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Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 386
Justin - I should ask you, what are you doing to stay sober and most importantly staying committed to being sober. Incidents may make you feel you need to get better and after few days you may get back to this poison. Like Dee says plan and work the plan.
No body is perfect, none of your co-workers either. Don't beat yourself on this incident, I wish you had learned from your past incidents. If you cannot handle parties then don't go until you are sober and strong. You need to make changes. If you don't try harder, trust me you will lose everything one day. You should feel good that nothing that bad has happened (I hope your incident at party was not illegal). Draw a line and stay in the boundary. You are not a kid, you are mature enough to handle and mend relationships at work., you should go and tackle each one and build that trust and creditably at work again, you got nothing to lose as you build this from bottom up.
Change and do something about your problem. All the best...
No body is perfect, none of your co-workers either. Don't beat yourself on this incident, I wish you had learned from your past incidents. If you cannot handle parties then don't go until you are sober and strong. You need to make changes. If you don't try harder, trust me you will lose everything one day. You should feel good that nothing that bad has happened (I hope your incident at party was not illegal). Draw a line and stay in the boundary. You are not a kid, you are mature enough to handle and mend relationships at work., you should go and tackle each one and build that trust and creditably at work again, you got nothing to lose as you build this from bottom up.
Change and do something about your problem. All the best...
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by Justin00 
Day 3.
My brain is getting back to normal and anxiety have dropped significantly. I still can't believe what kind of idiot I am, not learning from the same mistake over and over again. Drinking has been the worst and only thinig which damaged my life so much.
I went to stand up with my wife last night and we had dinner. It was such a beautiful thing for me, enjoying life again, feeling normal. I started drinking when I was 13 and this was my only pleasure in life. I always associate drinking with relaxing if this would be the only thing you can do after hard week.
I know that if I drink again I will make even more damage. The next morning I have seriuosly contemplated suicide just because I had so many of these mornings I can't handle it.
Tarpaulin, thank you for sharing your story. 7/10 company parties have ended in a similar way for me when I was drinking. The ones I wasn't intoxicated have actually ended so well it helped for my career. This is such and obvious decision to stop.
My brain is getting back to normal and anxiety have dropped significantly. I still can't believe what kind of idiot I am, not learning from the same mistake over and over again. Drinking has been the worst and only thinig which damaged my life so much.
I went to stand up with my wife last night and we had dinner. It was such a beautiful thing for me, enjoying life again, feeling normal. I started drinking when I was 13 and this was my only pleasure in life. I always associate drinking with relaxing if this would be the only thing you can do after hard week.
I know that if I drink again I will make even more damage. The next morning I have seriuosly contemplated suicide just because I had so many of these mornings I can't handle it.
Tarpaulin, thank you for sharing your story. 7/10 company parties have ended in a similar way for me when I was drinking. The ones I wasn't intoxicated have actually ended so well it helped for my career. This is such and obvious decision to stop.
So basically, the brain damage from drinking eventually will not go away. People go clinically insane and the only way they can find mental peace is booze or meds.
Then some folks mix booze and meds. That is moving down a path of pure hell on earth.
Hope this makes sense.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by iwilltryagain
Justin - I should ask you, what are you doing to stay sober and most importantly staying committed to being sober. Incidents may make you feel you need to get better and after few days you may get back to this poison. Like Dee says plan and work the plan.
No body is perfect, none of your co-workers either. Don't beat yourself on this incident, I wish you had learned from your past incidents. If you cannot handle parties then don't go until you are sober and strong. You need to make changes. If you don't try harder, trust me you will lose everything one day. You should feel good that nothing that bad has happened (I hope your incident at party was not illegal). Draw a line and stay in the boundary. You are not a kid, you are mature enough to handle and mend relationships at work., you should go and tackle each one and build that trust and creditably at work again, you got nothing to lose as you build this from bottom up.
Change and do something about your problem. All the best...
No body is perfect, none of your co-workers either. Don't beat yourself on this incident, I wish you had learned from your past incidents. If you cannot handle parties then don't go until you are sober and strong. You need to make changes. If you don't try harder, trust me you will lose everything one day. You should feel good that nothing that bad has happened (I hope your incident at party was not illegal). Draw a line and stay in the boundary. You are not a kid, you are mature enough to handle and mend relationships at work., you should go and tackle each one and build that trust and creditably at work again, you got nothing to lose as you build this from bottom up.
