It’s driving me NUTS!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 22
It’s driving me NUTS!!!
162 days sober. I feel great about it!!! Sometimes the odd craving but I just keep busy and it subsides. I guess it’s like when I quit smoking ten years ago, I kept busy and before I knew it I didn’t crave anymore.
Only thing is my husbands drinking is SO bad. He argues every night and says straight out that he’s not drunk when he’s slurring his words and getting verbally angry at anything. Even when I try and talk to him about anything, like my day at work...the garden...a program on tv, etc he takes exception and gets so demanding and mean!! I know I’ve going on about him in my previous posts but it’s really getting me down. He’s even being pulled aside at work because of his “whatever” attitude and he may loose his job!!
Only thing is my husbands drinking is SO bad. He argues every night and says straight out that he’s not drunk when he’s slurring his words and getting verbally angry at anything. Even when I try and talk to him about anything, like my day at work...the garden...a program on tv, etc he takes exception and gets so demanding and mean!! I know I’ve going on about him in my previous posts but it’s really getting me down. He’s even being pulled aside at work because of his “whatever” attitude and he may loose his job!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
Hi Allie 
A lot of folks here have spouses who drink, even alcoholically. Fortunately it's not a deal breaker for our recovery & you will always find support here.
Who knows - you may be a good role model for your husband to follow, when he's ready?
I hope thats soon - and congrats on your sober time
D
A lot of folks here have spouses who drink, even alcoholically. Fortunately it's not a deal breaker for our recovery & you will always find support here.
Who knows - you may be a good role model for your husband to follow, when he's ready?
I hope thats soon - and congrats on your sober time
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Allie- I deal with the same type of situation. It is really frustrating. I don’t talk to him if he has been drinking and if he starts in on me I leave the house. The best thing you can do is create your own life and stay busy apart from him until he decides to be fully present. Have you thought about al anon? Also don’t forget this site has a friends and family section. .
Just remember you can only control yourself and you are responsible for your own happiness.
. Just remember you can only control yourself and you are responsible for your own happiness.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 14
I've been sober now for 21 months and my wife is a daily heavy drinker. She constantly has a drink around. I've found a couple of tricks that work for me when I get frustrated with her drinking.
She drinks over some really silly self induced drama some times. I have to laugh and say "Not my circus. Not my monkeys" and let it go. That's nothing for me to control.
I go to bed around 9 PM which is when she might be getting a little surly. She stays up for another few hours after me watching TV. This allows me to have some calm relaxing time alone to reflect on the day and my sobriety. It also helps me get some really good sleep that I didn't get when boozing.
The other tool that I found helpful is to not engage in discussions with her when she is drunk. I politely tell her that I don't think that the discussion is productive right now because I'm tired and could we please not talk about it until the morning. If she persists, I walk away.
On a side note, I think that my sobriety is starting to rub off on her because she now mixes ice cubes in with her wine and has cut out hard liquor almost entirely. I think that she wasn't going to make any attempt to quit drinking until she knew I was serious about it. I'm fast approaching 2 years so she might throw in the towel at 5? lol... anyway, progress, not perfection. I do love that woman.
She drinks over some really silly self induced drama some times. I have to laugh and say "Not my circus. Not my monkeys" and let it go. That's nothing for me to control.
I go to bed around 9 PM which is when she might be getting a little surly. She stays up for another few hours after me watching TV. This allows me to have some calm relaxing time alone to reflect on the day and my sobriety. It also helps me get some really good sleep that I didn't get when boozing.
The other tool that I found helpful is to not engage in discussions with her when she is drunk. I politely tell her that I don't think that the discussion is productive right now because I'm tired and could we please not talk about it until the morning. If she persists, I walk away.
On a side note, I think that my sobriety is starting to rub off on her because she now mixes ice cubes in with her wine and has cut out hard liquor almost entirely. I think that she wasn't going to make any attempt to quit drinking until she knew I was serious about it. I'm fast approaching 2 years so she might throw in the towel at 5? lol... anyway, progress, not perfection. I do love that woman.
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