break in sight. Will try try again tonight and hope for a win.
Hope everyone is well and having a good day/night. Best of luck to everyone!
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Old 10-30-2018, 08:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lipstuck View Post
Posting here for accountability. I have not been able to achieve or maintain any days without wine at night. It is directly linked to my insane schedule and the fact that I have about 45 minites tops to wind down every night. I understand that I will have more energy, better sleep, and a more positive outlook when I'm not drinking anymore, but that's hard to remember at the end of an exhausting day, when I'm getting ready for another exhausting day and no break in sight. Will try try again tonight and hope for a win.
Hope everyone is well and having a good day/night. Best of luck to everyone!
Welcome back lipstuck. A lot of us have insane schedules, but i think it's important to remember that's not the reason we drink. We drink because we are alcoholics and we have issues dealing with life. And as you point out, drinking doesn't help - it makes it worse actually.

How about instead of waiting and "hoping" that you can stay sober tonight - make a plan. Write it down if you have to. You could log in here for example and join in some conversation with others who seek the same thing you do - or some that already have it. Or you could go to a recovery meeting. Or maybe just go for a walk?

Bottom line - if you want sobriety, you can have it. You just have to make it a high priority and plan to do it.
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Old 10-30-2018, 09:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Breaking the cycle is tough, no question about that. With proper planning and a lot of determination it can be done, and once you break free, you will be rewarded in different ways. Wishing you the best.
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Old 10-30-2018, 10:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
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As long as I kept making excuses and rationalizing my drinking I kept drinking.

I get a lot more out of 45 minutes of doing something productive than I did from pouring alcohol in my own mouth.

Going to bed and waking up sober is its own luxurious reward.
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Old 10-30-2018, 06:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Some good advice here that really skewers that AV argument

I think balance is important - if you're working too hard and not getting enough down time there must be things you can do to change that?
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Old 10-30-2018, 06:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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You need a more thorough plan then just ordering a pizza, but in the early days i would get a pizza and a treat and it helped me to break the habit at first
Watch a show you can get into and eat something you love
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Old 10-30-2018, 08:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You can do it. Your schedule will be 100% more manageable once wine is removed. You find time to buy it, drink it, and deal with hangovers, you definitely have time to focus on sobriety. We've all been there...don't believe the lies your AV is telling you.
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Old 10-30-2018, 11:46 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Drinking isn't going to make an insane schedule any less insane, so just try to come up with something else that can relax you. After I stopped drinking I was amazed to notice I felt I had a lot more time, even though I hadn't: it just felt like it. Sobriety will certainly make your schedule more manageable.
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Old 10-31-2018, 03:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Lip I could have written your post word for word! What worked for me was finding something- ANYTHING - to replace with drinking when I was through with work. I went to AA meetings, learned to knit, joined a gym...but there were still days when none of those things were working so I took some melatonin and slept. Yes sleep - do whatever you can to get sleep except drinking. SR is a tremendous help too - even if you only have 5 minutes to check in and get some perspective. Good luck!
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Old 10-31-2018, 03:08 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Lip,

1 hour of sober sleep is better than 12 hours of drunk sleep.

Booze addiction strong. I was pre diabetic when I quit. It has taken over 3 years to heal and I am still healing.

The crave is still present everyday. It lurks.

It is weak now, but in the first 6 th months it was hell on earth.

I ate all the time to resist it. I stayed full. Lots of sweets.

Drinking on a full stomach never worked for me. I always liked to drink on an empty stomach to maximize the buzz.

Insane.

Thanks.
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When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 10-31-2018, 03:46 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi lipstuck!

Glad to see you here. I just posted a list of all those in my May class, and missing you! Was going to PM you to see how you are doing.

Im sorry you are struggling.

I really had a hard time, but I finally stopped making excuses. Nothing made me drink. I actually went and bought it, opened it, poured it. I acted on my feelings. Not good. Was killing myself.

Im in a unique position as a nurse to see alcoholics come in to have fluid drain off their bellies, called ascites. The mortality rate is about 80% within a year. Most have stopped drinking, as by then their swollen tummies and yellow skin are signs of irreversible liver damage that cannot be hidden or excused away..

I pray you make decisions today that honor your mind and body and keep them safe.

Hugs
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Old 11-01-2018, 02:07 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks to everyone for the responses. It's been a frustrating time, but I hope change is coming. I'm trying. I appreciate your support.
Free2b, good to see you! I always feel ashamed to check in with the classmates when so many have succeeded where I've failed.
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Old 11-01-2018, 03:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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SR is about support - don;t let embarrassment or shame keep you from that - we've all been there.

Why not check out the new November support thread - it's just started.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-1-a.html
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Old 11-02-2018, 12:00 AM   #14 (permalink)
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keep posting
support to you
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Old 11-02-2018, 12:19 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I'm only 5 days in, but I can tell you that not drinking plus spending 30 minutes on a home treadmill has improved my sleep and made my brain clearer. The first few nights I had some insomnia, but adding the treadmill has helped a great deal.
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Old 11-02-2018, 02:47 AM   #16 (permalink)
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What about finding a new routine to wind down, something different to look forward to? I've really gotten into herbal teas and find that looking forward to a warm cup of tea at night is quite nice. When I feel like I have some extra minutes to spare I draw a warm bath and soak for a bit while I sip my tea.
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