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Old 10-16-2018, 12:36 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Five and a half days sober...


My journey is back on. I drank every day for the last twenty-three months. I was depressed, anxious and wine was my sedative. Then, I began drinking hard liquor (straight) when I had finished the wine. I was drinking because I was afraid that I would run out of money in my old age. I have also been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, but it is well controlled with medication and I pretty much can do anything! As for my finances, I am still working on ,y first million, but expect to get there as I am going back to work at what I love, and it pays very well, too.

I actually wonder sometimes if some of the symptoms I have are related to the two-bottle of wine a day habit and not PD. Well, if I can stay sober, time will tell. Work is a great distraction, as is reading and walking seven kilometres with my dog. It's not a problem at night, the cravings are gone and I sleep pretty well.

Unlike many alcoholics, I did not have a nightmare withdrawal. The sweats and the nausea were the worst I experienced.

I am secular, so the twelve step program won't work for me, It's just nice right now to have this forum of recovering persons who. Have been there. For those just starting their journey, I wish you courage. At sixty-five, I hope to be able to resist the urge to start again.
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Old 10-16-2018, 02:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome Rustoleum,

You've made a great decision and good job on 5 1/2 days! Long walks, still a daily ritual, really helped me a lot in the early days.
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Old 10-16-2018, 02:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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5-1/2 days is wonderful, Rustoleum.

You are never alone - you have us to cheer you on. This is the best place ever for understanding & encouragement.
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Old 10-16-2018, 02:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Glad you were able to safely detox after drinking for so long. Also glad that you've found some resolution to your financial woes. A clear mind can get you a long way.

Keep posting here and stay on track.
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Old 10-16-2018, 02:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome Rustoleum Way to go on 5-1/2 days
Make is 6-1/2
You can do it
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Old 10-16-2018, 04:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome rustoleum

D
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Old 10-16-2018, 09:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Glad you are here.
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Old 10-17-2018, 08:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hello, all, and thanks for the kind wishes.
Yes, it's day 6.5 and I feel physically amazing, even with PD��

I can now brush my teeth without gagging and retching, and I am eating properly.

I am SO SCARED that after about thirty days, I will tell myself that I can have just one....how naive is that?

That old cliche "One day at a time". That is my mantra right now.

You cannot imagine how much your good wishes and support mean to me. Wish you could all come along on my dog walk. Rusty thanks you for caring about his MOMMA.
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Old 10-17-2018, 09:11 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Welcome Rustoleum
Congratulations on your 6.5 days of hard earned sweet sobriety!
It is quite tempting to pre-empt a future relapse, especially if that has been your pattern of attempts at sobriety to-date.
So yes - one day at a time!
I would recommend diving into as much recovery material as you can right now as you are getting mentally stronger and everything you can do to strengthen your commitment to sobriety is time well spent.
Like you I too have a secular approach but I would say keep an open mind and leave no stone unturned in your quest for long-term sobriety. We are after all saving our lives here.
Planning and preparation too are incredibly important. You will know from experience the situations when you may be vulnerable to temptation. In those situations you need a rock solid plan.
For example Friday nights were horrendous for me for a few months. I had a plan to keep me safe (a little like a house arrest to be honest) plus I would read recovery material and watch YouTube videos on advanced alcoholism to keep the fear alive once the memories of my own addiction began to fade.
Another area to consider is a list of things to do when the craves hit - because in all likelihood they will. I had things like eat a meal, down a pint of water, go for a walk, have a hot shower, cry, call my sister etc etc...…
Just one last thing that came to mind too. Please don't despair if you feel like it is taking a very long time to get through the worst of the cravings etc. Y ou are on your own unique journey and it will take as long as it needs to. I personally have so much pride looking back that I didn't cave in even when I was growing sick and tired of the fight. It was worth every tear shed and life is so much simpler and meaningful without the dreaded poison.
Take care xxx
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Old 10-18-2018, 02:27 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Welcome. Love your screen name. After a year of sobriety perhaps you can paint up the town to celebrate? Alcohol free of course.


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Old 10-18-2018, 02:57 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Good going, Rusty!
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Old 10-18-2018, 04:10 AM   #12 (permalink)
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still sober...seven days in��
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Old 10-18-2018, 04:17 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Congratulations. You are doing it !!! Fantastic.

Very good advice above from joandmeland.

And think of all the money you are saving by not buying booze.

Keep at it , you CAN do it. Just get today done, and think about tomorrow when tomorrow arrives. I feel so great every single night when I get into bed sober and think < I did it today !!

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Old 10-18-2018, 06:17 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Keep going Rustoleum! You're worth it!
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Old 10-18-2018, 04:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
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congrats on your week
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Old 10-18-2018, 05:19 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Congrats and welcome Rust. Lots of secular sober people here, myself included. Looking forward to seeing you around.
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Old 10-18-2018, 05:30 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Be proud of those 7 days - we know how rough it is in the beginning.
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You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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Old 10-18-2018, 07:03 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Congrats on the first of many sober weeks. Keep going, it gets better.
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Old 10-18-2018, 08:17 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR and congratulations on your decision to live your best life! I am fully secular as well, but do find AA to be quite beneficial. Some meetings are more “modern” than others (in that I mean less God/Him). Took awhile to find that meeting, but so glad I did. Good luck !
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Old 10-18-2018, 08:49 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Congrats and welcome Rust. Lots of secular sober people here, myself included. Looking forward to seeing you around.
Ditto!!

Welcome! A whole week!! So awesome!!
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