2 years today!
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
2 years today!
I started drinking when I was 15 yrs old, 47 now, and it was always a part of my adult life. Same old story really, started drinking on the weekends, progressed to sometimes on the weekday, and then to everyday. The amounts went up and up. Drinking was my best friend for a long time but when I turned 40 it turned against me and started to cause problems for me. More on how I felt on the inside then with my personal life. I turned into a person who was trapped in a viscous cycle of living to drink. I began to dislike who I was which caused more drinking.
I woke up today 2 years ago, hungover as usual, but that day, for some reason, I was laying there and I thought to myself I need to stop this. I said this to myself many times, but for some reason I thought if not now then when? To be honest, I couldn't think of an answer or a time where their would be a perfect opportunity to quit. I was SO tired of feeling how I felt. I figured quitting can't be any worse then how I felt, so I got out of bed on Oct 12 2016 and quit.
Well I thought that everything would magically get better. I would return to my old self, whatever that had been. I didn't. Physically, I was feeling better, but my mind wasn't right. Looking back I think I was afraid to face life without alcohol. I mean my whole adult life was with my best friend and now she's gone. I don't think I knew what to do.
I was nervous all the time, I couldn't think straight, and just a mess. I was really lost and didn't know what to do. I have always been a self fixer, probably why I drank so much ironically, but I took to the internet to try and figure out why I felt this way and I came upon Sober Recovery. I found a post about PAWS and it pretty much encapsulated everything I felt. It made me feel relief to know that other people felt the way I did and were able to make it through.
I posted some, and still do occasionally, but I mostly read about others successes and failures. The mostly unknowing support I received from all of you helped me to get where I am today. I don't know if I could of kept fighting if it wasn't for the information and support I received from this place.
I found that I didn't need anyTHING to fix me. I had to work on myself. I started meditating and exercising,which really helped. Most of all I did a lot of self reflection and was honest with myself and the people closes to me about why I drank. It took a lot of work and time but things are getting better and better.
For those of you who can relate to this just remember. Drinking will never give you the peace you are looking for. I thought it would and it did for a while, but it will always turn on you like it did on me. I'm so grateful for this day, because it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I didn't anticipate I would write this much and if it rambles on sorry, lol.
Again thank you to all of you who helped me when I needed it whether you know it or not you made a difference.
I woke up today 2 years ago, hungover as usual, but that day, for some reason, I was laying there and I thought to myself I need to stop this. I said this to myself many times, but for some reason I thought if not now then when? To be honest, I couldn't think of an answer or a time where their would be a perfect opportunity to quit. I was SO tired of feeling how I felt. I figured quitting can't be any worse then how I felt, so I got out of bed on Oct 12 2016 and quit.
Well I thought that everything would magically get better. I would return to my old self, whatever that had been. I didn't. Physically, I was feeling better, but my mind wasn't right. Looking back I think I was afraid to face life without alcohol. I mean my whole adult life was with my best friend and now she's gone. I don't think I knew what to do.
I was nervous all the time, I couldn't think straight, and just a mess. I was really lost and didn't know what to do. I have always been a self fixer, probably why I drank so much ironically, but I took to the internet to try and figure out why I felt this way and I came upon Sober Recovery. I found a post about PAWS and it pretty much encapsulated everything I felt. It made me feel relief to know that other people felt the way I did and were able to make it through.
I posted some, and still do occasionally, but I mostly read about others successes and failures. The mostly unknowing support I received from all of you helped me to get where I am today. I don't know if I could of kept fighting if it wasn't for the information and support I received from this place.
I found that I didn't need anyTHING to fix me. I had to work on myself. I started meditating and exercising,which really helped. Most of all I did a lot of self reflection and was honest with myself and the people closes to me about why I drank. It took a lot of work and time but things are getting better and better.
For those of you who can relate to this just remember. Drinking will never give you the peace you are looking for. I thought it would and it did for a while, but it will always turn on you like it did on me. I'm so grateful for this day, because it was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I didn't anticipate I would write this much and if it rambles on sorry, lol.
Again thank you to all of you who helped me when I needed it whether you know it or not you made a difference.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Kid50 
I can definitely relate to how you felt before you stopped. Great to know that if I keep at it , someday I'll be where you are now. Congrats
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by ljc267
I posted some, and still do occasionally, but I mostly read about others successes and failures.
PS - Congratulations on two years. That's awesome!
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