Blogs


Notices

Weekender Thread 28 September -1 October 2018

Old 09-30-2018, 01:16 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,206
Congratulations to your daughter, Dragon.
Gilmer is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Gilmer For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 01:24 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
Member
 
theVman31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 4,686
Blog Entries: 2
It must feel great Dragon...

Kev it must feel a little overwhelming at the moment so as our friends have seen said maybe focus on some simpler moins emotional objectives for a while.

Have to say I love any English joke. One thing I miss in France is that Anglo Irish wit and sense of humour. We take the mickey out of ourselves and have a great laugh at it... Anytime I go home I always love that.

For the rugby let's see what happens in Japan. The Irish pool seems Clément. Ireland will have to live up to their no2 ranking. France England and Argentina in the same pool uumm. Best of luck in pool B captain you should get qualified.
In 2023 in France. The amount of tower cranes visible in Paris at the moment is extraordinary.
Road work is everywhere...

Time to get serious.
theVman31 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to theVman31 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), MantaLady (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 01:34 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,253
Blog Entries: 42
Morning, weekendears (it's not a typo)

I grossly overslept.

It's a sunny day but I want just to chill out in bed all day and make yet another effort to pull my thoughts together.

I feel like my life has suddenly fell into pieces and I am struggling to recover the unifying element which holds everything where it belongs.

The situation at work is ridiculous. The big boss doesn't sign my letter of resignation for some reason (and no, not because I am irreplaceable employee), some very complicated politics. So I have to drag myself at the office (2 hours one way) to do nothing.

I am about to shoot myself out of misery (it's a parabole, I don't have a gun).

Tomorrow my immediate boss is back from vacation, I am going to discuss it with him is the situation stays the same.

I think I have some kind of "mid-recovery" crisis so to speak.

I will be 6 years sober in 2 weeks and in my mind be this time I should have conquered the world at least.

I devalue everything I've accomplished as "no big deal" "it was high time to accomplish it", which robs me of the foundation to build my future progress and momentum on.

I am struggling to find one kind word for myself that would really resonate with my emotions. Anything good about myself - I don't believe it, I immediately bounce it back.

So, I am being totally selfish now and would appreciate any kind words to help me get out of the dark place.

Glad to hear that Trach is taking care of himself.

Now I need to catch up with your posts.

See you later.
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), entropy1964 (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), TeeJayVerm (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 02:04 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
Member
 
John65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,220
Hello weekenders

This morning I woke up with this song in my head.

A happy and sober Sunday to all.

John65 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to John65 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 02:11 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
Member
 
theVman31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 4,686
Blog Entries: 2
6 years sober is a pretty big achievement MB. It just an example of your perseverance and tenacity. Things will be ok in the end and if they are not OK its not the end... I read that here once.
theVman31 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to theVman31 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), MidnightBlue (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 02:31 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
Sober since October
 
MidnightBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,253
Blog Entries: 42
Thank you, Vinny)
MidnightBlue is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to MidnightBlue For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 02:54 AM
  # 87 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 319
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi There!

I'd like to welcome anyone new to SR and new to this thread.

Weekends can be a tough time, and that's what this thread is about - support.

We also share bits and pieces of our lives and the things that are important to us, or make us laugh..anything that makes the journey a little easier

If you've never jumped into a weekender thread before - no time like today...do it now!


D
Just joining. Hi everyone
Dandelion12 is offline  
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Dandelion12 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), MantaLady (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), MidnightBlue (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 03:09 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
Member
 
theVman31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 4,686
Blog Entries: 2
welcome Dandelion12.
Its nice to have you here with us in the weekender
theVman31 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to theVman31 For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), MidnightBlue (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 03:15 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 22,754
Blog Entries: 2
Welcome Dandelion.

MNB- your words about self concept resonate with me. Although I am only 2y 7m sober. My sobriety ride has been hailed as many overwhelmingly positive things- any predicted I would die from the burns, and if not- the clinical depression, if not- I would be a nursing home patient because my cognitive function was vegetative, or dead from alcoholism post hospital (for 3m) - because of homelessness and losing 50kg. Which I did not.
All the feedback does not touch me- I still mostly feel like a piece of crap..not that I do not respect the people who give this feedback, but I do not believe in myself. Believe in yourself, share your experiences, journal- it takes work.
Support to you.
PhoenixJ is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to PhoenixJ For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), entropy1964 (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 04:02 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mark1014's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Deep South US
Posts: 6,760
Good morning everyone.

