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Hi all - first post, so I met this guy a little over a year ago...I'm 31 and hes 42. Hit it off so well. He told me he was in recovery with 4 years clean. I kind of bypassed it...I'm not in recovery nor really knew anything about the disease up until about now. We have been dating a year. Nothing, but the best time. Great, caring, loving, amazing guy...heart of gold. My family loved him and was SO happy for me. He left his apartment and moved in with his mother (she uses) for a little bc he was looking for another place. We were suppose to move in together. He told me he was getting a place, but it was a lie bc he had relapsed...he relapsed when he went to his mothers. He confessed the trigger. I was all packed up & devastated...he checked himself into a detox and right after detox he went to a treatment center for 30 days. Now he is back at work..jumped right back into AA attending 2 meetings a day and living in a sober house. He can't believe what he did. He's ashamed, embarrassed. My parents are frightened. They don't want me with him. They want me out if I chose him, but I feel with in time...they will see and he says thats all he can do is just keep moving forward in the right direction. I completely understand my parents. I would feel the same, but again is it crazy to have faith in him? He's done it before. He knows he has to come back 10 times harder. He has too much too lose. He's a business owner, he wants a life with me. I know I'm powerless over the situation, but I truly love him and he truly loves me. I still live at home...it's hard to afford my own. He knows I need my own space and while he gets himself together he says hes putting me in an apartment. Everything under his name. He knows and wants to build the trust back up. If you could hear him speak...there is much more, but maybe I'll continue later. I know there are many successful relationships as well. I'd appreciate any type of advice.

Think long and hard about whether or not you can go the distance with an addict trying to recover. The top priority for the rest of his life is going to have to be recovery in order to stay clean. That means before anyone or anything else. Including marriage, family, career, etc. Can you deal with that? And what if he slips again? Can you watch him try to recover again? I'm not saying any of this to scare you. But to make you aware of what you very well may be facing going forward in your life with this person. Read around in the friends and family sections. You'll get an idea of what it can be like real quick.
Hugs to you.

If you can't deal with him relapsing again, I hope you give it more thought before you move into an apartment that he is paying for. Is there any way that you can move out on your own financially or maybe have a roomate? That way, you would have the safety of your own place.

Absolutely. I'd prefer to not have a roommate. I said I would get a second job even though I already work full time to have my own and he said there's no way his woman will work two jobs. That he would help me financially if so. I sent my mom a text with a pink heart yesterday bc that's our things. No reply..I went in and said hi to her last night...I was ignored. I understand shes upset and angry and would rather not say anything, but its so uncomfortable. I wish everything was okay. I told him I must detach myself for a little while he gets himself together and with all that I could come too. I am an adult and willing to give a chance bc I feel he has it in him & if he messes up I'd be gone for good. I know its an everyday battle for him to fight his demons...he has a new sponsor. I know its only been a month clean after his 4 years, but I'm proud of him..knowing I'm powerless over the whole situation I feel empowering strength, but I'm stuck...