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Slipped again and suffering PAWS

Old 09-22-2018, 06:57 AM
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Slipped again and suffering PAWS

Hi Everyone,

I was going well since January this year, unfortunately I went on a 6 day bender, AWOL from work in Middle East. I will know my faith end of this month as I had to borrow money from my company to pay my Hotel and bar bills. I didn't have the money to pay so company paid on my behalf and said they will deduct from September's salary. My fate is unknown regards my future employment after that. Hauled in front of major International Company CEO to explain myself!! OMG what a clown I am. Back on wagon again Thank God, Day 19 Clean and suffering from Post Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms, only abstinence, time with exercise and healthy eating will cure me. Feel shite, but this will pass sooner rather than later I hope. God Bless you all.
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Old 09-22-2018, 07:13 AM
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I'm sorry that happened and I hope you can manage to keep your job and pay off the debts. We are here to help and I do hope you stay sober.
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Old 09-22-2018, 07:23 AM
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Slipped Again

Hi Anna,

Thanks for your reply, yes Company will deduct from my September salary (US$ 3,000) it remains to be seen if they keep me or not in current employment, fingers crossed!!! Learnt my lesson and still suffering for it.
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Old 09-22-2018, 08:37 AM
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I’ve lost two jobs due to my alcoholism and had other binge induced absences that could have led to a similar fate. If I pick up on a Sunday I have no control of the outcome once drunk, I could easily miss a whole week of work. Of course my AV wants me to forget that part of my past. I’m back fully employed and enjoying it. Whatever your fate, you can rebuild and exceed your expectations by staying sober. Good luck with it.
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Old 09-22-2018, 03:06 PM
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Carl,

That is terrifying to lose total control like that.

I remember a few times in my life where I drank way too much, slept for just a few hours and then drove home/worked. Those could have been life altering.

Any time we drunks drank was an...anything can happen time.

Prayers for you. Booze having that kind of effect on a person is way up there on the horrible scale.

You might benefit from antabuse.

I relate to lamenting over what is going to happen. I used to obsess like that routinely every night and especially Fridays. It was my drinking that made it worse.

The problem is I still obsess, but it is way better. But, it took well over 2 years to really settle down.

I suffered to get this clean and that is why I am never drinking/drugging again.

Thanks.
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Old 09-22-2018, 04:13 PM
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welcome back Carlingford

a small but important point - PAWs generally starts after 30 days, if at all - so what you could be dealing with here is plain ol' withdrawal/anxiety.

Another reason to quit and stay quit.

Hope you keep your job

D
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Old 09-22-2018, 09:51 PM
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Slipped Again

Hi everyone and Thanks for your reply's. Dee, yes you are probably correct, plain old withdrawal/anxiety, though feeling better every day especially if I sleep well and getting back to my old self. I will let you all know my employment fate end of month. Fingers crossed. Have a nice Day/Night wherever you are
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Old 09-22-2018, 09:59 PM
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So happy for you that you already made it to day 19. I am excited if I just make it to day 7 in 1 day and 2 hours.
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Old 09-22-2018, 10:08 PM
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Hi FreedomCA. Thanks for response, I mark up my calendar in my diary everyday. its like therapy for me and I get some sort of satisfaction doing that. Best of luck on your journey, stay safe and sober
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Old 09-29-2018, 08:40 AM
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Hi Dee yes you were right felt ok this morning and bang, all the PAWS came back again. Feel terrible, all the symptoms, what a horrible sneaky disease.
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Old 09-29-2018, 09:17 AM
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I had PAWS bad, for me it would come and go in waves. Over time the waves dissipated but they could still take my be surprise when they hit. I'd keep it in the back of my mind when I was feeling better so it wouldn't blindside me so bad when it came back. Eventually it subsided but it took around 13 months for me. Not drinking was the only way to make it through and it's been well worth it.
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Old 09-29-2018, 04:43 PM
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do everything you can to take care of yourself Carlingford - eat right, get enough sleep, a little exercise - all those things will help

D
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Old 09-29-2018, 05:57 PM
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I am sorry that you slipped and about what you are going through, Carlingford. I hope you can keep your job. I hope that you can learn something from this relapse to make you stronger. What I learned from previous relapses is that I got too comfortable and became complacent. I will never let that happen again. This is a lifetime journey. Can you keep checking in here?
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Old 09-30-2018, 06:02 AM
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CL, I understand your pain. Yes, I've been through it, including having to meet the CEO the morning after.

That will all play out...but, regardless of how it plays, what I did when I finally took recovery seriously was to only deal with today. Yes, that silly cliche was a gift in all aspects of recovery. I just stay present tense and by trying to do the next right thing always, the future has taken care of itself.

My best.
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Old 10-06-2018, 11:04 AM
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Hi everyone, sorry for late response and thanks for your words/advice. Happy days I have kept my job, thank God. I have been keeping my head low these last few weeks in work and keeping ahead of the pose. I have learnt my lesson and don't intend going down that route again, not only for me but my family who are totally reliant on me. Exercising again by swimming/walking, eating good, sleeping still a bit off but getting better. God bless you all and Thanks again.
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Old 10-06-2018, 11:26 AM
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I'm glad you have your job and that you're doing well.
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Old 10-06-2018, 04:59 PM
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Thats good news carlingford

D
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Old 10-20-2018, 12:28 PM
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Hi everyone, day 20 now and all good, was offered by a Spanish chap "did I want to have some home brew wine" (I work in Middle East and live in camp) I promptly declined. Feeling Strong Hope you all well and thanks again for your help and support after my slip, onward and upwards one day at a time
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Old 10-20-2018, 01:03 PM
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Great job! x
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Old 10-20-2018, 02:07 PM
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Thatís wonderful!
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