It is all about managing emotions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 431
It is all about managing emotions
Alcohol creates an emotional shift we get a flow of feel good chemicals when we start to drink. We have also conditioned our thought process to conclude that we can only have fun be relaxed etc when we drink. This isn't true, when we were young we didn't need drink to put us in a happy place.
Many of us drinkers face anxiety and other negative emotions, which is the physical manifestation of our negative thoughts and feelings.
We can't directly change our emotional state, that is impossible. However, we can however change the way we think and reframe our thoughts about things. Looking at the glass half full rather than half empty. In time this positive feedback from our thoughts will influence our emotions to be more positive.
At end of the day we are wanting to find a happy emotional state. Alcohol will change our emotions but not in a happy way.
Many of us drinkers face anxiety and other negative emotions, which is the physical manifestation of our negative thoughts and feelings.
We can't directly change our emotional state, that is impossible. However, we can however change the way we think and reframe our thoughts about things. Looking at the glass half full rather than half empty. In time this positive feedback from our thoughts will influence our emotions to be more positive.
At end of the day we are wanting to find a happy emotional state. Alcohol will change our emotions but not in a happy way.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Ger,
Agree. It took me over year to see a noticable change in my outlook. I still sometimes spiral into negativity. But, my big out is that I am no longer a drunk.
I also have a thought process I use to pull me out. Mine goes something like this...i made my bed, i will deal with this, i can't change the past, I will do my best now, I can't change someone's perception of my..that is their decision, move forward.
I still rely heavily on exercise. It creates endorphins. I see the tshirt sometimes that says..exercise is my therapist.
Hitting the gym is a complete 180 from being a drunk.
Thanks.
Agree. It took me over year to see a noticable change in my outlook. I still sometimes spiral into negativity. But, my big out is that I am no longer a drunk.
I also have a thought process I use to pull me out. Mine goes something like this...i made my bed, i will deal with this, i can't change the past, I will do my best now, I can't change someone's perception of my..that is their decision, move forward.
I still rely heavily on exercise. It creates endorphins. I see the tshirt sometimes that says..exercise is my therapist.
Hitting the gym is a complete 180 from being a drunk.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Great post.
What I've found interesting is how 'at the center' alcohol becomes in our lives - to the detriment of being able to see outside of it. Even when we were doing things to 'manage' or abstain alcohol was still the anchor of our point of view.
I'm learning now to see the world around me without booze at all... and I'm seeing there's a whole lot of possibilities for living that have nothing to do with booze that I could simply never see before.
Best-
B
What I've found interesting is how 'at the center' alcohol becomes in our lives - to the detriment of being able to see outside of it. Even when we were doing things to 'manage' or abstain alcohol was still the anchor of our point of view.
I'm learning now to see the world around me without booze at all... and I'm seeing there's a whole lot of possibilities for living that have nothing to do with booze that I could simply never see before.
Best-
B
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
Have to agree with you, Gerard. This is my nth time attempting sobriety, but what's giving it a bit of extra charge so far is the focus I'm putting on my thoughts and emotions while sober. Trying to address the underlying stuff.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
The best way I found to increase the positive in my life is to practice gratitude every day. 
At first it was hard even thinking of one thing I was grateful for. Now I'm grateful for everything and it colors my whole attitude. Makes me happier too.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
At first it was hard even thinking of one thing I was grateful for. Now I'm grateful for everything and it colors my whole attitude. Makes me happier too. https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
Good post, Gerard. Another facet of emotions and booze for me....
interesting, I was thinking clearly about this a few hours ago.
I asked myself why is my emotional 'intelligence' so far behind my cognitive? For me- I perceive a lot of it has to do with 2 things.
Firstly, the huge amount of dysfunction I saw in my family of origin from a very early age- I thought abnormal was normal.
Secondly- booze.
Put the 2 together- and my emotional development was off skew in the first place, then booze numbed them- or put them to sleep. When I stopped drinking (2y8m) they woke up. At least now they are not chemically enhanced.
interesting, I was thinking clearly about this a few hours ago.
I asked myself why is my emotional 'intelligence' so far behind my cognitive? For me- I perceive a lot of it has to do with 2 things.
Firstly, the huge amount of dysfunction I saw in my family of origin from a very early age- I thought abnormal was normal.
Secondly- booze.
Put the 2 together- and my emotional development was off skew in the first place, then booze numbed them- or put them to sleep. When I stopped drinking (2y8m) they woke up. At least now they are not chemically enhanced.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Great post. We wired our brains to turn to alcohol whenever we didn't like the way we felt, or to enhance good emotions.
What I am learning in sobriety is to to learn to live with how I feel, even if it uncomfortable. There are other ways to cope. Because the uncomfortable feeling will pass, alcohol doesn't solve the problem, it doesn't make us feel better, it just masks the problem until the alcohol wears off and then we feel even worse, because we then still have to process the original negative emotion we were feeling, but now also have to deal with even more low mood and anxiety because alcohol is a depressant....and if you are an alcoholic, like we all are, then we also have to deal with cravings and alcohol withdrawal symptoms.
What I am learning in sobriety is to to learn to live with how I feel, even if it uncomfortable. There are other ways to cope. Because the uncomfortable feeling will pass, alcohol doesn't solve the problem, it doesn't make us feel better, it just masks the problem until the alcohol wears off and then we feel even worse, because we then still have to process the original negative emotion we were feeling, but now also have to deal with even more low mood and anxiety because alcohol is a depressant....and if you are an alcoholic, like we all are, then we also have to deal with cravings and alcohol withdrawal symptoms.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 53
For me in early sobriety, I’m processing a lot of unpleasant, negative emotions that I’ve managed to stuff for years - decades really. Things like guilt, shame, fear, anger. Thankfully I have a place like SR to come to and express that without feeling guilty.
Hopefully as I progress and avoid drinking, I can purge some of this and get more in touch with the better side of recovery. I know that comes with time, self-reflection, and work.
Hopefully as I progress and avoid drinking, I can purge some of this and get more in touch with the better side of recovery. I know that comes with time, self-reflection, and work.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Totally agree. I watched a film that upset me recently and it put me in a negative frame of mind which in turn led to cravings. I traced it back to that stupid film and how it made my mind escalate into negative thinking, and snapped out of it luckily.
My SMART group often talks about thoughts and managing them, and learning to distinguish between rational and irrational thoughts. There are always positives to every negative we think about ourselves xx
My SMART group often talks about thoughts and managing them, and learning to distinguish between rational and irrational thoughts. There are always positives to every negative we think about ourselves xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Lakeside, Arizona
Posts: 1,138
I agree and man the flood of emotions that happens when you sober up can be kind of alarming for a while. I drowned all that out for 25 years, I didn't make any attempt at sobering up until it was going to kill me. I was pleasantly numbed without care that entire time.
I have to say now that I've become acquainted with all these emotions I'm a little sad I missed out on it for so long. All the same, better late than never. Feels good, like a fresh breeze on a spring/autumn day.
I have to say now that I've become acquainted with all these emotions I'm a little sad I missed out on it for so long. All the same, better late than never. Feels good, like a fresh breeze on a spring/autumn day.
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