A large dose of support and encouragement for those in rough seas.

Predawn Sunday here and no significant plans. Perhaps an afternoon run to help burn off the oyster po’boy I had last night.

A morning cuppa should help me sort it , but I’ll start by savoring that I’ve no empty beer bottles hidden away to stash in the trash and that I’m not too hungover to run if I so choose. .
Mark1014 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Mark1014 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), entropy1964 (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 04:11 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
Member
 
Willow68's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,245
Support to everyone struggling, I think you’re all awesome (that’s including you MB) and I love reading all your posts
I’ve been starting the big clean out of Mum’s place yesterday and today oh my goodness, what a huge job, both emotionally and physically.... she kept everything!! So it’s really going to take some serious time to get through ... I can’t even really talk about it I’m so overwhelmed by the enormity of it... but I’m going to sleep now (9pm Sunday here) and hopefully get some more done tomorrow as it’s a public holiday so I have a long weekend... Night everyone x
Willow68 is online now  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Willow68 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), entropy1964 (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), MantaLady (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 04:37 AM
  # 92 (permalink)  
Member
 
theVman31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 4,686
Blog Entries: 2
Goodnight Willow.
Sweet dreams
theVman31 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to theVman31 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (09-30-2018), MantaLady (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 05:54 AM
  # 93 (permalink)  
Sober-T- Dragon
 
STDragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 7,749
Good Sunday morning everyone.
STDragon is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to STDragon For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 07:07 AM
  # 94 (permalink)  
Member
 
LoveHateWhine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 347
Good Morning weekenders.

Just checking in this morning before heading out for a walk and then a trip into the city to a concert later on. So nice to read of all the long time sobriety some of you have. 6+ years, 2+ years, WOW. I'd like to get past 30 days in a row.

My friends visit last night was good but difficult. The reason they are here is that her brother is an alcoholic in very, very bad shape. Very bad. Every time he goes on a bender, his health deteriorates wore than he last time and she flies up here to stay with him a few weeks to "make sure he doesn't drink". (She lives 1200 miles away). Then when she goes back home, he manages to not drink for a few months but then goes on a worse bender and she flies back here. Vicious cycle that has been going on for about 2 years now.

He has been told by his "liver doctor" that IF he recovers from this last bender and drinks again, he will die. He has all but destroyed his liver and kidneys. He is getting a blood transfusion tomorrow. Surprisingly, he does not have cirhossis, but I guess that doesn't matter, he has all these other issues.

Anyway, they know about my DUI but do not know about my overall drinking issues and I very nicely said that perhaps when he recovers, he could get some support from AA or some other type of program. She started screaming at me that he "he has a disease and AA will not cure him". I was a bit taken aback and quickly changed the subject. Her Significant Other said "I don't think he wants to get better". That is very sad, but probably very true.

I am trying to be compassionate and understanding. I just wan't prepared to be screamed at like that. Actually I am a bit resentful, because I cancelled some other plans I had made to be able to visit with them. I consider them to be good friends. They only stayed a very short time because she wanted to get back home to him to "make sure he didn't drink while we were gone". I asked her how she was going to ensure he doesn't drink once she goes back home. She just shrugged her shoulders.

I will continue to be the best friend that I can be and try to support her but it is hard to remain quiet about the whole thing. That said, I do realize that nothing I say will make a difference and all I can do is be here for her. I don't think it is going to end well.

OK, enough of that. I hope everyone has had a pleasant weekend. Thank you so much for being here. I am so glad I found this thread.
LoveHateWhine is online now  
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to LoveHateWhine For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), MantaLady (09-30-2018), Mark1014 (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), TeeJayVerm (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 07:18 AM
  # 95 (permalink)  
Member
 
zoeydog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 451
LoveHateWhine, I suspect your friend already privately regrets snapping at you. Tough times. I hope for a good outcome for her brother. Clearly, it's taking a huge toll on her (and those around her, like you).
Oyster po'boy!!! Mark … worth every single calorie! Yum.
Willow, hang in there. You have been through a lot, and I know cleaning out the house must be a huge stress. I'm thinking of you.
Hello and happy Sunday, ST, Vman, Phoenix, MB, Petals, Dandelion, John, Gilmer, and everyone else here!
zoeydog is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to zoeydog For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 07:46 AM
  # 96 (permalink)  
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 22,754
Blog Entries: 2
prayers and support lhw
PhoenixJ is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to PhoenixJ For This Useful Post:
saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 08:28 AM
  # 97 (permalink)  
Member
 
LoveHateWhine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 347
Thanks for the support.