Change and do something about your problem. All the best...
I want to start attending AA meetings if I will be able to find one, because I'm in a foreign country not knowing local language. I don't know what else I can do, I feel so beaten up it's dragging me down. I also don't have anyone to talk to and be honest. I need help.
D122y, I totally agree with you. I have plenty of reasons to have anxiety from. My life is so volatile its not even healthy.
I'm very lost
Day 5
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 780
Day 5 is a good start! Keep committed to staying away from the booze. How long will you be out of country? There are online meetings and chat rooms for recovery and support that you can use if you have nothing locally.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 131
Sounds like you're back in at work; if so, that's great. A lot of great advice here, and I agree with it all. I'd add that you have exactly the right disposition to address the situation though. As painful and humiliating as it is, you're not rationalizing it in any way. That approach with your co-workers will go a long way to bolster any respect lost from your episode. Best, for real
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Oh Justin - I feel for you.
It took me a long time to realise work and alcohol are not a good mix.
You won't be the first and you won't be the last either sadly.
Drinking made me an emotional wreck.
I would say that the torture my mind put me through, was thousands and thousands of times worse than a bad head and a hangover.
I could torture myself with my thinking that I was worthless, a vile individual, that I was a laughing stock.
I sort a lot of solace from my family here and AA.
For me having the peace of mind that this will never happen again to me is priceless. All it requires is me not picking up a drink.
I'm 7 years sober soon.
Its 7 years since I had to wake up and think what did I do?
Just make sure you remember how you feel now in a few weeks, months, years so you are reminded why you don't drink yep?
I wish you the best.
It took me a long time to realise work and alcohol are not a good mix.
You won't be the first and you won't be the last either sadly.
Drinking made me an emotional wreck.
I would say that the torture my mind put me through, was thousands and thousands of times worse than a bad head and a hangover.
I could torture myself with my thinking that I was worthless, a vile individual, that I was a laughing stock.
I sort a lot of solace from my family here and AA.
For me having the peace of mind that this will never happen again to me is priceless. All it requires is me not picking up a drink.
I'm 7 years sober soon.
Its 7 years since I had to wake up and think what did I do?
Just make sure you remember how you feel now in a few weeks, months, years so you are reminded why you don't drink yep?
I wish you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Sasha4, I'm overwhelmed by a thought of being as long sober as you.
Work was just the last thing which made me become sober. I would always do something that I would regret when drinking, its just the different weight of consequences. From getting into an argument to waking up in a different town. It is getting worse and worse with time. Even I manage to moderate my drinking for a month or two there is always this one binge waiting on the corner where I will do so much damage it would take months and months to recover financially, emotionally. To get back to my relationship with family and friends.
That is me. Thinking I can manage it and ending up in a nightmare.
Work was just the last thing which made me become sober. I would always do something that I would regret when drinking, its just the different weight of consequences. From getting into an argument to waking up in a different town. It is getting worse and worse with time. Even I manage to moderate my drinking for a month or two there is always this one binge waiting on the corner where I will do so much damage it would take months and months to recover financially, emotionally. To get back to my relationship with family and friends.
That is me. Thinking I can manage it and ending up in a nightmare.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I am the same type of drinker Justin. I can drink without disastrous consequences most nights, but I am always at risk of over doing it and leaving a trail of destruction in my wake. I can't count the number of times I have been arrested or ended up in the ER over the last 15 years, too numerous. I have been attending AA daily for the past 5 days. It helps tremendously in keeping me sober. Have you researched if there are any English AA meetings? I know that many places with a fair amount of ex-pats have them
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
I am the same type of drinker Justin. I can drink without disastrous consequences most nights, but I am always at risk of over doing it and leaving a trail of destruction in my wake. I can't count the number of times I have been arrested or ended up in the ER over the last 15 years, too numerous. I have been attending AA daily for the past 5 days. It helps tremendously in keeping me sober. Have you researched if there are any English AA meetings? I know that many places with a fair amount of ex-pats have them
Day 6 now. First 5 days I didn't even had a smallest thought of drinking again. Yesterday I caught myself thinking how nice it would be to go to a bar and enjoy a beer. So here we go, anxiety is over but now the cravings are here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 386
Originally Posted by Justin00
I didn't do anything illegal. It was just my reputation going down the drain. It was my partners party where a lot of people from various companies go there to get new business connections, discuss previous projects and I was drunk, going back and forth, partying like in college. I'm a complete mess.
