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Experiences going dry

Old 10-04-2018, 02:29 AM
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Experiences going dry

Hi all from sunnyish France.

I'll introduce myself first.

I'm 55, married with two young children and up to recently a quite heavy drinker. I've been drinking for near forty years on a daily basis. A typical day might involve a half bottle of wine and an Irish coffee at lunch, a large gin and tonic or two on the train. At home, two or three cans of 12% beer and wine. Two to three bottles. You get the picture. (Wine is so cheap here, and a ten litre box costs a pittance).

All the while, I was holding down a responsible job as a architectural consultant in IT.

Now to cut to the chase. This level of drinking inevitably takes its toll, and, over the last year or so, I began to show the signs: shakes, permanent tiredness, weakness, inability to eat, blotchy skin, poor motor skills and more.

So I am tested for a broad range of readings. Results showed deficiency of vitamins B1 & B21, dehydration, some malnutrition and some fat on the liver.

The immediate advice from the consultant was to give up drinking immediately. No taper (and no supervision suggested), two liters of water per day, and vitamin supplements.

It seems to be working in that I have recovered my appetite, my skin is clear, my eyes are clear, I have more energy and am sleeping better.

Here's the kicker: this may antagonize some, but that is not intended:

Thus far, after five weeks, I have had no major issues. At the outset it took me three or four nights to sleep in any way properly. Nor have I had add any cravings to date. A couple of times, after working the formerly neglected garden, I've felt like a beer. That's in the sense that a beer would be nice rather than needed. There is alcohol in the house (I'm seriously into cooking, and some dishes benefit from a glug of rum or whatever). It goes into food and not down my throat.

This is where I must emphasize that I am not being smug. Please please believe this. I am actually very very frightened.

Will I be hit with huge withdrawal at some future stage? Will cravings develop over time? Why have I suffered only very minor physical withdrawal and, to date, no cravings? One physical impact has been soreness in my right calf - I'm not sure whether that is related, though.

Any damage to my liver is a different matter.

My next appointment is in eleven days and I have lots of questions.

I should add that on awaking my first thought would be as to what alcohol was in the house and to arrange my day so that a beer run was included by me or my wife, who has always been teetotal (well, maybe a glass of wine per week). I was hiding beer. I'd always leave a glass full in the box in case she asked for a glass; that concealed the fact that I'd got through ten litre in a few days - the box could be two-thirds full so far as she was concerned.

Soory for the novel-length post. I really am worried and would dearly love to hear whether there are others who went through the same, whether there are deep traps awaiting me out there, and whether it is possible to develop physical addiction without accompanying psychological addiction.

In the meantime, I'm completely avoiding complacency. I feel that I could manage one beer on its own, but I'm aware that many others suffer from that illusion.

Does anyone have any observations/help?
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Old 10-04-2018, 02:46 AM
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Hi Tacitus, welcome to SR!

I am no expert but on observation maybe the reasons for you not getting the emotional withdrawl and cravings could be down to why you are not drinking. For some people if they have a reason such as health as a motivator it can in some cases give them something logical and concrete to not drink for. It makes sense and you are doing it for a strong reason. I think that the danger time is when you start to feel physically feel better as this is when you no longer have the obvious health issues as the reason to stay stopped. This might be the time when the real issues and addiction challenges come to the forefront and may need tackling. x
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Old 10-04-2018, 02:48 AM
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Tacitus Welcome to SR. After reading your post I think that your experience is not typical compared to most folks who drink a lot for years and then try to quit. Maybe you are just lucky but I think you are wise to be concerned about some sort of relapse. Your brain has been smothered in alcohol for almost 40 years every day. That's got to have some impact on how it functions.


I wish you the best and success in recovery. If you find yourself having challenges staying sober you will find a lot of support here. I look at this site almost every day. If on the other hand you find sobriety to be "easy" please report back occasionally. Your experience is valuable to all of us.
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Old 10-04-2018, 03:05 AM
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Originally Posted by AAPJ View Post
Tacitus Welcome to SR. After reading your post I think that your experience is not typical compared to most folks who drink a lot for years and then try to quit. Maybe you are just lucky but I think you are wise to be concerned about some sort of relapse. Your brain has been smothered in alcohol for almost 40 years every day. That's got to have some impact on how it functions.


I wish you the best and success in recovery. If you find yourself having challenges staying sober you will find a lot of support here. I look at this site almost every day. If on the other hand you find sobriety to be "easy" please report back occasionally. Your experience is valuable to all of us.
Thank you for this.

It was difficult for me to open this thread. I've browsed the site and read of the difficulties so many people have experienced and are, indeed, experiencing. I want to be completely respectful to them, and to empathise with their problems. The fact that I'm seemingly atypical is a concern for me - and I fully realize that it is one which many people here would love to exchange for their own tribulations. I feel for them as I fully expected to suffer in the same way.

In the meantime, I will remain vigilant. It's possible that somewhere down the line real problems await. I'll document them if they arise.

One good thing (in a way) is that I am under considerable stress at the moment. We're moving house and have spent a year renovating the new one, with delays and financial issues at every turn. If I can survive that, then I hope I'm on my way.

I'm not an especially strong person, but just muddle through.
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Old 10-04-2018, 05:30 AM
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Hi Tacitus,

I am similar in that I drank heavily for many years and then decided to stop. I didn't have any particularly bad cravings so the challenge for me was more about how to fill the time I would have spent either drinking or recovering from the hangover.

I also have issues in that my personality changes when I drink heavily and I usually always exposed myself to some sort of risk/ramification scenario.

Learning to live a fulfilling life without alcohol is more of a challenge and requires some readjustment. I found this more difficult than any physical or mental cravings.

All the best
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Old 10-04-2018, 08:55 AM
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Hi Tacitus and welcome

Like you l drank for years and years and didn't have any withdrawals when l quit. The hard thing for people like us is never forgetting that we have a problem, no cravings etc can easily lull you into a false sense of security and convince you that you never really had a problem to begin with. That's one of the biggest issues l deal with. The other is filling the abundance of free time l found myself with, boredom is the addicts enemy.

I have found that the body has an amazing capacity to heal itself so good luck there.

Best wishes
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Old 10-04-2018, 09:09 AM
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Not sure I would read too much into it. You might be one of the lucky ones. I remember distinctly a guy who posted here about a year ago from South Africa. He was a scotch drinker and decided to hang it up. He journaled on this site for about 70-80 days. Had a few bumps in the first 3 days and after that he was fine. If I remember correctly he spend extra time with his cats. haha.
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Old 10-04-2018, 10:04 AM
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I think the main thing for you now is to focus on staying sober and recovering. The small effect of withdrawals you've experienced is really not important, compared to your sober future.
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Old 10-04-2018, 03:35 PM
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Hi Tacitus

I detoxed many many many times over 20 years - some were 'good' with no ill effects at all.... and some were not so good.

My main problem with 'good' detoxes is that I invariably took them to mean I was overreacting and didn't have a problem at all.

Sounds like you're in no danger of going down that road, so that's great to read.

I'm not a keep alcohol in the house or an alcohol in cooking guy. Its not a fear based decision it's a freedom based one...but I know others approach that differently . I hope that you can deal in a new and healthy way with any urges that may occur.

I'm genuinely glad for you that it's not been terrible and I hope that continues.

Welcome aboard

D
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