Had 5 days but now back to 0 and on a binge
 

Last week I told myself this was it, I was gonna stop drinking and get sober. And I felt okay for the first few days.. I've never been the type of alcoholic to get withdrawal symptoms, but I did get cravings throughout the day that would come and go. One day, day 5, was particularly bad for the cravings. It just so happened that day was the day I needed to go grocery shopping, and the grocery store is right next to the liquor store. I did my groceries and was okay, put it all in my car and began to drive off, but then that big liquor store sign caught my eye. I tried so hard to resist, stopped and hesitated for a bit but then gave in and got a bottle of vodka. That was 3 days ago and since then I've been drinking before class everyday, driving while buzzed, drinking in the afternoon and before bed.. it's too much. I know I should stop and deep down I really want to, it's not fun anymore and I just feel guilty every time I drink. But still, I wanna keep on going. I'm only 20, how could I just stop drinking for the rest of my life? Maybe I'm not ready for sobriety. I don't know.. it's so conflicting. I just keep thinking why did it have to end up like this? Why couldn't I just be a normal drinker and have some drinks on the weekend? I'm tired of this, it's a miserable way to live, but I can't just stop for good. The longest I've had sober was 1 month and it felt good but it couldn't last because the whole time leading up to that 1 month milestone, I always had the idea that I'd let myself have some drinks once I reached it. I was even counting down the days til I could have those drinks. So how can I stay sober while going one day at a time and still avoiding all the triggers and temptations? Am I even ready for that? I feel hopeless.

Welcome, rye. It is nice to meet you.

I am very sorry,that you are struggling.

Simply put, some people cannot be normal drinkers. I am definitely one of those people; heaven knows that I tried.

Acknowledgement and acceptance are key to recovery. So is WANTING sobriety.

Maybe try making a list of the ways that your life would be better without alcohol. You may begin to see just how much you truly want sobriety and an exponentially better way of life.

A Plan for Sobriety hs been the key to success for many people.

I will post a link to a fantastic thread on that subject in a minute.

*******

As promised:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst

Welcome!

You can stay sober and you're lucky to realize you are an alcoholic at the age of 20. You don't need to go through anymore misery and you can choose to live a sober life.

One thing that seems to help in the early days is to plan. Get your groceries at a different place that isn't next to a liquor store. Drive home from work a different route. Do whatever it takes to get through the day.

Boy have I been there..... wrapping up 5 years sober soon though and I’ll tell ya what; it’s way better.

Get yourself back onto sobriety!!

Welcome. Do yourself a favor and if you are drinking don't drive. See the thread by Rich. You don't want to hurt yourself or others. And take action. I wish I had at 20. I was drinking at 17 and by 20 was well on my way to a real problem. Good luck to you.

Welcome Rye! I hope you find the strength to stop drinking. Until than please do not drive unless you are totally sober. You can destroy many lives playing like that, especially your own.

Becoming sober at 20 and for the rest of your life is much, much better than waking up in jail at 20 and being told you severely injured or killed someone, and won't be going home again for a long loooong time. Think it can't happen to you? Read this thread...

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-happened.html

Hi and welcome Rye :)

I'm impressed you did 5 days - with the right support and encouragement, I believe you can do much more than that.

Noone here would get and stay sober if they thought they lost out on the deal :)

My life changed a lot- but it's a million times better than my drinking life :)

D

Hello Rye,

Like many here, I certainly wish that I would have come to the realization at 20 that alcohol would destroy many parts of my life:

Jobs, relationships, health, finances, sanity.

You have a great opportunity here, stop before you spend 20 or 30 more years discovering how much alcohol will take from you.

Be well, and take care....WF

You are wise beyond your years even if it doesn’t feel like it yet!!

Only bad things come from drinking. :( I hope you can get sober before something awful happens. :(

5 days to 0 was my weekly habit for a number of years.

I imagine that, at 20 years old, your biggest obstacle to giving up alcohol is fear of missing out (or FOMO, as the kids say!) on some fun. Totally understandable, and yes, people your age are known for partying it up on weekends; most of them outgrow that scene as adult responsibilities start to settle on them. For those of us with alcohol addiction, we never outgrow it, and carry it into our adult lives with devastating results.

Try to think of these things you'll be missing out on:
*Hangovers
*Bad decisions
*DUI convictions (see thread referenced above)
*Early-onset health problems
*Embarrassing behaviors
*Money literally p*ssed away

If you are already aware that you have a problem with drinking, my only promise to you is that things will certainly get worse the longer you drink; the math is irrefutable in that equation.

There are many ways to get and stay sober, but desire to do so is probably the most important factor. You sound almost convinced it's the right thing for you! I think that it probably is, despite your age. I wonder how many others here look back and fervently wish they had given up booze when they were younger, before the wreckage really got started...

Let's not drink today! Best regards, Grampaw :)

Hows it going Rye?

D

How brave you are to write your story
Your so young
Like many others have said I wish I could go back to your age and have the sense to know then what I know now ...
I think for me before I stopped drinking the thought of never drinking again absolutely terrified me to the point that I would drink more ...
I'm almost 9 months sober ..yes it's been hard but it's the best thing I've ever done in my whole life .
I've slowly adapted to my new life and I love it ....There is so much out there for you
I wish I could get through to my 24 year old son ....
Best of the best to you xxx
Cara x

I'm so glad you're here and posting. I wish I had been smart enough to stop at your age, I am getting close to three years sober, and although life still throws curveballs it is so much better dealing with them sober.

Thinking of you, rye.