Hey. I’m new here.. need some advice about my boyfriend?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 14
Hey. I’m new here.. need some advice about my boyfriend?
My boyfriend is a drug addict. I didn’t know this when we first started dating,but it soon became obvious he had a problem. I started finding needles and other drug paraphernalia in my house. I tried getting him help,he somehow weasled his way out of it every time. I’m 17 weeks pregnant with his baby,and he keeps disappearing on me. Tomorrow makes a week since I’ve heard from him. This is the third time he has done this to me. I know it’s related to drugs. I’m just so stressed and I haven’t been doing well. I miss him and I do love him even though he makes me so angry but I don’t know what to do. Do I try to find him again or do I just wait for him to contact me?
I just don’t know. I need advice. Thank you.
I just don’t know. I need advice. Thank you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Welcome, and I'm sorry for your situation.
My suggestion is to focus on yourself and your pregnancy. You said this is the third time that your boyfriend has disappeared, unless he decides he wants to be sober, it will likely continue. You need to take care of yourself right now. Alanon is your city could be a good support for you.
We have a forum for Friends & Families:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...tance-abusers/
My suggestion is to focus on yourself and your pregnancy. You said this is the third time that your boyfriend has disappeared, unless he decides he wants to be sober, it will likely continue. You need to take care of yourself right now. Alanon is your city could be a good support for you.
We have a forum for Friends & Families:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...tance-abusers/
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
You can't make him want to get clean. That has to come from him. I also suggest you get support for yourself and baby. Focus on your own needs since he is not taking care of you.
I hope our support can help you.
You can't make him want to get clean. That has to come from him. I also suggest you get support for yourself and baby. Focus on your own needs since he is not taking care of you. I hope our support can help you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Michelle.
Welcome.
Lots of support here.
Do you have family who can help?
Or friends?
Sadly, I dont think you can depend on your SO, the child’s father, so I would put him on the no hoper list.
Sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you would like to hear.
But his actions so far haven’t been promising with regard to stepping up, so I am thinking that you will need to find your own way forward.
Which leads me back to family? Friends?
Good luck and good thoughts.
Please keep checking back.
This is a very supportive place.
Welcome.
Lots of support here.
Do you have family who can help?
Or friends?
Sadly, I dont think you can depend on your SO, the child’s father, so I would put him on the no hoper list.
Sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you would like to hear.
But his actions so far haven’t been promising with regard to stepping up, so I am thinking that you will need to find your own way forward.
Which leads me back to family? Friends?
Good luck and good thoughts.
Please keep checking back.
This is a very supportive place.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 14
Thank you
[QUOTE=Anna;7024455]Welcome, and I'm sorry for your situation.
My suggestion is to focus on yourself and your pregnancy. You said this is the third time that your boyfriend has disappeared, unless he decides he wants to be sober, it will likely continue. You need to take care of yourself right now. Alanon is your city could be a good support for you.
We have a forum for Friends & Families:
Not sure if I’m replying the right way? But thank you. I have been so upset by him disappearing it’s really all I’ve been thinking about. I know he has a drug problem but I thought he cared more about me than to just disappear from my life. Just stresses me out SO BAD.
My suggestion is to focus on yourself and your pregnancy. You said this is the third time that your boyfriend has disappeared, unless he decides he wants to be sober, it will likely continue. You need to take care of yourself right now. Alanon is your city could be a good support for you.
We have a forum for Friends & Families:
Not sure if I’m replying the right way? But thank you. I have been so upset by him disappearing it’s really all I’ve been thinking about. I know he has a drug problem but I thought he cared more about me than to just disappear from my life. Just stresses me out SO BAD.
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