While I was out walking, I was thinking about the whole situation and now I feel very guilty and selfish about feeling resentful. I have a drinking problem of my own and while it is has not affected my physical health to that degree, I am well aware that it could. It has certainly given me added motivation to stay sober.

I realize in hindsight I should not complain privately or out loud about how they do or do not deal with an issue that I myself have.
LoveHateWhine is online now  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to LoveHateWhine For This Useful Post:
Gilmer (10-01-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 09:06 AM
  # 98 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 20,134
LHW, I think however you process through this is the right way.

She's under tremendous stress.

You're doing great. Just don't pick up a drink today and all will work out. Talking things through or posting about them helps. So do walks.
biminiblue is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to biminiblue For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 10:29 AM
  # 99 (permalink)  
saoutchik
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 13,202
Welcome to Weekenders Dandelion!

It sounds like they want you to stay MidnightBlue which is a good thing even if you have no intention of staying. Like the old showbiz motto "always leave 'em wanting more"

PJ you're a goddamn inspiration my friend.



LHW I can only put your friends outburst down to stress combined with a lack of understanding which almost all normies have.

Great song John. My follow up single - Trouble over Bridgewater - was cruelly overlooked.
saoutchik is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (10-01-2018), John65 (09-30-2018), MantaLady (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)
Old 09-30-2018, 11:20 AM
  # 100 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 894
Originally Posted by saoutchik View Post
Kevlarsjal - what CaptainHaddock said. It might be worth remaining single for a couple of months as our emotional state is a bit fragile in early recovery.
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ View Post
Kevlar- in early recovery one's emotions wake up- for many with the same emotional lack of maturity as to when they went to sleep with the booze. Without exception- new relationships that I have seen in the first year (at least) in recovery- fail..to many intense emotions. How can one work with another struggling with their emotions, as we struggle with our own. My observations about people I know- NOT YOU. You will have to decide what you do- but I advise caution and patience.
Originally Posted by theVman31 View Post
Kev it must feel a little overwhelming at the moment so as our friends have seen said maybe focus on some simpler moins emotional objectives for a while.
Originally Posted by CaptainHaddock View Post
kevlarsjal, when I was younger and more or less what I presume is your age, our outlook on life in many ways was to experience and enjoy as many different things as possible, and to retain the good. That went for relationships as well. Those carefree days as a young adult come around once only, don’t last all that long and are priceless. My 10 Cent’s worth is to make the most of it, as long as you do so with a measure of responsibility. I think it was Mick Jagger who once said “time is on my side”.

A recognized body of opinion advise against new relationships for about (if I’m not mistaken) the first year of sobriety, but I would think that as with many other things, such recommendations are to some extent individual dependant.
Thanks for all your opinions. I struggle with deciding what is best to do.
I'm 28, 3.5 months out of a relationship and nearly 2 years sober, so I wouldn't consider myself in early recovery anymore I guess. He's 32, just ended his relationship yesterday and sober for only a few months I think.
If it wasn't for his very recent break up and him being that early in recovery, I would feel a lot less concerned and cautious about it. Just having some fun and see where it goes. But maybe it would be best for him to have the time and space to really focus on himself, on his recovery now. This however is the rational part of my brain speaking. I just agreed to meeting him on Tuesday.

I might not go on any more dates with others until I have made up my mind about AA-guy and have talked to him. I have no clue what to do.
kevlarsjal2 is offline  
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to kevlarsjal2 For This Useful Post:
CaptainHaddock (09-30-2018), Gilmer (10-01-2018), MidnightBlue (09-30-2018), PhoenixJ (09-30-2018), saoutchik (09-30-2018), STDragon (09-30-2018), theVman31 (09-30-2018), Willow68 (10-01-2018), zoeydog (09-30-2018)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:47 AM.