Feeling sorry for myself
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Originally Posted by fini 
it's friday....how are you doing?
hanging in there?
hanging in there?
feels good! Thank you for asking!
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Originally Posted by DontRemember
I say this jokingly,,,,BUT...this game is soooo boring it makes me want to have a drink. Tis why i'm an NFL fan... 
Hoping ya make it through,OP.
Hoping ya make it through,OP.
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Originally Posted by Newme2018
Hi fini! Hanging in there and feeling a bit better. One of our friends cancelled for tonight so my husband cancelled the get together he planned to watch the World Series game at our home. I felt some relief! The hubby and I are currently watching the game. He's having some beers and I'm having water and being present feels good! Thank you for asking!
feels good! Thank you for asking!You choose not to drink. That's all that needs to be said about it.
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Originally Posted by Fearlessat50
How’s it going, newme?
It’s difficult in the beginning. These are challenging situations. It sounds like you and your husband have been through a lot. I went through some of this. My husband is a normie and even after all this time (sober near two years) I don’t think he’ll ever completely understand. He has gotten better though and is supportive. He has seen me change for the better, and that has helped. We did have a few therapy sessions early on and that helped too. I had individual therapy as well.
I also had to think about what I wanted to tell others about quitting drinking. I even practiced role playing with my therapist. I know it seems silly! My drinking problem was private for the most part and my recovery has been too. I told different people different things. Some I told I was doing the 90 day challenge. After the 90days, I told the same people that not drinking during that time made me feel so much better that I just decided to not go back to any amount of drinking. But everyone is different. Most people in my life know now I no longer drink. But with new people, lately I just say something like alcohol doesn’t agree with me any more, if they ask. Some people prefer to be completely honest about their drinking problem. I don’t think it matters as long as you are staying sober.
It’s difficult in the beginning. These are challenging situations. It sounds like you and your husband have been through a lot. I went through some of this. My husband is a normie and even after all this time (sober near two years) I don’t think he’ll ever completely understand. He has gotten better though and is supportive. He has seen me change for the better, and that has helped. We did have a few therapy sessions early on and that helped too. I had individual therapy as well.
I also had to think about what I wanted to tell others about quitting drinking. I even practiced role playing with my therapist. I know it seems silly! My drinking problem was private for the most part and my recovery has been too. I told different people different things. Some I told I was doing the 90 day challenge. After the 90days, I told the same people that not drinking during that time made me feel so much better that I just decided to not go back to any amount of drinking. But everyone is different. Most people in my life know now I no longer drink. But with new people, lately I just say something like alcohol doesn’t agree with me any more, if they ask. Some people prefer to be completely honest about their drinking problem. I don’t think it matters as long as you are staying sober.
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Originally Posted by Hardinge
People have witnessed me drinking so much and so often that when I choose not to, they're going to know why.
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Originally Posted by Hardinge
Good for you. As for not knowing how to talk with people who will wonder why you're not drinking, I'd keep it light. Just tell them that it hasn't been agreeing with you lately and let it go at that. It's not a lie, and besides, you owe no one an explanation about what you don't eat or drink. It's really not much of a basis for a conversation.
You choose not to drink. That's all that needs to be said about it.
You choose not to drink. That's all that needs to be said about it.
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Originally Posted by Dee74
I think it's good to remember that the healthy response to putting him through stuff is not putting yourself through stuff
You talked and he offered to cancel. I would have taken him up on that - but I understand that you feel guilty.
seeing as you didn't cancel, you need a plan to stay sober - write one out - Can you do your own thing elsewhere in the house Friday night?
D
You talked and he offered to cancel. I would have taken him up on that - but I understand that you feel guilty.
seeing as you didn't cancel, you need a plan to stay sober - write one out - Can you do your own thing elsewhere in the house Friday night?
D
Friday night get together was cancelled, watching the game with the hubs...sober
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Originally Posted by Newme2018
Haha, I'm falling asleep over here but gotta watch till the end! 😬 Thanks Don't remember...im still sober and will finish the night sober
Cool that you made it another day! It gets waayy easier with some time/distance.
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Originally Posted by DontRemember
All I want to do is crash out,but apparently these two teams,who I care nothing about, want me to wait longer....and I'm on the west coast.
Cool that you made it another day! It gets waayy easier with some time/distance.
Cool that you made it another day! It gets waayy easier with some time/distance.
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Originally Posted by Newme2018
Lol...i was falling asleep but caught a second wind. Can you believe it 16 innings?!?! I have some family who are Sox fans and the hubs is a big Dodger fan...im supporting the hubs team
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Originally Posted by DontRemember
Same here..only thing keeping me 'in it'/awake is making fun of my buddies,via video chat, that are at the game and they have a softball tourney to be back for at 8am...
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Good job on last night Newme!
Lots of good stuff above....I would add one thing - at the beginning, I just wasn't equipped to deal with other people's needs, or worry about them being happy or OK....and, truthfully, it wasn't a priority because finding a way to get and stay sober was THE most important thing.
Someone said above "you know best." I'd submit to you that I DIDN'T know best because as AA folks often say, "my best thinking kept me drinking" (there are lots of slogans that are annoying at first, IME, but I came to realize how true they are!). I had to learn what was best, and how to do it.
Whatever program you decide- obviously AA is mine, and it has changed my whole life and given me a platform for way more than not drinking, but for LIVING - most of us with some time in sobriety (and there are lots of wise ones here with a lot more than my 2 yr 8 mo, so listening to Dee and least and Scott, just to name a few, is always a good idea for me!) found and stick to a plan of action.
You can do this- it's Saturday now. What are your plans today?
Lots of good stuff above....I would add one thing - at the beginning, I just wasn't equipped to deal with other people's needs, or worry about them being happy or OK....and, truthfully, it wasn't a priority because finding a way to get and stay sober was THE most important thing.
Someone said above "you know best." I'd submit to you that I DIDN'T know best because as AA folks often say, "my best thinking kept me drinking" (there are lots of slogans that are annoying at first, IME, but I came to realize how true they are!). I had to learn what was best, and how to do it.
Whatever program you decide- obviously AA is mine, and it has changed my whole life and given me a platform for way more than not drinking, but for LIVING - most of us with some time in sobriety (and there are lots of wise ones here with a lot more than my 2 yr 8 mo, so listening to Dee and least and Scott, just to name a few, is always a good idea for me!) found and stick to a plan of action.
You can do this- it's Saturday now. What are your plans today?
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Originally Posted by August252015
Good job on last night Newme!
Someone said above "you know best." I'd submit to you that I DIDN'T know best because as AA folks often say, "my best thinking kept me drinking"
Someone said above "you know best." I'd submit to you that I DIDN'T know best because as AA folks often say, "my best thinking kept me drinking"
I wouldn't be overly conversational with visitors about why I wasn't drinking.
But that's just my nature concerning things like this. Maybe she's different and has reasons to be.
That was the purpose of my "You know you best" statement.
You'd need to read my posts leading up to it to understand the context.
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