Kaily

I am still struggling with daily drinking of vodka.
I have been out walking with my dogs for 2 hours today which was great but as soon as I come home I feel the need to drink, can't relax without it at all.
If I could be busy 24 -7 it would help but I'm 55 and get tired.

August252015

I was a hardcore vodka person too and I know just what you mean about being tired. I had this equation in my head that vodka would power me through, well, life- and sometimes I guess but it was ultimately even more exhausting, among other things. I was indeed so tired when I quit, but I can promise you that my real energy and rested state got infinitely better when I stopped using vodka to run my life.

CaptainHaddock

Kailey, I am sorry that you are still struggling. I don’t know whether in your efforts you manage to string a few sober days together, or whether you are just not ever getting through day 1. I am about 4 months sober. Without a doubt for me day 1 stands out as the single most important day, because getting through it is the key to start breaking the cycle.

I have in the past done different things to make day 1 happen. For example, scheduling a late appointment to make sure that when I leave work all the liquor stores are closed.

You say that as soon as you get home you feel the need to have a drink. I might be wrong, but get the impression that you don’t go to a pub to have that drink. Have you considered ridding your house of alcohol?

Kaily

I am going to have yet another try to STOP.
So today is day 1. Last drink was 12 hours ago, feeling uncomfortable now as this is the time of day I normally start drinking.

fini

way to go, Kaily,
and you know you will be uncomfortable, of course you will. lots of things always suggested for that: distractions, tea, hot bath, hanging around SR, going to a meeting whether you like it or not....learning to just be with discomfort is okay, too
and this particular one will lessen if you stick with it.

NerfThis

Did you see CaptainHaddock's comment about ridding the house of alcohol? If your current plan isn't working, something needs to change. If alcohol is in your house and hugely tempting, then a good change would be to get rid of it. That way you can only drink if you actively make the effort to go to a bar or to a store, so you will have more time to stop yourself from drinking.

Kaily

No alcohol in the house as I buy it daily and don't stop drinking it till its all gone then repeat the next day.
Unfortunately there are plenty of shops around me that are open 24 hours a day which makes it very easy to buy at any time.

markinny

not having alcohol in the house is a no-brainer for me. there is no way I could ever stop if it were. I also live alone, drank alone and eventually became so isolated and introverted that I lived like a hermit. I agree with getting out to some meetings even if you don't feel the program is for you. fake it till you make it.

ScottFromWI

I live around a lot of those same shops, most of us do. However, it is possible to choose to not go there an buy alcohol - lots of people do it every day. And fortunately, you have that choice too ;-)

SoberLeigh

Glad to hear this, Kaily. Day 1 can be very difficult but, without it, the goodness of sobriety cannot take hold. You and your health are worth this endeavor; you won’t regret it.

Be sure to stay hydrated; drink plenty of water; have small, light meals. Check with your doctor or the ER/AE if you are concerned about your symptoms.

Stay close to us.

There is always someone here who cares.

Dee74

You can do this sober thing Kaily - sure it's hard work...but so is drinking and trying to stay 'functional'...

D

LadyBug66

Kaily, when I would get too uncomfortable in my soberness, I came here and read post and posted a lot. I also started eating more sweet things, instead of drinking I would eat icecream a lot! lol Some days it was a minute by minute thing then it got to be a day by day thing. I also drank a lot of club soda with lime. I am a little over 9 months sober now and I feel so much better and have a better handle on what triggers me to want to drink. Still have a few times I think about drinking but I use the tools I have learned here to get thru them. I'm here on chat almost every night even if it is only for 5 minutes to say hi. I also watch alcohol intervention shows on youtube. It really hits home. I am 52 and these 9 months is the longest I have gone without alcohol since I was 16. If you ever want to talk I'm here. Something else that has been kind of cool.... I've saved over $1,500.00 by not drinking.

Delizadee

Switching up your routine around the start of your usual drinking time could be really helpful.
Work on being mindful. I know when I have been stuck on the wash, rinse, repeat vodka cycle everything works through autopilot.
It's like I need that elastic on my wrist to snap myself out of it.

You can do this

Sophie11

Hi Kaily, sorry you've been struggling. Have you tried SMART Recovery? Secular, focussed on CBT and other science based techniques. Meetings are online and anonymous, and there's zero pressure to speak if you don't want to... And in the UK there's no limit on the number of people at each (digital) meeting. (they also do in person) Just a thoight. Sending strength, Sophie

SoberLeigh

Thinking of you, Kaily.

LadyBug66

Kaily, just stopping by to see how you are doing today. Hang in there!

Kaily

Hi thanks for asking.
I am now on day 4.
Remarkedly very little physical symptoms with regards to withdrawals but mentally struggling with drinking thoughts, cravings and dreams. Boredom and loneliness are also a very big problem.

On the positive side I am sleeping better, physically feeling better and getting more done.

What I need now is some sort of incentive to maintain sobriety and not become ambivalent about it as I have done before.

Wholesome

What helped my in the early days was examining my relationship with alcohol and my beliefs about it. I really challenged those beliefs and AV lies and literally changed my thinking.

I also used a lot of distraction and got into some new hobbies and interests.

I changed my routines and started avoiding situations and people that made what I was doing harder.

I spent a LOT of time on SR. SR is free and available 24/7.

No matter what was going on in my life or in my head, I didn't fu*kin' drink! Like Tatsy used to say, "It's not willpower - it's won't power!" My new obsession became about how I wasn't going to drink, and slowly the days turned weeks, and weeks turned into months and it got easier. I went through times where I felt low or depressed, but I rode them out, it's part of the process. Plenty of times I felt so good that I would dance.

You can do this Kaily.

Kaily

Correction day 5 not 4!!

CaptainHaddock

Hi Kaily, now THIS is what I was waiting to hear! Please keep posting your progress.