I want to start attending AA meetings if I will be able to find one, because I'm in a foreign country not knowing local language. I don't know what else I can do, I feel so beaten up it's dragging me down. I also don't have anyone to talk to and be honest. I need help.
D122y, I totally agree with you. I have plenty of reasons to have anxiety from. My life is so volatile its not even healthy.
I'm very lost
Day 5
I want to start attending AA meetings if I will be able to find one, because I'm in a foreign country not knowing local language. I don't know what else I can do, I feel so beaten up it's dragging me down. I also don't have anyone to talk to and be honest. I need help.
D122y, I totally agree with you. I have plenty of reasons to have anxiety from. My life is so volatile its not even healthy.
I'm very lost
Day 5
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Thank you for your support iwilltryagain.
Day 7. AA meeting today, working hard at work, clearing my mind with positive thoughts.
Going for a 4 day vacation on Friday to hike in the mountains for 4 days. Can't wait!
Day 7. AA meeting today, working hard at work, clearing my mind with positive thoughts.
Going for a 4 day vacation on Friday to hike in the mountains for 4 days. Can't wait!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Hi Justin,
I'm glad you are back in the SR forums. You recognized that you have an issue with alcohol some time ago. The very first thread you started on SR here seems similar to this thread and it's over two years old. Maybe re-reading it will help you figure out what you need to do differently today to finally beat the alcohol monster?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...verything.html (on the edge of loosing everything)
I wish you serenity and success in your sober journey.
I'm glad you are back in the SR forums. You recognized that you have an issue with alcohol some time ago. The very first thread you started on SR here seems similar to this thread and it's over two years old. Maybe re-reading it will help you figure out what you need to do differently today to finally beat the alcohol monster?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...verything.html (on the edge of loosing everything)
I wish you serenity and success in your sober journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 144
Day 14.
Feeling great! Just came back from vacation I was a little upset in the beginning not being able to have my vacation beer drinking spree to relax and forget everything, but as days passed I felt more and more relaxed just being with my thoughts. The best thing is I came back and I can feel rested, just because I avoided alcohol and been healthy instead.
I don't know whats happening, but I like it. I feel more and more peace, things start to settle down. The one thing I'm most gracious is that I start to get my emotions back. I reduced my SSRI medication from 60mg to 5mg.
On the other hand, I don't know if I can be fully sober. Honestly, I've understood that the general anxiety and the sensitive personality is too hard to maintain being sober. Stress at work, anxiety attacks and I constantly contemplate how could I possibly get some medication in the future to cope with all this. Currently I'm 100% sober besides tabacco, but my mind is telling me to seek for relief. Are benzos good for me at this point till I figure out how to be fully sober?
Going to an AA meeting tomorrow.
Thank you all.
Feeling great! Just came back from vacation I was a little upset in the beginning not being able to have my vacation beer drinking spree to relax and forget everything, but as days passed I felt more and more relaxed just being with my thoughts. The best thing is I came back and I can feel rested, just because I avoided alcohol and been healthy instead.
I don't know whats happening, but I like it. I feel more and more peace, things start to settle down. The one thing I'm most gracious is that I start to get my emotions back. I reduced my SSRI medication from 60mg to 5mg.
On the other hand, I don't know if I can be fully sober. Honestly, I've understood that the general anxiety and the sensitive personality is too hard to maintain being sober. Stress at work, anxiety attacks and I constantly contemplate how could I possibly get some medication in the future to cope with all this. Currently I'm 100% sober besides tabacco, but my mind is telling me to seek for relief. Are benzos good for me at this point till I figure out how to be fully sober?
Going to an AA meeting tomorrow.
Thank you all.
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