On Day 4
 

Things did not go well when my separated husband moved back in, and I ended up drinking with him. I asked him to move out, and he did. Our divorce will become final on 2/9/19. He told me he doesn’t want to be divorced and be alone. I don’t want to be alone either, but I know it’s for the best. It’s a sad situation. I’m on Day 4 and want to stay sober because my life spirals downhill when I drink. I’m using AA and Lifering and here for support. It’s tough being an alcoholic, but I realize that this is just one of the cards I was dealt.

I'm glad it didn't take too long for the realization to hit.
Work on you, it's not a death sentence rather a life!

sorry the getting back together didn't work out.

D

Thanks. It's actually a huge relief that he's gone. He was working a 5 am shift in the morning that screwed up my entire sleep schedule since I am a night owl and sleep in. Also, I never would be sober today with him always drinking around me. And he was so irritable and angry to live with. There is still that loss since we were married 8 years, but the good years were in the beginning. The last few years were torment when he was using meth and drinking, and I was trying to stay sober. I can relax now and work on becoming my own best friend.

Sometimes you have to do what's best for yourself. Drinking/drugs combined with a rocky relationship while trying to stay sober is rough. I've been through it myself. You can't fight another person's demons while battling your own.

As time passes and you develop more sober time, you know you will be able to look back on this as the right decision. Never let the fear of being alone drive your decisions.

It’s interesting though because for the first time in months I finally feel that I am grieving and healing from this relationship, which is also making my sobriety a bit easier.

Overall feeling okay today. Didn’t go to a meeting but instead treated myself to some Botox and online shoe buying. I’m tired and going to bed.