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Day 89

Old 10-01-2018, 06:40 AM
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Day 89

Hello everyone,
I have been reading here daily and very much appreciate hearing the experiences of others.
Today is day 89 for me and I went through many weeks of anxiety and self doubt.
Coping with my new found sensitivity to the world and raw emotions has been tough.
I am finding the need to disengage from some activities/situations I committed to previously because all the sudden they no longer feel right.
This is not due to these situations triggering drinking, it's like my drinking made them seem better/more fulfilling than they actually are.
I rarely drank in public but was a home drinker and it got to the point of a bottle or more of wine a night for years.
I am feeling guilty for making these commitments that I now need to
change.
Has anyone else experienced this?
Thanks in advance
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Old 10-01-2018, 08:58 AM
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Congrats on 89 days melski.
You do get more comfortable with making those difficult decisions as the time moves on. I'm just over a year sober and in those early days I was worried about other people's opinions far too much and didn't feel at all comfortable with making different choices to theirs.
Like you I was a secretive drinker and that pretty much confirms that we are really bothered by what other people think.
Fast forward a year and I now have the confidence to go in a different direction to others if need be but be prepared to lose those friends who can't do activities without drinking. I don't miss those friends at all.
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Old 10-01-2018, 03:50 PM
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I had a really hard time saying no to people...but it got easier the more I did it.

If these events are no longer tolerable for you, then don't go

D
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:49 PM
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Melski you are doing really well. First and foremost regarding your commitments you need only need to do what is comfortable for you, so if you need to step back then step back.
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Old 10-02-2018, 01:14 AM
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Welcome and congrats on this milestone! I totally understand what you describe in self discovery. Letting go of what I had been considering fun., and even lifelong ideas like how (only) extroverted I am was a process and sometimes (on that latter part since the "fun" of drinking quickly became obvious as totally wrong!) strange journey.

In two and a half years and change, I have kept discovering and importantly, being able to choose who I am and what I want to do- also learning to accept my flaws along with my preferences.

Keep going. Life is so much better sober as you already see, and it keeps growing.
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Old 10-02-2018, 05:24 AM
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Thanks to you all for the very helpful and insightful replies. What a journey this is turning out to be!
Have a great day all.
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