I'm trying to be better
 

Hello again friends , I fell off the wagon hard , and it's been two days since I've drank right now and the depression is hitting me like a stack of bricks. I keep asking myself how many times do I have to look around and see the wreckage that i've caused before I actually learn. I hope I can be strong enough to beat this , with the help of all the great people here.

Welcome back Donnie. Glad you've gotten a couple of days under your belt, it can certainly be rough for the first several days after quitting.

You get to decide "how many times" - this could be the very last if you really want it to. I think spending some time here is a great idea, don't rule out finding some support locally too.