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Old 10-21-2018, 01:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hello all. Probably like many of you, I am here because abusing alcohol is not working for my life. I am a married, working mother of three children between the ages of two and eight.

I've spent the last 10 years turning to alcohol to avoid my feelings, to forget my pain and sometimes just because I was bored. I've made a lot of changes to my life recently so I can be healthier and happier. In addition to changing my job, returning to church and dieting and exercise, I've been trying to cut alcohol out of my life.

After I was raped two years ago, I started using alcohol almost every day off and on. I think I was drinking at least a bottle of wine - maybe two on the days I could get away with it. My drinking has caused problems in my marriage and my eldest is starting to understand what is going on.

Over the last month, I was able to go two weeks without drinking then one, then another one. While I've been proud of that progress, what I am doing is still not healthy because I know I'm doing it so I don't have to deal with my feelings.

So you're probably thinking...has this woman tried therapy? Yes, in fact, I was in therapy for a year. I made a lot of progress - it's the reason I made some tough life changes. But I hit a wall. It seemed like my therapist and I covered all of the topics I am capable of talking about face to face with another person even though I know there is a lot more to cover.

I thought if I found a truly anonymous place to chat with people who understand this addiction, perhaps we could help each other.

I am so grateful there is a place like this to talk and I'm looking forward to growing here and maybe helping others too.
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Old 10-21-2018, 01:41 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome, Sarah - I'm so glad you found us. This is a wonderful place for encouragement & friendship.

I'm sorry for what you've been through. It's understandable that drinking seems like a way to deal with pain. For years I thought I was making my life better by using it as a way to cope - but I found myself completely dependent on it. I was no longer able to make good choices or function normally. Your decision to get free of it is a wise one - and we're here to help.
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Old 10-21-2018, 01:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you Hevyn.
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Old 10-21-2018, 01:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome to the family. I found the support here very helpful in staying sober.
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Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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Old 10-21-2018, 01:50 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome Sarah;

I have found this is a very good place to share what I can't share IRL.
We understand, and many of us drank to drown out feelings and pain.
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"There's almost as many terms and gradations for drinkers like us as there are stars in the sky.

All the study in the world - and all the subjective hierarchies - won't get people sober. . .

Only action can do that."


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Old 10-21-2018, 02:57 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Sarah, I'm very sorry for what happened to you.

You have found a very safe and welcoming place to visit for support.
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Old 10-21-2018, 03:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Really nice to meet you Sarah
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Old 10-21-2018, 06:50 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome, Sarah! I understand the working mom conundrum, where alcohol initially "helps" us cope until it eventually turns on us. Add your personal trauma to that situation, and I can only imagine how hard it was. The good news is, sobriety is great and there are lots of people here to help you.
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Old 10-21-2018, 08:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR Sarah
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Old 10-22-2018, 03:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
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So glad you are here! I have past trauma too, like a lot of us, and it takes time (and for me, total sobriety for sure) to heal.

Stay with us!
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Quote:
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Old 10-22-2018, 05:05 AM   #11 (permalink)
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S,

When I was drinking off and on that is called binge drinking.

It is as bad, or worse, as daily drinking when it comes to kindling.

Mixing binge drinking, exercise, and low calorie intake is how i nearly crashed my car due to panic attacks or something.

My son was with me once when I had to pull over several times in a 5 mile stretch. It was terrifying.

I made it this clean by suffering through the hellish craves. When my av would tell me...you have been good, have a drink...that is when the hell ramps up.

For us addicts, you included, every occasion is one to drink.

Welcome. This place saved my life.

Thanks.
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D122y

When I crave I think of the next day after effects:

high blood pressure, sleep issues, strength loss, immune system compromise (sick).

BpSSS. My mantra.

Studied "alcohol kindling" and "alcohol PAWS."

Last intoxication: 8 May 15.
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Old 10-22-2018, 07:29 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Welcome Sarah...here for you big hugs ❤❤
cara x
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