Chung

Today it has been 12 years since my husband passed away. He died in a car crash because he was drinking and driving amongst other substances in his system. That is when my downward spiral into drinking alcholically began. You would think that tragic event would have taught me about the horrific disease of addiction. Before he passed, he was struggling with cocaine and alcohol addiction. At that time, I had no clue about addiction. I just thought he could just quit if he wanted to, and was very angry at him for choosing to "party" over the kids and I. He was by far one of the kindest, sensitive, and loving person that I ever met. He was the life of the party and wanted everyone just to have a good time and be happy. Almost 1,000 people attended his viewing/funeral. He was so loved by so many people from all walks of life. Ironically, since I am an alcoholic, I realize NOW that he didn't choose alcohol/ drugs over his family, it's the power of the disease. I didn't have the knowledge of this at that time and thought it came down to sheer willpower. I regret not having been more supportive and understanding the torment he was going through. I wish my children who are teenagers now knew what kind of man their father was who had such an impact on all his loved ones. Through his passing and my addiction, I hope more than anything and I pray to God every day for my children to choose a completely different path. I know their father would want the very best and happiness for them and break the cycle.

yinzer

I’m sorry, Chung.

entropy1964

Aw I'm sorry Chung. I know how hard trauma anniversaries are. My hub died almost 7 years ago, Oct. 31st. Cancer. I get it.

It sounds like you are still sober and that is the best way to honor his memory for sure. And you are setting a great example for your kids by changing. That means more than any words. What is it they say? Your kids don't listen to what you say. They are too busy doing what you do.

Stay strong.

Fearlessat50

So sorry for what you have been through! You are enlightened and sober now. This is the best gift you can give yourself and your children. Through your enlightenment and recovery, you can help others as well. You are an inspiration

saoutchik

My condolences to you Chung, it must have been so hard having to go through that and care for a young family. The time is right for you to look after yourself and get better. I'm sure your husband would want that too.

Dee74

I'm very sorry for your loss Chung but I'm so glad you're embracing recovery - I think your husband would be proud of you too.

D

PhoenixJ

Prayers