SurvivorK

I am beyond grateful... I have tried for over and a year half to have some sobriety again, after 6 years of sobriety ended Jan 2017. I thought I could finally drink like a normal person. So so WRONG! I found myself in a place where I could not string together more than 30 days.. and that was rare, most time 3-4 days is all I could go. It wasn't just wine anymore, it was vodka, gin, all of it. Anything that could give me that buzz. Sense of relief I thought.

I am thankful I had the monthly groups, they were so supportive. I started in March, and finally in August it clicked. I drank myself silly in front of dear old high school friends, made a fool of myself in front of my husband and then came home to my kids seeing their mom relapse again. I was done. They were done. And today 84 days later, I am working on staying sober, being grateful and not letting it control me. It is so cunning and baffling, it just grabs a hold of you without remorse. I tried apologizing to my friends and unfriended those who couldn't understand.

I Keep going, I'm 46, happily married, mom of two daughters in college, financially sound, have a good job, beautiful home, have faith in my life, but this disease of alcoholism wants to take all that. I won't let it. I won't. One day at a time.

Feeling blessed in the Midwest!

adenough1

Congrats! I’m on day 71 and you’re so right, it’s very cunning and you have to be continually on your guard. Keep up the good work and hopefully I’ll be in the 80s soon to.

August252015

Awesome! Thanks for sharing- keep going!

MantaLady

Great to hear from you again SurvivorK!! Congrats on nearly 3 months!

Purpleman

Yeah, that 90 day mark was a big early goal for me. Well done on heading in the right direction SurvivorK

Free2bme888

Hi survivorK

I have missed you and So Glad you are back!

Keep up the great work

Atlast9999

Awesome news!!! Congrats!

SurvivorK

Hi MantaLady! Yes I am 91 days today and feel so great to be here. I cannot believe I am doing this, it's so unimaginable. I am excited now to get to the triple digits, 100 days. ! 100 days seemed so out of reach just 6 months ago. And I'm doing it for myself. I don't feel the support I once did from my husband, like it's expected of me, yesterday he was like congratulations, 90 days that something to be proud of. And that was it. I guess too I expect too much. I was thinking he would have a card, gift, something to mark the day, he's the only one who knows. Other than this site. But I have to realize it's about me, and my desire to be sober and have a passion for living again. I'm getting there!

How are you? How have things been since leaving Thailand and treatment there? I will be on the site more, my daughter is done her sporting activities and I will have more free time to spend on my recovery efforts .

Wishing everyone well! If I can do it, you all can!
Kathy

SurvivorK

Thank you Free2bemee, it feels good to have some longer term sobriety. A lot of day 1s. So anyone who has a lot of day 1s, know you can string some days together. Once I was able to move past the 2 week mark, the cravings lessened, I had a glimmer of hope. The anxiety settled more and more, 30 days, wanted me to get to 60 and I'm praying - more than I ever have that I'll have the strength to stay the course. I'm remembering weekends again, I'm looking forward to waking up feeling good and not have that shame. No hiding, no planning, god that's so exhausting. How are you? What are you doing to stay AF?

PalmerSage

Way to go! You sound super happy and like you are READY this time.

Dee74

wow congrats survivor K

D