1stepup

Well I'm back, 6months in rehab a month sober afterwards then out of the blue my world fell apart when I got dumped ,and couldn't cope, wish I hadn't but it led to a 3 week binge and now I'm back to square one, day one, lonely, angry at myself, anxious depressed and afraid..........

Dee74

Good to see you but I'm sorry you're struggling again 1 step.

we've known each other a long time, so I'll just jump right in...

...a lot of your relapses seem to come from relationship issues and break ups - maybe now's a good time to put all that on the back burner - not for ever, bnut for now - while you work on your self and your recovery?

gotta be worth a shot?

D

1stepup

Yep you're right dee, rejection has been the trigger in my last three relapses and although I hate the thought of being on own i know I need to stay single and not put my sobriety at risk. It's hard as I honestly thought this was the girl for me. From wanting to spend a happy future together, plans etc she pulled the plug two weeks later saying her feelings had 'changed'. I did everything right and still got dumped........

brighterday1234

Put your recovery and sobriety at no1 priority in your life. The rest will follow...

Dee74

You know I always thought the cure for loneliness was another person - but it's actually not.

It's about being comfortable in your own company. Thats took me a while, but it was only possible through me staying sober.

when I met someone after that it was an entirely different thing to want to be with them rather than needing to be?..

.a lot less complicated

D

Zanna

There is a lot to be said for being single - eat when you want, sleep when you want, even get the TV remote control when you want and hey, you can even pass wind when you want
I wouldn't have my life any other way - give it a go for a while

1stepup

Thanks, spot on advice and it's going to be tough but I'm going to give it my best shot, the 6months in rehab were tough and I can't help but feel a failure for relapsing but I have gained a lot of self knowledge and given my body a break. Recovery is on going though and unfortunately there is no quick fix. If I can learn from my mistakes i have a chance to recover........

Dee74

no point in beating yourself up man - it takes what it takes

D

1stepup

Yeah I'll try to look forward now dee, stay close on here and just get back to basics. I know they say for every one of us our paths are different and my journey has sure been an eventful one.... I long for still waters now after the storm.....

least

My dad used to tell us, when you're alone, at least you know you're in good company.

Michael2018

Sorry about the relapse. But what is most important is that you are back

1stepup

Expectations of being sober have been my downfall, the whole I'll stay sober as long as this happens or that doesnt . It can't be like that, it has to be no matter what happens today I won't drink.....

Gerard52

Sorry 1setup that is tough. Your recovery is more important than any relationship be good to yourself.

Caralara144

I feel for you ..but your so worth your own recovery it will take time but you will make a far better life for yourself.
Big hugs
Cara x

Jim1958

Relationships are difficult. For me, I was choosing the wrong women. Part of me was selecting women that were not right or not really interested in what I was. Then when things fell apart I was off to the liquor store. Now I try to make sure that I am not repeating bad dating behavior. And that means being alone much of the time. But I think it is easier to remain sober if there is not an emotional crisis around the corner. Hang in there and start over dating wise, or take a break and re-evaluate things. Best of luck to you.

venuscat

Something told me to check the new posts.....now I know why.

We have been friends for a long time love....this needs to be about YOU....not a relationship......not yet.....just the one with you and your gorgeous girls....we need time to build our skills and strength in sobriety.....I was sober for a few years before I got married last year, and it was still very very hard for me...relationship stuff is of course just so emotional...

Anyway....I am THRILLED to see you. And here for you. xx ♥

sweetichick

I recommend going to AA. Everyone in AA says rehab doesn't work unless you follow up. In saying that being. Dumped sucks. I have relapsed since myself. I now choose everyday to be single. Too much worry and effort. Find your self again and learn to love your self. Find new friends and revel in being single. It's not that bad.

thomas11

I hope you can get back on track. There will always be "reasons" to drink, we must resist. Right?

Hawking22

You are not alone at all, but in very good company. A lot of us have been there and are there. The important thing is you're here and you're willing to try again. Stay here and lean on your friends as much as you need <3

1stepup

Thanks for all the support guys, the emotions of hurt comes in waves just like the cravings but I've managed to ride them out today without drinking.....