I'm in a bad spot...
Wow, DG...our stories are very similar. And I completely agree with the head games one can experience in AA. However, at it's core there are some really good people who can help, want to help, and will. I'd recommend a warm room, some coffee, and some food (if you can tolerate it). Look at the very first priority...to cease the alc intake. That alone is plenty to think about and physically endure. And I'd piggyback on the poster who mentioned medical help through indigent services if need be....alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. We've all been somewhere very dark with affliction...you're on my radar and I am thinking of you with real empathy and HOPE
I just want to say welcome DesertGuy, and that I am glad you found us.
People do recover. You can do this. If AA isn't your thing, there are other groups/methods.
A person just has to be ready. It takes what it takes. You are young... sending you a hug and encouragment. You can do this.
People do recover. You can do this. If AA isn't your thing, there are other groups/methods.
A person just has to be ready. It takes what it takes. You are young... sending you a hug and encouragment. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
We've all been there. The reason you are feeling so horrible and dark is because of the alcohol. If you stop drinking the dark thoughts will go.
On my last binge I felt so bad I was calling emergency services saying I felt like killing myself. I didn't want to kill myself, and wasn't seriously considering it, but I felt like it as I had such horrible dark thoughts. I can't quite put into words how bad I felt. It was literally hell on earth. Whereas 5 months later after stopping drinking I am in the exact same house with same life but I feel absolutely fine. The only thing which changed is no drinking. Drinking took me to hell which is why I'll never drink again.
On my last binge I felt so bad I was calling emergency services saying I felt like killing myself. I didn't want to kill myself, and wasn't seriously considering it, but I felt like it as I had such horrible dark thoughts. I can't quite put into words how bad I felt. It was literally hell on earth. Whereas 5 months later after stopping drinking I am in the exact same house with same life but I feel absolutely fine. The only thing which changed is no drinking. Drinking took me to hell which is why I'll never drink again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 18
We've all been there. The reason you are feeling so horrible and dark is because of the alcohol. If you stop drinking the dark thoughts will go.
On my last binge I felt so bad I was calling emergency services saying I felt like killing myself. I didn't want to kill myself, and wasn't seriously considering it, but I felt like it as I had such horrible dark thoughts. I can't quite put into words how bad I felt. It was literally hell on earth. Whereas 5 months later after stopping drinking I am in the exact same house with same life but I feel absolutely fine. The only thing which changed is no drinking. Drinking took me to hell which is why I'll never drink again.
On my last binge I felt so bad I was calling emergency services saying I felt like killing myself. I didn't want to kill myself, and wasn't seriously considering it, but I felt like it as I had such horrible dark thoughts. I can't quite put into words how bad I felt. It was literally hell on earth. Whereas 5 months later after stopping drinking I am in the exact same house with same life but I feel absolutely fine. The only thing which changed is no drinking. Drinking took me to hell which is why I'll never drink again.
Welcome to SR Desert Guy. Someone is always here to lend and ear and hand. I'm glad you haven't had anything to drink today. Keep it going.You might have to go through some rough water on this new journey, but you don't have to do it alone. You might even have to shoot some rapids, but again, you don't have to do it alone. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Desert Guy, truly there are services out there that are meant to help people like you, us, they exist from community, county and state services. You may even qualify for a medicaid program in which case your care could be evaluated, needs assessed and help provided for you. I want you to know that there are people that care. Please look into some of the programs. You deserve much compassion and a hand to help you. Many of us know how hard it is to ask.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
well done hung on in there ... i m on day two already feeling a bit better ... keep on reding here and be compassionate big hugs xD
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 353
DesertGuy - I know you are depressed about things. I have been where you are exactly. I moved to LA and got an apartment and had no job. I was broke, and started looking for any job I could get. I was down to my last 50 bucks, no credit card, old beater car when I landed a warehouse job packing things for shipment. I went to work and did a ton of overtime and dug my way out of poverty. You can do it too. Don't give up, stop drinking, take any job you can and get started. You can do it, you are young enough to turn things around and I wish you the best. Come here and post as needed.
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