0 logged days yet and struggling
 

Just having a reallly hard time with all this. I’m capable of holding a job, family, and relationship. That sort of alcoholic. But I don’t want to be. My husband and I enjoy going to brewery’s together and stuff like that. He just about never drinks, but giving up the social part of it is what I don’t like. However, trying to see myself not picking up another drink is really hard. I don’t want it to be a problem, I want to be normal like him where I can have one beer every couple weeks and be satisfied. But I’m pretty sure that’s not realistic for me. So I’m having a hard time coming to terms with that. I have naltrexone which I loathe because of all the side effects. It sort of works for me though. Had two tall drinks last night, but needing support because I said last night I wouldn’t either, and I did. If there is a future where I can be balanced, cool. But I need to at least get a few months under my belt before I feel that bridge out, and I’m having a hell of a time getting even a day under my belt.
Any input is welcome.
Thanks!

Welcome, I hope you decide to stop drinking for good. Yes, it's hard and it means making lifestyle changes, but it's worth it. There are lots of social activities that don't involve alcohol.

If you are an alcoholic, it's highly unlikely you will be able to control your drinking. Most of us here have tried moderation, and it simply doesn't work for us. Stopping completely is really much easier than moderating.

Welcome to SR. When the teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, we all wanted to be a policeman or fireman, or vet or nurse. Nobody wanted to be an alcoholic. It wasn't a career or lifestyle choice, nor was it a criminal offence.

It is an illness with a definite pathology, one part of which is the alcoholics very strong desire not to be an alcoholic. Instead they have an obsession to control and enjoy their drinking. It's not your fault, anymore than catching a cold would be your fault. It is just something that happens to some people, like me, and we can never take alcohol safely in any form at all.

Have a good look around this site. You will find all kinds of useful suggestions and things you can check out. It is a problem if you can't get past one day. Maybe a detox or rehab will need to be considered for you to get a start.

Find a way or gradually lose your job, family and relationship and everything else.
Keep educating yourself.
There is a way and you can do it.
Acceptance is key.
Dont think you are a different kind of drunk/drinker/alcoholic. ( although we all probably did at some point)
Wave the flag of surrender and admit alcohol is way too big for you.
I found it impossible to stop without owning up to the fact that one drink was not possible for me.
Besides, it a poison that causes cancer and lots of other health problems.
There’s so many safer ways to socialise.
Or if extreme sport is your thing, try BASE jumping, at least this way of getting a buzz may not kill you.

Take care,
I really hope you can work your way through the insanity of it all.
Very trixy this alcoholism.

I don't know if this helps you or not, but I used to get a calendar and write on it if I drank that day or not. Then you have a visual record - say last week you drank 5 days and did not 2. Small steps are then rewarded. I was amazed if I made it a week with no drinks. Then a month seemed out of reach. I, like many others here, have relapsed. But the calendar thing helped me, and maybe it can help you. It is such a positive reinforcement to look at a calendar and see sober days cropping up over and over. Good luck to you.

hello Incognito1, and welcome.
I've been where you're at, the "but I don't want to!!!" place....didn't want to have this problem, didn't want to miss out on whatever I thought I was going to miss out on, didn't want to have to change, didn't even want to have to look at this, didn't want to "give it up" and most certainly not for good.
and when I decided, frequently, that I DID want to quit, I kept going back even though I didn't want to.
I did once have a six-months abstinent stint which I decided on in order to then re-evaluate the situation. it was fairly easy, amazingly so.
later, I realized it had been easy because I knew I would get to drink again later.
being "pretty sure", as you are, is a place I stayed in for a long time. years of trying for control.
in the end, my only way out was and is abstinence. that word has connotations of deprivation, but has been nothing at all like that for me.

way to go on checking this out and showing up here!

Controlled drinking, so hard . I tried it a few times didn’t work. I found that my only thoughts were when can I drink and how much. Blew that plan to hell.
It was only when I figured out I just can’t drink , surrendered whatever you want to call it that things changed. A whole new world does open up for you, it just takes time to recognize it. I drank for 40 yrs. there are times that I miss it but the thought is fleeting. It was very hard for a while . Everyday I wanted to drink but I fought it and went to bed sober. Thoughts finally eased out of my mind and I’m learning to live again.
Good days, bad days, they pass, good feelings , bad feelings pass also. It’s just better

Hi and welcome incognito :)

I can guarantee you than none of us would still be hee and sober if ee thought we lost out on the deal.

My social life now is different - but ti;s more active and fun than my drinking life ever was. Change is scary I know - but not all change is bad wither :)

D

Welcome to the family. :) I hope our support can help you achieve lasting sobriety. :)

I am similar in that i am married, working and "functional". My wife is a heavy drinker though and in her mind i am able to control my drinking. Its kind of funny as the only time i drink close to moderately is when I've vowed to quit, and my drinking is in fact a relapse. When i try to moderate, i end up binging. Goes to show you cant read minds. My "control" is really me hanging on the edge of a cliff.

Everyones terminal dosage is different, and permanent damage is, by defination, permanent. I have fatty liver and a proven track record that i cant drink. Potentially reveraable, but it also can turn to cirrohsis. Theres a quote on here floating around that roughly goes "theres no problem that a drink cant make worse" If you think you have a problem drinking, you likely have a problem drinking. It has nothing to do with anyone but yourself and what you want from your life

Welcome!

Day 3
 

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for everyone’s encouragement and advice, etc. I kind of had an epiphany on what might help me at least get started, so I came up with a plan, kind of a long story. Then, I saw my alcohol counselor Thursday, and went to a trusted friend who’s been sober 15 months now to get some advice or just open up to someone who’s “been there”. Long story short I’ve been sober two days, going on 3. 9/19 was my last...drinks haha It’s incredible to me how much of an accomplishment that feels like. It’s one of those things that no one can understand unless they’ve “been there” how big a deal or how proud you are of yourself. Some good advice my friend and counselor gave was that you have to take it one day at a time. She said even if it was something we enjoyed, if someone said you had to do it for the rest of your life it’d be overwhelming. So that’s my focus. One day at a time, nothing else. Also I’m feeling really positive and trying not to obsess over, “ok so when’s my really hard day coming?” It’s such a mental game! I feel like my tough day will be today. I love beer, and we’re headed to the Highland games. I’m off to take my naltrexone, and give myself a big pep talk. Thanks guys!
Also, I’ve been experiencing jerky movements, not just twitches. Anyone else get that? Does it go away?

Congratulations on your success so far and yes, the one-day-at-a-time advice is probably the single most useful thing you'll ever hear in recovery.

The physical symptoms are likely to pass in a week or so but if you have any concerns at all, please seek professional medical advice if you can. I have experienced quite severe jerky movements in early sobriety in the passed which past with some time, but if you can, best to get some proper advice on this.

I wouldn't place too much hope in your ideas about reverting to "normal" drinking in a few months. If you are anything like me and the other alcoholics I know, you'll find it soon sneaks back up again. I picked up after well over six years without a drop of alcohol and I was daily drinking again within a week and it took me eight months to stop.

Best to just focus on not drinking today really. Once you get through withdrawal, you are no less sober today then you will be in a week, or a year, or a decade. But those days will take care of themselves.

Best of luck and keep posting.