Has anyone lost their best friend when they recovered ?
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Join Date: Nov 2017
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Has anyone lost their best friend when they recovered ?
Happy to say since my last post my best friend has gone to rehab for the third time and he 50 days clean. The old him is back! Yay! I was there every single day theu the ugly times and shaky recovery times and now I want him all to myself to soak up all the good. I know it’s impossovle to expect because everyone wants a piece of him now. He says I saved his life and loves me and he’s keeping busy etc but how do I let go and let him be himself again after a 3 year roller coaster ?
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Join Date: Oct 2018
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Originally Posted by CCMT 
Happy to say since my last post my best friend has gone to rehab for the third time and he 50 days clean. The old him is back! Yay! I was there every single day theu the ugly times and shaky recovery times and now I want him all to myself to soak up all the good. I know it’s impossovle to expect because everyone wants a piece of him now. He says I saved his life and loves me and he’s keeping busy etc but how do I let go and let him be himself again after a 3 year roller coaster ?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
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i haven't been in that situation, CCMT, but it sounds to me like ...well, like you lost your "job", in a way. your focus, now that your friend is not in the same need he was in before.
your place has changed.
and so the relationship needs to change to one of equals instead of helper and helped....something like that. i'm putting it crassly, i realize.
as far as how to do that? not sure, but if you feel you cannot do it by yourself, Alanon might be worth checking out.
your place has changed.
and so the relationship needs to change to one of equals instead of helper and helped....something like that. i'm putting it crassly, i realize.
as far as how to do that? not sure, but if you feel you cannot do it by yourself, Alanon might be worth checking out.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
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I have a great friend who has also been there for me in my worst times, drunk, withdrawing, bleeding etc. He would come any time day or night.
Now I'm sober I can sense he misses looking after me. I just want peace and if I'm honest I feel a little embarrassed that he has seen me in such a mess.
When I'm a bit physically better we have planned to climb a mountain again (we met climbing a mountain). But our relationship has changed now and I'm trying my best to stand on my own two feet - I can tell he feels a bit lost and I feel guilty, but he also expresses delight at how much better I look when he sees me.
I expect you will both adjust to your new friendship in time xx
Now I'm sober I can sense he misses looking after me. I just want peace and if I'm honest I feel a little embarrassed that he has seen me in such a mess.
When I'm a bit physically better we have planned to climb a mountain again (we met climbing a mountain). But our relationship has changed now and I'm trying my best to stand on my own two feet - I can tell he feels a bit lost and I feel guilty, but he also expresses delight at how much better I look when he sees me.
I expect you will both adjust to your new friendship in time xx
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Join Date: Nov 2017
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Originally Posted by daisy1
PS - thank goodness for people like you ��
it’s probably been the most unconditional love I’ve eve given...and mostly I looked forward to doing normal things again
very sadly he relapsed day 60 and has gone downhill since...he’s lost so much weight...he said it’s either death or jail for him and wants no contact from me.
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