Birthday
 

It’s my birthday weekend and of course the gang wanted to get together. Most are my old drinking buddies, hubby’s current drinking buddies. A couple are good friends of mine, who also happen to drink.

We went to a bar because I didn’t want the party at my house. I didn’t drink. I ate dinner, drank pop and water, and actually had a fun time, until the end.

I was ready to go and of course the drinking buddies wanted to come back home with us and keep the party going. I told hubby he could do whatever he wanted but I would be going to bed. He realized thankfully that was a bad idea and told them no.

That’s when two of the drinking buddies called me over and told me that I really needed to start drinking again because I am way to lame.

I just walked away. Hubby spent some time still talking, apparently smoothing things over. I’m just so very annoyed.

I know they are my former drinking buddies and and I should have seen this coming but until now they have been respectful of my choice to not drink.

I’m just annoyed. Slightly hurt as to where I stand in their eyes, even though I know it’s their issue, not mine.

Ugh! That is all.

Happy birthday!

While it was rude of them to make that comment, especially since they don't know what your relationship with alcohol was like, I don't think you should take it personally. Many of us have said things we didn't mean while drunk, not considering the feelings of others. Rise above.

You should be proud of the fact that you stayed sober where many others would have given in to temptation. That shows dedication and strength. Keep the big picture in mind: your health, your sobriety, your wellbeing. You're doing great.

Happy birthday.
They are only drunk words.
Little do they know that living life means staying sober.
The drink brings a certain ugliness out in the way it makes people treat their fellow neighbours. Some call it banter but there are boundaries.
Well done for sticking to your guns.
Ps, they will probably feel guilty and anxious for what they said if they have a conscience. That’s if they remember.

Happy Birthday atlast :)

comments like that hurt me too - but I soon learned to recognise the source - m,ay mates were living the life of 14yos and they had the values of an 14 yo -and not a particularly smart one.

I'm sure that 14 yos - whether literal or emotional - find me lame. that's the way it's meant to be lol

Its nothing to lose sleep over.
I'll stick with adulthood :)

D

Happy birthday! Like everyone has said don't take the comments to heart, just let it go and be proud of who you have become. We all said things when drinking that were insensitive and they are still in the grips of the illusion that alcohol is fun. You have broken free and are doing great! Keep it up and be strong! x

Hurtful, but unfortunately many of us find people fall by the way when drinking is taken out of the equation.
Some feel threatened- or just do not like it when others do not do as they do.
Keep up your sobriety, go to meetings and share- perhaps the only place you will find people who truly understand.

Support to you.

Happy Birthday Atlast!
Try and not let this get to you. This was the "drunk" in them talking. It is way easier for them to feel that "everyone" is happily drinking rather than having to see that maybe it's not really all it has been hyped up to be.
Call them in the early am and ask if they would like to go for a walk/run. Probably would have to leave a message. (only kidding about the calls)
Be happy with yourself and take care of yourself. Not lame, just better educated about what brings peace and happiness.

Thanks everyone. I’m going to let this one roll and keep on keeping on.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am proud of you for handling it the right way. Drinking is definitely their burden not yours. Remember when you used to drink? Well, if you were like me, I used to be your friends. I wouldn’t take it too personal, they were just doing what drunks do lol. I am glad you are where you want to be today and are moving forward to a better (no hangover) tomorrow. Feliz Cumpleaños!!!!!!!

~Dee

Happy Birthday Atlast! Great job last night. You gave yourself the best gift ever! Nothing lame about that.

Happy Birthday!

Drunk people sure can be annoying. When people say things like that it's probably a sign of their own issues.

Drinking buddies are drinking buddies.

Do they have any other redeeming qualities?

Because if they are just drinking buddies, I think you know what to do.

That's what really pissed me off when I quit. I was never the "come'on drink!!" to people that had stopped. I instead congratulated them on doing something that I so wanted to do myself. BUT...When I stopped..there were "congrats!" at first and then the "but..why?? what about us?" nonsense started..looking back now they just didn't want to seem 'that bad' and also the 'free party' that came when I drank was going away. I don't miss those "friends" at all.

Happy B-day!!

Happy birthday Atlast

I sometimes wonder if people who make comments like that do so because they feel uncomfortable about themselves in the presence of someone who can have a nice time without drinking. In other words, it says way more about them than it does about you.

What a rude thing to say to someone at their birthday... but then drunk people are awfully rude sometimes. Maybe for your next birthday lose their invitation.

Happy birthday and Congratulations on staying sober, which is totally not lame at all!!

That was my 'take' on it when I was stopping..including my exAgf..it was 90% projection and 10% jealousy by my math( I'm horrible at math LOL),but I know when I was seriously starting to apply the sober 'brakes' and speaking with some friends who were sober, that seemed to be the consensus.

HBD.

The world doesn't necessarily adhere to our decisions or ways of life - whatever they may be, sobriety, diet, religion, political party, sports team, car color, etc. I don't mean to make light of your friend's reaction or its effect on you - but I also think that we make too much sometimes of what others say and do about our not drinking.

You deserve better of course, but we don't always get what we deserve. Nice job on keeping it moving and thank you for sharing. More important - happy birthday!

I graduated from my drinking buddies and devolved into a lonely drinker, but if I ran into one of them and they did this I’d be irked too. Congratulations on making it through!

Happy birthday! Honestly, I would steer clear of these folks for a while. It sounds like your husband is supportive and understanding, which is great...no need to put yourself in situations which unnecessarily upset you, especially when you are doing something so positive. :)

Agreed. I haven’t been to a bar since I stopped drinking and only went so we didn’t have the party at our house. Hubby’s an alcoholic drinker so we are with these people a lot - although less than when I was still drinking. I won’t be going back to the bars anytime soon!