Hf1988

Today is the day I quit. It's also the day my employers queried my drinking. But they want to help, and not penalise me. No, quitting is not because I was found out, per say. Quitting is because I have no reason to keep doing this to myself. There is nothing triggering my drinking, it's merely a habit I can't break. Or so I thought. I know it's more than that, and I know it's destroying my life. I can't think of ANY reason to keep doing it. So I won't. And even making that decision, I feel free. Free to do what I want, and not worry about whether someone's going to smell alcohol on me, or if I'm going to slur my words, or whatever. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I'm going to start living rather than existing.

I know it's not going to be easy, and that's why I'm here. This place holds so much inspiration in its grasp, and I know I'm going to need every last bit of it to help me through this.

soberandhonest

You've made a good choice Hf1988! Your enthusiasm in quitting is awesome! I would highly recommend that you recognize, right now while you feel so committed, that there will be times, and they are probably coming soon, where you won't feel such enthusiasm. In those times, it is my experience that a written recovery plan will serve you well. That plan will address a plan for getting through the hard times. There are lots of threads on this board about written recovery plans.

You speak of freedom. I can tell you that, when I quit, that sense of freedom was real and it was tremendous. Freedom from booze and the deceit that goes with addiction. Freedom from spending every minute of every day planning the next drink. Freedom from limiting yourself from activities and people because you need to be around things and people that involve booze. And most importantly, freedom from the self-sabotaging ways of addiction. The sense of freedom that you have right now will grow and grow if you allow it. Keep it up! Congratulations on taking a very courageous first step!

Stronger2017

Welcome back hf1🙂 I’m really glad you’ve decided to get sober. I found joining a monthly support thread on here really helped me during the first few months after I decided to quit. I also made a point of reading and posting to SR everyday. Maybe you could try those things too. Anyway, we’re here for you and best of luck on your sober journey!

Hevyn

That's how I felt, hf1988 - I was ready to get free. Tired of looking over my shoulder, of being exhausted & always worrying about maintaining a certain level of alcohol in my system so I wouldn't shake.

It's going to be a great life.

Helianthus

I'm glad you have made the decision to quit

lt really is freeing, instead of spending my life worrying if l have enough booze in the house and running out to buy more every, single, day l can now pick-up groceries once a week from a grocery store that doesn't sell alcohol. It won't seem like much to most people but for me its a huge achievement. Little things mean a lot.

Get ready for a new life

Dee74

Welcome back HF - I hope you can make this time your time

D

Hf1988

Thank you all for the positive reply. Today is the first completely alcohol free day, and I feel good. I know there are going to be days where it feels like hell, but for now, I am making a note of everything positive.
I've also started a "mindfulness" diary, something I can look at when I'm feeling rubbish, and something to keep me on the right track.

D122y

Hf,

I remember being afraid each morning going into work. Who was going to get near me and smell my boozy body odor.

Drinking in my line of work is part of the culture. I have seen many coworkers hung over especially after a football weekend.

I look forward these days to folks getting near me after the weekend. The can see my bright white eyes and my solid build from 3 clean years of living and exercise.

I am in nearly the best shape of my life.

I still have so my physical and mental goals to attain. I look forward to the future. I am beginning to really enjoy the present.

I work hard to let the negative memories of the past go, while learning from the mistakes.

As long as don't relapse today, I will be good for tomorrow.

Whatever it takes.

Thanks.

Jules714

If your employer is offering help I would say thank you very much and pack a bag and return to yourself. That is an absolute gift.
You can do this.
Jules

PhoenixJ