ulfr

its been weeks since av been here
i got back the hating the fact i exist started to dress female because i wanted to be saved made a public fool of myself wearing make up and female jewelry feel confused with weather am male or female
my husband says am happier male and should be male Christians online saying am sinning letting them get to me they believe i have demons controlling me am not listening to it anymore i need here my friends who will love me for me no matter what

my pastor is unavailable at the moment because of illness normally i would talk to him kinda feel abandoned by my ex sponsor looking for another one going back to meetings again 3 a week as my husband feels
its a balance my husband also had to take me there and back and spend money sitting some where while am there as there is no point him going back home he will not sit in meetings ... and am going to be here more and listen to the right people

Eddiebuckle

Welcome back Wolf, I'm glad that you're here. You have a lot on your plate - I would suggest that you be patient with yourself, we can only take on so much at once. Focus on a couple of things at a time so you don't get overwhelmed. Seems to me that sobriety is probably one of them, and the other would be talking with people you trust to get clarity on your gender and how you express it. In my mind, God makes no mistakes and you were born with the gender identity you have. The fact that some Christians can't understand your situation does not give them the right to pass judgment.

Please stay in touch and take care of yourself. As the Big Book says: "progress not perfection", and "more will be revealed." Good luck!

Dee74

Is this that same 'christian' site?

I really think you need to stop going to that site and speaking to those Christians....they have nothing good to offer you only self hatred and warped ideas about the message of Christ.

Be whoever you want to be WolfsChild.

I am sure that a loving God does not want you to suffer.

I am glad you're going to meetings

D

Atlast9999

Anna

Wolfschild, as Dee said, try to stay away from the so-called Christian website. Be who you are, whoever that may be. Be true to yourself and try to be comfortable about it. Pay no attention to what supposed Christians are telling you. It's your life.

least

They don't sound very 'Christian' to me. I'd avoid them.

Hevyn

I agree, WolfsChild - that site is only causing you hurt & confusion. Be you.

ulfr

the happiest i feel is when am male and am with my friends its my ocd that makes me want to go in the christian forums because its religious ocd and i get thoughts that want me to be negative and low they say am going to hell and i go in the forum for help religious help i need to be reassured all the time i get triggers that also dont help like christian music but then i feel bad for not playing them and listen to the devils music eg gay or rock music but i am happier with other music

Dee74

Go with what you're happy with - it works for me.

If you feel an urge to be religious maybe there are other positive christian sites you could visit that won't make you feel bad for being you?

D

tekink

Matthew 7:1-5 is really all that needs mentioning here.

Verdantia

I am glad you're back, WolfsChild. I am a Christian too and my god isn't a god of vengeance or hatred ; my God does not discriminate and is the essence of love and mercy. He created us all and wants us to be happy; my God is not vicious nor punishing but a being of ultimate forgiveness and understanding.
I urge you to find another Christian website; the one that is causing you such pain sounds very doctrinally suspect to me and is doing you no favors in your recovery. You are perfect in Our Lord's eyes--please remember this.