Starsabove32

I always get to the same point in my sobriety where I start to feel angry at everything and everyone... I keep wanting to strive for better, a partner who treats me right, a higher paid job (but is that really important?)... I'm 32, with a degree I don't use, recently split with partner, so single, no kids... I love my job but it doesn't require any qualifications to get into.... Now these are also all pluses.... I guess I feel I'm running out of time for everything. To find a career, a partner, to enjoy life and then think about kids ahhh! Then I get annoyed that everyone around me just wants to exist, and drink and lie about.... Then I think I don't deserve a better life because I'm not good enough anyway, I'm in a minimal paid job, driving a shity wee car, isolating myself from drinkers and bad vibes.... And it makes me think **** it all, may as well drink and join everyone else because it'll always be this way. Despite me achieving so many amazing things off alcohol. I am so critical of myself, and it's waring me down. I try not to care about appearances to others, but I get sucked in again... I don't even know if this makes any sense lol

Anna

Yes, it does make sense. I have to work at not being critical of myself. I have to pay attention to my thoughts and keep them positive.

You do deserve a good life. We all do. It sounds like you're doing well not drinking. But, it sounds like you're at the point where you need to make lifestyle changes to support your recovery. Have you started any hobbies or an exercise program? I found that volunteer work in my community was so helpful for me. And, a bonus was that I met lots of sober people.

Keeping a Gratitude Journal can really help in getting you to feel good about yourself and your life.

least

I agree with Anna's idea of a gratitude journal. That or volunteering can be very helpful.

Dee74

Hi starsabove - it's hard to get out of that cycle where you look at the immediate and allow yourself to be convinced it will always be that way...of course nothing could be farther from the truth.

Change and growth will happen, and happiness and contentment are very much possible - but the fundamental step towards those things is to reject the false promises of drinking.

drinking solves nothing. it only punishes our minds and bodies.
We've all been down that road before so many times and we know that.

Have faith - use the angry energy to force growth and change - try the other road - it leads somewhere

D

SnazzyDresser

What I wouldn't give to be 32 again. You think time seems to be running out at 32?? You haven't even got started yet. And the way the good things start is by getting sober and staying sober, right now.

Kid50

You ll be straight back to this point again if u drink . Only even more time will have passed. the minute we drink we go straight back to our old lives , The life we have chosen is without doubt a thousand times better.